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 Post subject: Re: what's your weapon?
PostPosted: Sun Jan 15, 2017 1:26 pm 
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Reptile House Exhibit
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Joined: Tue Aug 26, 2014 1:53 pm
Posts: 314
Hmm, and it's a spiral? Can he get the range extension on that spiral, so that it looks like a unicorn horn being thrust into an enemy?

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I hope Para never plays with Tenzy. The result would be terrifying.
Para and Petey need to have some dialog together. Just because.


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 Post subject: Re: what's your weapon?
PostPosted: Sun Jan 15, 2017 3:13 pm 
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Aquarium Exhibit
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Ishidan wrote:
*returns from the build shop*
*Places a circlet of black, cold, dense metal on the table. Its shape resembles a running spiral, with two gems inset -one each accenting the eyebrows.*

Aahh. No ironic twist like twisted iron.
In addition to its natural anti-Fae properties, these gems have been imbued with short range gravimetric distortion projectors--gravy guns in our parlance-that will render any target up to a medium tank into a chaotically warped mass of metal and flesh in seconds.

No, the problem is not recoil, or sidelobe effect. It's activation range. You asked for a weapon that is impractial, not outright suicidal.

Both gems must contact the target for the effect to activate, and the circlet must be on your head at the time.

Therefore, you must make physical contact on the target with your head. Whether you do it like Ender at the enemy's gate or like Zidane is up to you.


It's perfect. Strangely enough, head-butting is my signature fighting style.


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 Post subject: Re: what's your weapon?
PostPosted: Wed Jan 25, 2017 6:29 pm 
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Safari Exhibit
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Chowguy I hereby issue you a Naked Gun. This gun makes the victim acutely aware that, under their clothes and armor, they are naked and you, right now, are looking at them. Don't point that at me!

Image

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May or may not run a Reaver-powered Perpetual Internal Combustion Engine of War And Shrapnel Fabber


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 Post subject: Re: what's your weapon?
PostPosted: Mon Jan 30, 2017 11:40 pm 
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Aquarium Exhibit
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*Walks into the armory while dragging an improbably oversized sack on a grav pallet. The sack appears to mutter to itself in a disgruntled fashion.*

Hello. I gathered that I should report here first thing for my forum weapon. I respectfully request...

*Pulls a massive roll of paper out of one pocket and unfurls it, running a finger down all 10 feet of items listed. Stops at the final item.*

...An utterly mundane weapon, of good workmanship and utilitarian design.

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Proud wielder of The Utterly Mundane Godendag With Which He is Improbably Skilled.


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 Post subject: Re: what's your weapon?
PostPosted: Tue Jan 31, 2017 12:08 am 
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[REDACTED] wrote:
*Walks into the armory while dragging an improbably oversized sack on a grav pallet. The sack appears to mutter to itself in a disgruntled fashion.*

Hello. I gathered that I should report here first thing for my forum weapon. I respectfully request...

*Pulls a massive roll of paper out of one pocket and unfurls it, running a finger down all 10 feet of items listed. Stops at the final item.*

...An utterly mundane weapon, of good workmanship and utilitarian design.

Utterly mundane? *sigh* OK, if I have to--but I have to tell you, it breaks my heart to have to give you something mundane.

So we're gonna get a bit of a history lesson here.

Image

This is a reconstructed Flemish Godendag. They were first used in the Franco-Flemish War in the 1300s, and I think you'll find that it fulfills your requirements.

Now, I'll warn you--you have to get right up into hand-to-hand range with this baby. It's too heavy and unbalanced to throw, but it will work for melee. And this way, you can always give your enemies a "Good Day."

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I used to be Junius Gallio, until I messed up retyping my password in the Great Password Reset. Nice to be back.

" I gotta stop doing mathematics while sober."


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 Post subject: Re: what's your weapon?
PostPosted: Tue Jan 31, 2017 12:36 am 
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Aquarium Exhibit
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Joined: Mon Jan 30, 2017 11:18 pm
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Thank you, kind sir!

*[REDACTED] bows deeply, then opens the improbably large sack and brandishes The Utterly Mundane Godendag fiercely. A Command Voice within the sack yells "ACTION!"*

HAKKAA PÄÄLLE!

