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 Post subject: Re: what's your weapon?
PostPosted: Mon Feb 10, 2014 5:32 pm 
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Ambulatory Cortex wrote:
I do believe I require a device for the purposes of delivering death to a large number of individuals from some distance in a reasonably rapid manner.


Hey, no problem, we can TOTALLY handle that for you. richv's quasar cannon is, of course, richv's and you aren't authorized to tote it around, but no problem, I gotcha covered.

Behold, Ambulatory Cortex: the Cortex Bomb o' DOOOOOOMMMMM!!!

It's a bomb, locked to your biometrics. When you detonate it, it will blast everything within 1 AU back into primordial monatomic hydrogen. The blast wave spreads at 0.15c so, while it's possible to run from it, you pretty much need a good head start or a teraport. So, exactly as requested: it kills a large number of individuals, from some distance away, and it does it reasonably rapidly.

Of course, it is permanently and unremovably lodged in your cortex....

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 Post subject: Re: what's your weapon?
PostPosted: Sat Mar 08, 2014 11:00 pm 
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Hello. A lurker would like to request a forum weapon, please. I would appreciate a powerful one.


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 Post subject: Re: what's your weapon?
PostPosted: Sat Mar 15, 2014 12:50 pm 
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Praetor wrote:
Hello. A lurker would like to request a forum weapon, please. I would appreciate a powerful one.



Behold, the most powerful weapon in the known universe: I give you The unReality Gnu. Unlike The Reality Gun, The unReality Gun or even The Reality Gnu, this here beast is hotter than a two dollar pistol and more lethal than a supernova at point blank range. Going further than mere disintergration or vaporisation, it will unmake whatever you tell it to. It will be as though your target never existed.

Fortunately, it is equipped with reality modifiers such that there are no resultant paradoxes from it's use. Unfortunately you're going to have to learn to speak Gnu first. Or you could teach it to speak whatever language you want. Fortunately still, it's pretty friendly (so it won't unmake you), and it's also pretty smart (so you should have no trouble with the teaching). Never needs feeding, or cleaning.

Hey if you play it right, you might end up with a whole herd of them!


This creature is not a MesCorp Weapon. It is a random animal we found in the Heavy Weapons Testing Range, where it was grazing and quite annoyingly erasing all our ordnance out of reality.

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And if you're ever in a fight involving thermonuclear weapons, shoot first.


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 Post subject: Re: what's your weapon?
PostPosted: Sat Mar 15, 2014 1:23 pm 
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Hi. Been here for years, never checked in. I'd like to try and weaponise Chlorine Triflouride


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 Post subject: Re: what's your weapon?
PostPosted: Sat Mar 15, 2014 2:27 pm 
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mesmorino wrote:
Praetor wrote:
Hello. A lurker would like to request a forum weapon, please. I would appreciate a powerful one.



Behold, the most powerful weapon in the known universe: I give you The unReality Gnu. Unlike The Reality Gun, The unReality Gun or even The Reality Gnu, this here beast is hotter than a two dollar pistol and more lethal than a supernova at point blank range. Going further than mere disintergration or vaporisation, it will unmake whatever you tell it to. It will be as though your target never existed.

Fortunately, it is equipped with reality modifiers such that there are no resultant paradoxes from it's use. Unfortunately you're going to have to learn to speak Gnu first. Or you could teach it to speak whatever language you want. Fortunately still, it's pretty friendly (so it won't unmake you), and it's also pretty smart (so you should have no trouble with the teaching). Never needs feeding, or cleaning.

Hey if you play it right, you might end up with a whole herd of them!


This creature is not a MesCorp Weapon. It is a random animal we found in the Heavy Weapons Testing Range, where it was grazing and quite annoyingly erasing all our ordnance out of reality.

Oh my. I, well, um, thanks! I definitely appreciate it. I promise to use it responsibly*.
*For my own definition of responsibly.


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 Post subject: Re: what's your weapon?
PostPosted: Sat Mar 15, 2014 8:10 pm 
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stonefish wrote:
Hi. Been here for years, never checked in. I'd like to try and weaponise Chlorine Triflouride


Just so I understand you correctly, you want to weaponise what is essentially a ready made weapon? I want to say no, but I want to say yes!

