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 Post subject: Re: what's your weapon?
PostPosted: Tue Feb 06, 2018 9:44 pm 
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A reminder that I do not own a Long Gun.

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 Post subject: Re: what's your weapon?
PostPosted: Fri Feb 09, 2018 3:36 pm 
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Stanistani wrote:
A reminder that I do not own a Long Gun.

Apparently the kittens have distracted most of the armorers around here. Guess I'll have to help out here.

*enters Evileyore's password into the inventory node*

Aha, here's a LONG gun. The Lego Optimal Nut Gouger gun projects a wooden foot, optionally covered with a suitable boot, several feet on a concertina-style frame into the most humorous anatomy target. Sounds suitable.

*enters Stanistani's password and ships the LONG gun to his private storage area*

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 Post subject: Re: what's your weapon?
PostPosted: Sat Feb 10, 2018 2:39 am 
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Stanistani, you already have the simple Pikestaff (Ishidan brand at that). No need to get greedy.


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 Post subject: Re: what's your weapon?
PostPosted: Mon Feb 12, 2018 3:26 am 
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Stanistani wrote:
A reminder that I do not own a Long Gun.

Yes, I am not looking for a new weapon. I am declaring that I do not possess a Long gun.

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 Post subject: Re: what's your weapon?
PostPosted: Tue Mar 13, 2018 6:42 pm 
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Ummm - hello? I was told to report here to be issued a weapon?

No rush, I assure you, I am not completely defenseless - I possess an evil laugh that could make Palpatine break into a cold sweat... :wink:

I also own four cats. (Or do they own me? Hmmm...)


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 Post subject: Re: what's your weapon?
PostPosted: Wed Mar 14, 2018 6:39 am 
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Ynkstayned wrote:
Ummm - hello? I was told to report here to be issued a weapon?

No rush, I assure you, I am not completely defenseless - I possess an evil laugh that could make Palpatine break into a cold sweat... :wink:

I also own four cats. (Or do they own me? Hmmm...)

I can offer you the White Cat Lap Deployer or the Stung Grenade.

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 Post subject: Re: what's your weapon?
PostPosted: Wed Mar 14, 2018 3:44 pm 
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Stanistani wrote:
Ynkstayned wrote:
Ummm - hello? I was told to report here to be issued a weapon?

No rush, I assure you, I am not completely defenseless - I possess an evil laugh that could make Palpatine break into a cold sweat... :wink:

I also own four cats. (Or do they own me? Hmmm...)

I can offer you the White Cat Lap Deployer or the Stung Grenade.
CUT.

*throws script to the ground and jumps out of the director's chair*

No, no, no. If I'd wanted a bored phoned in performance, I would have hired Keanu or Seagal. Ynkstayned, grab an espresso or two, you could do with being a little bit more twitchy, but you're pulling Evil Overlord off just fine.

Stani, you're supposed to be selling this budding galactic dictator the image of purest Bond villain. He needs to see himself sitting in a vast leather chair, swinging slowly around to face his groveling minions, the White Cat Lap Deployer gently depositing an adult feline of purest whiter-than-white in the precise position for his stroking hand to align with the head. You have to detail how the Deployer maintains a purring stack of ten cats in a side-loading magazine, so he is never about to punctuate a speech with a strategic petting only to discover the cat has wander off to occupy the litter box.

*picks up the script and stalks off next to Evileeyore on the camera crane*

Okay, once more. From the top. ACTION.

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 Post subject: Re: what's your weapon?
PostPosted: Wed Mar 14, 2018 10:42 pm 
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Bruce the Loon wrote:
Stanistani wrote:
Ynkstayned wrote:
Ummm - hello? I was told to report here to be issued a weapon?

No rush, I assure you, I am not completely defenseless - I possess an evil laugh that could make Palpatine break into a cold sweat... :wink:

I also own four cats. (Or do they own me? Hmmm...)

I can offer you the White Cat Lap Deployer or the Stung Grenade.
CUT.

*throws script to the ground and jumps out of the director's chair*

No, no, no. If I'd wanted a bored phoned in performance, I would have hired Keanu or Seagal. Ynkstayned, grab an espresso or two, you could do with being a little bit more twitchy, but you're pulling Evil Overlord off just fine.