*A large tentacle snaps out and wraps around [REDACTED]s neck, dragging him violently into the unknown. The sack closes behind him. Intermittent fighting is heard. After 30 seconds [REDACTED] is spat onto the floor, wearing a totally different outfit and a 9 month beard.*

I... Don't recommend using a... *wheeze*... Training and Combat Montage... Ever. I was warned, and did not listen.

On the upside, I can now fiercely brandish The Utterly Mundane Godendag With Which I am Improbably Skilled! On the downside (maybe), that Montage was single use.

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Proud wielder of The Utterly Mundane Godendag With Which He is Improbably Skilled.


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 Post subject: Re: what's your weapon?
PostPosted: Tue Jan 31, 2017 8:30 am 
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[REDACTED] wrote:
Thank you, kind sir!

*[REDACTED] bows deeply, then opens the improbably large sack and brandishes The Utterly Mundane Godendag fiercely. A Command Voice within the sack yells "ACTION!"*

HAKKAA PÄÄLLE!

*A large tentacle snaps out and wraps around [REDACTED]s neck, dragging him violently into the unknown. The sack closes behind him. Intermittent fighting is heard. After 30 seconds [REDACTED] is spat onto the floor, wearing a totally different outfit and a 9 month beard.*

I... Don't recommend using a... *wheeze*... Training and Combat Montage... Ever. I was warned, and did not listen.

On the upside, I can now fiercely brandish The Utterly Mundane Godendag With Which I am Improbably Skilled! On the downside (maybe), that Montage was single use.

Nicely done, but I've never seen a single-use Montage with tentacles before. Must be a new feature with this year's models....

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I used to be Junius Gallio, until I messed up retyping my password in the Great Password Reset. Nice to be back.

" I gotta stop doing mathematics while sober."


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 Post subject: Re: what's your weapon?
PostPosted: Fri Feb 03, 2017 1:04 pm 
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Reptile House Exhibit
Reptile House Exhibit

Joined: Tue Aug 26, 2014 1:53 pm
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Hmm ... 9 months of training at once, so it's either a hyperbolic time chamber or a police box with a functioning chameleon circuit. Tentacles, so whoever is inside is using additional help. Has anyone seen Schlock? ... hmm, if it's a police box, has anyone seen Schlock the first?

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I hope Para never plays with Tenzy. The result would be terrifying.
Para and Petey need to have some dialog together. Just because.


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 Post subject: Re: what's your weapon?
PostPosted: Sun Feb 05, 2017 2:16 pm 
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Aquarium Exhibit
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Joined: Mon Jan 30, 2017 11:18 pm
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It's a variable-geometry pocket dimension prototype. You can compress it to speed time up, or inflate it to slow time down. The experimental feature on this one is the "Klein Bagel" setting. It doesn't really *stop* time, it just forces it into a wierd loop the size of a krispy kreme.

The rest of the improbably oversized sack is filled with the support rig and power source. General Neutronics never managed to place the power source inside this version. When I asked, the guy I bought this one from muttered something about "Localized reality distortions extending beyond the manifold". Then he slammed the backdoor of the General Neutronics test site shut and I heard him screaming "WE DUMPED IT GUYS! MAKE UP A DISASTER! FRED! WHERE'S MY FULLERENED ANTIMATTER?!"

As for the tentacle? It belonged to The Correiakin. I hired him as a technical advisor and weapons trainer. Dude is harsh, but effective.

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Proud wielder of The Utterly Mundane Godendag With Which He is Improbably Skilled.


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 Post subject: Re: what's your weapon?
PostPosted: Mon Feb 06, 2017 12:15 pm 
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Reptile House Exhibit
Reptile House Exhibit

Joined: Tue Aug 26, 2014 1:53 pm
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Hmm, 9 months at a time?

(grabs full set of wheel of time)

"Hey, tentacle, give me a lift please?"

(disappears into the void)
...
(re-appears)

"hmm, still got one more book to read."

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I hope Para never plays with Tenzy. The result would be terrifying.
Para and Petey need to have some dialog together. Just because.