Also, "never checked in"?! What in the who authorised this?!

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Bring a knife to a fist fight. Bring a gun to a knife fight. Bring a grenade to a gun fight. Bring mortars to a grenade fight. Bring thermonuclear devices to a mortar fight.

And if you're ever in a fight involving thermonuclear weapons, shoot first.


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 Post subject: Re: what's your weapon?
PostPosted: Sat Mar 15, 2014 9:50 pm 
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Location: 4.2 ly from Alpha Centauri, 8.5 ly from Sirius, 10.5 ly from Epsilon Eridani
I wonder what means of awesomely impractical weapon the armorers can come up to issue to this choosy poster.

I only post when I feel I have something to add to the discussion. Even if the need for my posts still to be moderated through means there's a huge delay in the message final arrival.

So many cool weapons though have been issued already to the forum members.

Also is it just me, or does anyone else think the wasteland area outside this subforum the seems like victim of some apocalypse?


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 Post subject: Re: what's your weapon?
PostPosted: Sun Mar 16, 2014 3:26 am 
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By "weaponise", they probably don't mean "make more deadly", but rather "make deadly over there, without being deadly right here, before I want it to be, even." Basically the difference between nitroglycerine and dynamite.

EDIT: So... MesCorp may not be the best people to ask.

mesmorino wrote:
Also, "never checked in"?! What in the who authorised this?!

A whole bunch of us slipped in past the checkpoints, part of the preparations for the Great Forum War I mean... We, uh, fell through the cracks. Yes, that's it. No ulterior motives here, nor prior allegiances, nope, nope, nope.


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 Post subject: Re: what's your weapon?
PostPosted: Sun Mar 16, 2014 1:08 pm 
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[quote="Psystorm"]By "weaponise", they probably don't mean "make more deadly", but rather "make deadly over there, without being deadly right here, before I want it to be, even." Basically the difference between nitroglycerine and dynamite.

EDIT: So... MesCorp may not be the best people to ask.

Indeed. Good thing we're in habit of not giving out special requests like that one. So you gonna do it, Mes? Or shall I cook up something humiliating for him?

Edit: Oh never mind. Just this once, I guess.

You said YOU would like to try to weaponize ClF3. This is slightly different than asking for somebody else to engineer and field test a weapon that incorporates it, and deliver to you the resulting finished product. Hence and therefore...
*leads you into a basement machine shop replete with all the latest in computer-assisted machining and rapid prototyping tools, a walk-in closet full of feedstocks for the lathe, floor plated with an inch of steel, a HAZMAT suit hanging in the corner next to a large first aid kit which is heavy on Burn-Jel and tubes marked "calcium gluconate", and the centerpiece, a shiny 10 gallon steel pressure tank, liberally covered with warning signs*

Good luck, and we're all counting on you.


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 Post subject: Re: what's your weapon?
PostPosted: Sun Mar 16, 2014 2:05 pm 
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Ermm ... I hope that basement machine shop is in a basement far far away from the armory...
I wouldn't like it when "Lil' Bertha" gets scorched by an inextinguishable fire. And i would hate to think about how all that MesCorp stuff on the back shelves will react to Chlorine Triflouride... :shudder:

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And I will laugh.


Proud owner of Lil' Bertha, the massive sniper cannon atop of the armory. Her range is measured in parsecs and she has automatic gyrostabilization, quantum beam tunneling technology and FTL target acquisition probes.


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 Post subject: Re: what's your weapon?
PostPosted: Sun Mar 16, 2014 4:20 pm 
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max_da_killah wrote:
Ermm ... I hope that basement machine shop is in a basement far far away from the armory...
I wouldn't like it when "Lil' Bertha" gets scorched by an inextinguishable fire. And i would hate to think about how all that MesCorp stuff on the back shelves will react to Chlorine Triflouride... :shudder:

According to the records... *thumbs through* Its sub basement 77, of the machinist building. Completely seperate building, and deep enough that the worst a disaster could do is make us need a sub basement 78 (which is kinda what created everything past sub basement 20...)