Stani, you're supposed to be selling this budding galactic dictator the image of purest Bond villain. He needs to see himself sitting in a vast leather chair, swinging slowly around to face his groveling minions, the White Cat Lap Deployer gently depositing an adult feline of purest whiter-than-white in the precise position for his stroking hand to align with the head. You have to detail how the Deployer maintains a purring stack of ten cats in a side-loading magazine, so he is never about to punctuate a speech with a strategic petting only to discover the cat has wander off to occupy the litter box.

*picks up the script and stalks off next to Evileeyore on the camera crane*

Okay, once more. From the top. ACTION.

Dang, you sat on the Stung Grenade.

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 Post subject: Re: what's your weapon?
PostPosted: Wed Mar 21, 2018 9:38 am 
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Bruce the Loon wrote:
Stanistani wrote:
I can offer you the White Cat Lap Deployer or the Stung Grenade.
CUT.

*throws script to the ground and jumps out of the director's chair*

No, no, no. If I'd wanted a bored phoned in performance, I would have hired Keanu or Seagal. Ynkstayned, grab an espresso or two, you could do with being a little bit more twitchy, but you're pulling Evil Overlord off just fine.

Stani, you're supposed to be selling this budding galactic dictator the image of purest Bond villain. He needs to see himself sitting in a vast leather chair, swinging slowly around to face his groveling minions, the White Cat Lap Deployer gently depositing an adult feline of purest whiter-than-white in the precise position for his stroking hand to align with the head. You have to detail how the Deployer maintains a purring stack of ten cats in a side-loading magazine, so he is never about to punctuate a speech with a strategic petting only to discover the cat has wander off to occupy the litter box.

*picks up the script and stalks off next to Evileeyore on the camera crane*

Okay, once more. From the top. ACTION.


Ah, I get a choice? Sweet! Let's see - I'll take the - White Cat Lap Deployer... do you mind if I test it first?

*Haughty white Persian automatically deposited smoothly into place*
*Swivels chair to fix cringing minions with basilisk stare*

...Who is responsible for this pitiful excuse of an espresso?! If the spoon doesn't whimper when I put it in the cup, it's not strong enough!! Fire the barista! - no, on second thought, have him report to the torture chamber...

...Yes, this will do nicely...

...Is there an option to equip these cats with Stung grenades?


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 Post subject: Re: what's your weapon?
PostPosted: Sun Mar 25, 2018 3:52 am 
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Ynkstayned wrote:
Bruce the Loon wrote:
Stanistani wrote:
I can offer you the White Cat Lap Deployer or the Stung Grenade.
CUT.

*throws script to the ground and jumps out of the director's chair*

No, no, no. If I'd wanted a bored phoned in performance, I would have hired Keanu or Seagal. Ynkstayned, grab an espresso or two, you could do with being a little bit more twitchy, but you're pulling Evil Overlord off just fine.

Stani, you're supposed to be selling this budding galactic dictator the image of purest Bond villain. He needs to see himself sitting in a vast leather chair, swinging slowly around to face his groveling minions, the White Cat Lap Deployer gently depositing an adult feline of purest whiter-than-white in the precise position for his stroking hand to align with the head. You have to detail how the Deployer maintains a purring stack of ten cats in a side-loading magazine, so he is never about to punctuate a speech with a strategic petting only to discover the cat has wander off to occupy the litter box.

*picks up the script and stalks off next to Evileeyore on the camera crane*

Okay, once more. From the top. ACTION.


Ah, I get a choice? Sweet! Let's see - I'll take the - White Cat Lap Deployer... do you mind if I test it first?

*Haughty white Persian automatically deposited smoothly into place*
*Swivels chair to fix cringing minions with basilisk stare*

...Who is responsible for this pitiful excuse of an espresso?! If the spoon doesn't whimper when I put it in the cup, it's not strong enough!! Fire the barista! - no, on second thought, have him report to the torture chamber...

...Yes, this will do nicely...

...Is there an option to equip these cats with Stung grenades?

There are two limitations of the White Cat Lap Deployer...
  • Reloading is somewhat complicated, and if not done properly cats will be deployed in Clawful Fury mode.
  • There is a known issue where sometimes you will be deployed under the cat's haunches and they will be in charge instead.

The Stung Grenade Launcher has been recalled due to cases of accidental discharge. The discharge is sticky and difficult to clean up.

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 Post subject: Re: what's your weapon?
PostPosted: Wed Apr 04, 2018 11:16 am 
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Stanistani wrote:
Ynkstayned wrote:

Ah, I get a choice? Sweet! Let's see - I'll take the - White Cat Lap Deployer... do you mind if I test it first?