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 Post subject: Re: what's your weapon?
PostPosted: Sat Apr 01, 2017 3:43 pm 
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Aquarium Exhibit
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A lone drone with a mounted quasar cannon floats alone among the silliness of the armory. Its operator watches through the array of optics and chuckles at the thought of what is transpiring.

The drone then starts to wander around to see what else is in the armory.

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Has a drone which is in possession of a Quasar Cannon. I sense shenanigans.


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 Post subject: Re: what's your weapon?
PostPosted: Tue Apr 04, 2017 3:28 am 
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Aquarium Exhibit
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Toilet plunger of course! :lol:

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Футболни врати


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 Post subject: Re: what's your weapon?
PostPosted: Sun Apr 09, 2017 8:14 pm 
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Safari Exhibit
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*casts a view into the armory*

Hmmm... nothing seems to be out of the ordinary. Bin after bin of ordnance, stalls with vehicles, a few cats wandering around with tool belts and hard hats... uh-oh...

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The difference between theory and practice is that theories seldom involve people screaming in terror.

Forum weapon: the humble Northern Pikestaff
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 Post subject: Re: what's your weapon?
PostPosted: Mon Apr 10, 2017 1:09 am 
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Stanistani wrote:
*casts a view into the armory*

Hmmm... nothing seems to be out of the ordinary. Bin after bin of ordnance, stalls with vehicles, a few cats wandering around with tool belts and hard hats... uh-oh...

*sigh* Cats again?

_________________
I used to be Junius Gallio, until I messed up retyping my password in the Great Password Reset. Nice to be back.

" I gotta stop doing mathematics while sober."


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 Post subject: Re: what's your weapon?
PostPosted: Mon Apr 10, 2017 12:55 pm 
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Janitor
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Black Sheep wrote:
Stanistani wrote:
*casts a view into the armory*

Hmmm... nothing seems to be out of the ordinary. Bin after bin of ordnance, stalls with vehicles, a few cats wandering around with tool belts and hard hats... uh-oh...

*sigh* Cats again?

I'm pretty sure that at this point it's cats all the way down.


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 Post subject: Re: what's your weapon?
PostPosted: Mon Apr 10, 2017 2:09 pm 
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evileeyore wrote:
Black Sheep wrote:
Stanistani wrote:
*casts a view into the armory*

Hmmm... nothing seems to be out of the ordinary. Bin after bin of ordnance, stalls with vehicles, a few cats wandering around with tool belts and hard hats... uh-oh...

*sigh* Cats again?

I'm pretty sure that at this point it's cats all the way down.

So ... nuke it from orbit, or resign ourselves to our inevitable feline overlords?

_________________
I used to be Junius Gallio, until I messed up retyping my password in the Great Password Reset. Nice to be back.

" I gotta stop doing mathematics while sober."


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 Post subject: Re: what's your weapon?
PostPosted: Wed Apr 12, 2017 7:31 pm 
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Safari Exhibit
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It's vital to find out what they're up to.
*astralprojects into armory*
"Hey there! You with the clipboard! What's going on here?"
"Maow."
Hmm. Well, there you have it.
*returns to his own plane of existence*

_________________
The difference between theory and practice is that theories seldom involve people screaming in terror.

Forum weapon: the humble Northern Pikestaff
Image


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 Post subject: Re: what's your weapon?
PostPosted: Thu Apr 13, 2017 1:10 am 
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Stanistani wrote:
It's vital to find out what they're up to.
*astralprojects into armory*
"Hey there! You with the clipboard! What's going on here?"
"Maow."
Hmm. Well, there you have it.
*returns to his own plane of existence*

Wait, if they can operate clipboards... that means they can operate can openers!

They no longer have a use for us outside of cat box cleaning detail. I weep for humanity.


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 Post subject: Re: what's your weapon?
PostPosted: Wed Apr 26, 2017 8:12 pm 
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In Chekhov's Armory ...

(•_•)
( •_•)>⌐■-■
(⌐■_■)

litter box scoops you.

_________________
I used to be Junius Gallio, until I messed up retyping my password in the Great Password Reset. Nice to be back.

" I gotta stop doing mathematics while sober."


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