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 Post subject: Re: what's your weapon?
PostPosted: Sun Mar 16, 2014 6:37 pm 
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Jindra34 wrote:
According to the records... *thumbs through* Its sub basement 77, of the machinist building. Completely seperate building, and deep enough that the worst a disaster could do is make us need a sub basement 78 (which is kinda what created everything past sub basement 20...)

The machinist building? Isn't that the one that doubles as a launch silo though? *looking down from top* Cause all I see is a tall hole...


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 Post subject: Re: what's your weapon?
PostPosted: Mon Mar 17, 2014 12:10 am 
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ChowGuy wrote:
Jindra34 wrote:
According to the records... *thumbs through* Its sub basement 77, of the machinist building. Completely seperate building, and deep enough that the worst a disaster could do is make us need a sub basement 78 (which is kinda what created everything past sub basement 20...)

The machinist building? Isn't that the one that doubles as a launch silo though? *looking down from top* Cause all I see is a tall hole...


Hey now, that was just the ONE TIME.


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 Post subject: Re: what's your weapon?
PostPosted: Mon Mar 17, 2014 12:49 am 
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Y'know... It occurs to me. I was never issued a weapon. I have an unlicensed nuclear particle accelerator, backpack-mounted, along with an arm-mounted energy projector and scomp-linked HUD on my glasses. Built it for Halloween a few years ago. Doesn't quite perform correctly yet, but I've made some progress past the first few models. Needs more than just the case of pinball machine parts that that crackpot gave me - couldn't even pronounce standard units right! - to perfect it, but I'm getting closer. If R&D contracts are available, rather than weapons, and considering Egon's unfortunate recent passing - may you get to continue your research, old friend - I might be able to get my hands on some of his notes...

This bears thinking upon. Can't just ask for a weapon, that leads to bad stuff. And I've been here long enough I can't pass myself off as a new hire - even issued weapons myself, once or twice!

Hmm...

Hmm...


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 Post subject: Re: what's your weapon?
PostPosted: Mon Mar 17, 2014 2:37 am 
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Ishidan wrote:
You said YOU would like to try to weaponize ClF3. This is slightly different than asking for somebody else to engineer and field test a weapon that incorporates it, and deliver to you the resulting finished product. Hence and therefore...
*leads you into a basement machine shop replete with all the latest in computer-assisted machining and rapid prototyping tools, a walk-in closet full of feedstocks for the lathe, floor plated with an inch of steel, a HAZMAT suit hanging in the corner next to a large first aid kit which is heavy on Burn-Jel and tubes marked "calcium gluconate", and the centerpiece, a shiny 10 gallon steel pressure tank, liberally covered with warning signs*

Good luck, and we're all counting on you.

Now that's the kind of serious business I was expecting :lol:

/me goes hunting on ebay for a secondhand DIY waldo kit with hypercomm link.


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 Post subject: Re: what's your weapon?
PostPosted: Mon Mar 17, 2014 12:07 pm 
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Psystorm wrote:
I have an unlicensed nuclear particle accelerator, backpack-mounted, along with an arm-mounted energy projector and scomp-linked HUD on my glasses.


*runs for the next shuttle off the planet*

Great Scott man, how the hell did you get one of those? Those things are dangerous. Now put it down carefully in that annie containment shell, back away slowly and we'll issue you with something safer, like Lil' Bertha or a Quasar Cannon. Not even Mescorp experiments with those anymore, not after the incident when Nigel became Nigella.

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 Post subject: Re: what's your weapon?
PostPosted: Mon Mar 17, 2014 1:44 pm 
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Psystorm wrote:
Y'know... It occurs to me. I was never issued a weapon. I have an unlicensed nuclear particle accelerator, backpack-mounted, along with an arm-mounted energy projector and scomp-linked HUD on my glasses. Built it for Halloween a few years ago. Doesn't quite perform correctly yet, but I've made some progress past the first few models. Needs more than just the case of pinball machine parts that that crackpot gave me - couldn't even pronounce standard units right! - to perfect it, but I'm getting closer. If R&D contracts are available, rather than weapons, and considering Egon's unfortunate recent passing - may you get to continue your research, old friend - I might be able to get my hands on some of his notes...

This bears thinking upon. Can't just ask for a weapon, that leads to bad stuff. And I've been here long enough I can't pass myself off as a new hire - even issued weapons myself, once or twice!

Hmm...

Hmm...


*Calls the MPs, has them confiscate your NPA, take it out to the Navy's artillery range (aka Ceres) and has the EODs guys dispose of it properly*

BOOOMMMM!!!

Ahem. *Sends out a memo to recruit new EOD guys*


Ok, we need to get you something a little safer. Hm, let's see....you're into nuclear particle accelerators, so you're a little nutty to start with. Hm...

Aha! Got the perfect thing!




Psystorm, I hereby issue you: the NNPA (Nutty Nuclear Particle Accelerator). It is a railgun that shoots walnuts (which are, of course, composed of nuclear particles).

To be more specific, it's a railgun the size of Ayer's Rock. *checks units* Sorry, my mistake, I forgot this was metric. (By which I mean, "I forgot to carry the 2^20." Oops.) It's a railgun the size of Olympus Mons. Anyway, it's really big. And it fires walnuts at 0.8c with an accuracy of 0.3mm at 10 parsecs.

Only two problems:
  1. It's a completely fixed emplacement; you can't move it, and the only way to change the point of aim is to turn the planet.
  2. ...which is less of a problem than it seems, since the recoil will spin the planet like a pinball, and possibly knock it out of orbit.

But hey, the ammo is so affordable, it practically grows on trees!

_________________
After 3 long, weaponless years, I became the wielder of the Doobie/Dobie gun!


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 Post subject: Re: what's your weapon?
PostPosted: Mon Mar 17, 2014 4:51 pm 
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*double post*


Last edited by ChowGuy on Mon Mar 17, 2014 5:08 pm, edited 1 time in total.

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 Post subject: Re: what's your weapon?
PostPosted: Mon Mar 17, 2014 5:07 pm 
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Ishidan wrote:
ChowGuy wrote:
The machinist building? Isn't that the one that doubles as a launch silo though? *looking down from top* Cause all I see is a tall hole...


Hey now, that was just the ONE TIME.


Yeah, but we're still waiting for some of the pieces to de-orbit so we can rebuild it.

A non-portable rail gun the size of Olympus Mons? Sheesh, what kind of fun is that? How about an Illudium Q-39 Explosive Space Modulator instead?

Warning, has a tendency to backfire. And please point the Earth shattering kaboom somewhere other then Ceres for testing. The new EOD team is still trying to put it back together after the last mess.


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 Post subject: Re: what's your weapon?
PostPosted: Mon Mar 17, 2014 6:56 pm 
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Hmm... lessee... rough upper limit on a walnut, without gengineering, 100 grams EDIT: That's for a cup of walnuts! A single, medium-sized walnut can weigh between 5-10 grams. All calcs after this based on a cup, so a single walnut changes a lot. .8c roughly 2.4E8 m/s. Works out to between... in joules, which,lower bound ~600 kilotons, upper bound ~1.4 megatons about 143 kilotons... But the recoil... Upper boundary, to knock an Earth-sized planet out of orbit... necessary increase or decrease in orbital velocity ~5 km/s, weight of earth ~5.972E24kg, necessary force ~7.465E+31 joules... means recoil roughly equivalent to 1.8 zettatons. If it only spins the planet like a top, significantly lower, but... to do this without severe structural ramifications on the planet and the railgun, there has to be some sort of reinforcement or something, because even if we're not talking about an earth-sized planet and are only talking exatons or, hell, petatons, that would send the railgun clear through the core of the planet, if it was still in one enormous-mountain-sized piece... reinforcement likely tensor fields or similar... energy required enormous, applications for tensor fields, significant.

On the other hand, Illudium Q-39 Explosive Space Modulator... assuming no interference from wascally wabbits... minimum gravitational binding energy of an Earth-like planet 2.2E32 joules... assuming no chain-reaction effects, minimum yield of a Q-39... roughly 52 and a half zettatons. But only one-shot.

So either a roughly 143kt shot, repeatable as long as I have walnuts and can calculate trajectories, but whose recoil sends a planet spinning like a top (I can only assume the efficiency of the railgun is utterly woeful - but that can be improved), but the fact that it does that instead of utterly destroying the railgun, as the recoil is, very conservatively, 10) orders of magnitude greater than the weapon's impact, means that there's more at work here than meets the eye, plus the power for that isn't coming out of nowhere, so I could likely power the entire world with the reactor and have enough left over for experiments. Or, a one-shot, possibly chain reaction, planet-destroyer, that likely comes with its own integrated sabotage system, but with a yield at around 29 times greater.

Y'know what? The structural reinforcement of an entire planet, along with the reactor necessary to power the railgun... that has revolutionary implications. I'm going to go with the railgun, even though... *looks longingly at the Space Modulator* No. I could benefit all of humanity with the tech from the railgun. Plus, if I can improve the efficiency even slightly... Yeah, railgun it is. I might even be able to work this and the related tech into a propulsion source for the planet, to say nothing of the spacelaunch possibilities. Thank-you for the generous offer of the Space Modulator, ChowGuy, but this way I not only get a weapon, but also research projects for the next few decades, at least!

So, after 9 years of being weaponless, and three of those nine only weaponless in the sense that I didn't have an issued weapon, but rather one I built myself, I now have a railgun that can knock a planet out of orbit with the recoil, but has an effect on the target EDIT: less than ten times that of Little Boy. Which means I have research to do!

EDIT: I changed my sig, but it's not showing up at the bottom of my posts. In fact, my old sig never did, either. I can see all of yours, but can you see mine? Can't find an option that would turn it on, apart from the one that turns on all sigs.


Last edited by Psystorm on Mon Mar 17, 2014 10:04 pm, edited 1 time in total.

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 Post subject: Re: what's your weapon?
PostPosted: Mon Mar 17, 2014 9:44 pm 
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So you took the humongous railgun?
Let's celebrate that with a friendly sniping competition, whoever menages to kneecap the backstabbing Eco-Witch Miriam more often wins.
BTW, whats your target acquisition like?

And no, I can't see your sig. Guess you have to go to "User Control Panel" -> "Board preferences" -> "Edit posting defaults" and set "Attach my signature by default:" to "yes".

Bruce the Loon wrote:
Psystorm wrote:
I have an unlicensed nuclear particle accelerator, backpack-mounted, along with an arm-mounted energy projector and scomp-linked HUD on my glasses.


*runs for the next shuttle off the planet*

Great Scott man, how the hell did you get one of those? Those things are dangerous. Now put it down carefully in that annie containment shell, back away slowly and we'll issue you with something safer, like Lil' Bertha or a Quasar Cannon. Not even Mescorp experiments with those anymore, not after the incident when Nigel became Nigella.
Dunno, i find myself strangely enamored to a unlicensed backpack-mounted nuclear particle accelerator...
Too bad that it's already destroyed. :cry:

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The world will look up and shout: "Spare us."
And I will laugh.


Proud owner of Lil' Bertha, the massive sniper cannon atop of the armory. Her range is measured in parsecs and she has automatic gyrostabilization, quantum beam tunneling technology and FTL target acquisition probes.


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 Post subject: Re: what's your weapon?
PostPosted: Mon Mar 17, 2014 10:08 pm 
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max_da_killah wrote:
So you took the humongous railgun?
Let's celebrate that with a friendly sniping competition, whoever menages to kneecap the backstabbing Eco-Witch Miriam more often wins.
BTW, whats your target acquisition like?


Well, apparently I've got 0.3mm accuracy at 10 parsecs, but I'm not sure how good I am at actually finding targets, plus I want to get a little work done on this first, find out why the recoil and effect on target are so wildly divergent.

...Plus, find a way to not knock the planet it's mounted on (I really should find out which one that is) out of orbit. That, too.

Also, currently any form of aiming past "wait for the barrel to point at the target" currently requires me to turn the planet. Luckily, the research into why the planet can survive the shots may yield a way of propelling the planet - who needs interplanetary spaceships when we can take the planet as a spaceship.

max_da_killah wrote:
And no, I can't see your sig. Guess you have to go to "User Control Panel" -> "Board preferences" -> "Edit posting defaults" and set "Attach my signature by default:" to "yes".


Let's see if that fixed it... EDIT: Yup.

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Now armed with the Nutty Nuclear Particle Accelerator, which has... implications. Now with further implications! Manual's kinda wordy, though.


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 Post subject: Re: what's your weapon?
PostPosted: Mon Mar 17, 2014 10:38 pm 
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Ya know, those massive losses in your railgun are probably related to whatever keeps the walnut coherent at such extreme speeds. I bet with some tweaks, you could boost that launch speed by quite a bit, at the price of accuracy. :twisted:


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 Post subject: Re: what's your weapon?
PostPosted: Mon Mar 17, 2014 10:45 pm 
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Hmm... past a certain speed, there's no practical difference between a solid projectile and a cloud of particles, or even a particle beam... *dawning realisation* Whitehawke... y-you are a beautiful human being, you know that?

Do you know what this paragon of humanity did? He gave me a weaponised particle accelerator that, assuming I can get it up to even 0.01% efficiency, has a yield in the hundreds of petatons... I-I'm going to need a minute here...

Oh, the tinkering that awaits!

EDIT: A particle beam can also be used as a variable-choke thruster - with this power for a planet - or an (inefficient, dirty) laser-propulsion device for a long-range laserrider ship...

To say nothing of the power source! I can imagine any number of scientists will be lining up to help me on this one!

If any of you near Brisbane, Australia, hear a window-shattering high-pitched squee, that's me giving in to the impulse to vocalise my excitement. And all under the guise of taking away my dangerous backpack particle accelerator!

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Most certainly a Nejjat spy in disguise. I mean not. Not a Nejjat spy. Human. Completely human. Yes.

Now armed with the Nutty Nuclear Particle Accelerator, which has... implications. Now with further implications! Manual's kinda wordy, though.


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 Post subject: Re: what's your weapon?
PostPosted: Mon Mar 17, 2014 11:03 pm 
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Here, have some cleenex ...

*sits down and starts thinking about how to move "Lil' Bertha" (and the roof she's permanently bolted to) to somewhere less likely to be hit by hundreds of petatons worth of walnut particles. Like Andromeda or so*

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And I will laugh.


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 Post subject: Re: what's your weapon?
PostPosted: Mon Mar 17, 2014 11:51 pm 
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Thank-you for the tissue. *wipes drool*
what, did you think I'd need it for something else?

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Most certainly a Nejjat spy in disguise. I mean not. Not a Nejjat spy. Human. Completely human. Yes.

Now armed with the Nutty Nuclear Particle Accelerator, which has... implications. Now with further implications! Manual's kinda wordy, though.


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 Post subject: Re: what's your weapon?
PostPosted: Tue Mar 18, 2014 12:41 am 
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Psystorm wrote:
And all under the guise of taking away my dangerous backpack particle accelerator!


Well of course. Your backpack particle accelerator was strictly an amateurish cobbled together affair. That's what made it dangerous. This is professional grade ludicrous mayhem(*). There's a difference.

(*) Battery not included.


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 Post subject: Re: what's your weapon?
PostPosted: Tue Mar 18, 2014 12:49 am 
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Psystorm wrote:
or an (inefficient, dirty) laser-propulsion device for a long-range laserrider ship...!

I wonder how many walnuts this would get to the lightyear :D


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 Post subject: Re: what's your weapon?
PostPosted: Tue Mar 18, 2014 10:37 am 
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Psst, Max!
Deidre's the eco-witch.
Miriam's the bible-thumper.
Which one are you using for your plinking contest?


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 Post subject: Re: what's your weapon?
PostPosted: Tue Mar 18, 2014 11:56 am 
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Ishidan wrote:
Psst, Max!
Deidre's the eco-witch.
Miriam's the bible-thumper.
Uh ... I think you might be right about that. But their delusions are equally nutty and their screams, when i drop a planet-buster on their headquarters, sound pretty much the same to me. So you might forgive me for confusing those two.

Ishidan wrote:
Which one are you using for your plinking contest?
Let's start with the bible-thumper. She has annoyed me more and we can always switch over to the eco-witch once Psystorm one-shots the whole headquartes(or whole capital or even the whole continent) in his attempt to kneecap her...
Care to join in?

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The world will look up and shout: "Spare us."
And I will laugh.


Proud owner of Lil' Bertha, the massive sniper cannon atop of the armory. Her range is measured in parsecs and she has automatic gyrostabilization, quantum beam tunneling technology and FTL target acquisition probes.


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