*Haughty white Persian automatically deposited smoothly into place*
*Swivels chair to fix cringing minions with basilisk stare*

...Who is responsible for this pitiful excuse of an espresso?! If the spoon doesn't whimper when I put it in the cup, it's not strong enough!! Fire the barista! - no, on second thought, have him report to the torture chamber...

...Yes, this will do nicely...

...Is there an option to equip these cats with Stung grenades?

There are two limitations of the White Cat Lap Deployer...
  • Reloading is somewhat complicated, and if not done properly cats will be deployed in Clawful Fury mode.
  • There is a known issue where sometimes you will be deployed under the cat's haunches and they will be in charge instead.

The Stung Grenade Launcher has been recalled due to cases of accidental discharge. The discharge is sticky and difficult to clean up.


Ah. Note to self:-
Reinforced Kevlar long johns are mandatory when White Cat Lap Deployer is in use.
Regarding the "cats in charge" - well, situation normal...

(About the problem with the Stung Grenade - isn't there a successful remedy for Premature Discharge?)


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 Post subject: Re: what's your weapon?
PostPosted: Wed Apr 11, 2018 6:03 am 
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Ynkstayned wrote:
Stanistani wrote:
Ynkstayned wrote:

Ah, I get a choice? Sweet! Let's see - I'll take the - White Cat Lap Deployer... do you mind if I test it first?

*Haughty white Persian automatically deposited smoothly into place*
*Swivels chair to fix cringing minions with basilisk stare*

...Who is responsible for this pitiful excuse of an espresso?! If the spoon doesn't whimper when I put it in the cup, it's not strong enough!! Fire the barista! - no, on second thought, have him report to the torture chamber...

...Yes, this will do nicely...

...Is there an option to equip these cats with Stung grenades?

There are two limitations of the White Cat Lap Deployer...
  • Reloading is somewhat complicated, and if not done properly cats will be deployed in Clawful Fury mode.
  • There is a known issue where sometimes you will be deployed under the cat's haunches and they will be in charge instead.

The Stung Grenade Launcher has been recalled due to cases of accidental discharge. The discharge is sticky and difficult to clean up.


Ah. Note to self:-
Reinforced Kevlar long johns are mandatory when White Cat Lap Deployer is in use.
Regarding the "cats in charge" - well, situation normal...

(About the problem with the Stung Grenade - isn't there a successful remedy for Premature Discharge?)

Instead of working on the Stung Grenade, our Wapontake Corp (More Bang for your Yuck) techs released a self-defense patch for the White Cat Lap Deployer: Owner can mutter the code phrase "Hey Rube!" and all loaded cats will deploy forward of the owner at once in Clawful Fury mode. The owner is advised to cower behind the swivel chair.

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 Post subject: Re: what's your weapon?
PostPosted: Fri Apr 20, 2018 7:59 pm 
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Stanistani wrote:
Ynkstayned wrote:
Stanistani wrote:
There are two limitations of the White Cat Lap Deployer...
  • Reloading is somewhat complicated, and if not done properly cats will be deployed in Clawful Fury mode.
  • There is a known issue where sometimes you will be deployed under the cat's haunches and they will be in charge instead.

The Stung Grenade Launcher has been recalled due to cases of accidental discharge. The discharge is sticky and difficult to clean up.


Ah. Note to self:-
Reinforced Kevlar long johns are mandatory when White Cat Lap Deployer is in use.
Regarding the "cats in charge" - well, situation normal...

(About the problem with the Stung Grenade - isn't there a successful remedy for Premature Discharge?)

Instead of working on the Stung Grenade, our Wapontake Corp (More Bang for your Yuck) techs released a self-defense patch for the White Cat Lap Deployer: Owner can mutter the code phrase "Hey Rube!" and all loaded cats will deploy forward of the owner at once in Clawful Fury mode. The owner is advised to cower behind the swivel chair.


Excellent - excellent! - this will do perfectly...Mwahahahaha!!...
....
(Excuse me - I had to take my medication - my physician has advised me to avoid prolonged evil laughter...)
...
One last question - does the White Cat Lap Deployer come pre-loaded or do I have to supply my own cats? I have no problem with the latter, but I would need to know the caliber - for instance, fat-and-fluffy or small-and-apparently-helpless or 20-pound-behemoths?...

Also, can I mod it to deploy ocelots?


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 Post subject: Re: what's your weapon?
PostPosted: Sat Apr 21, 2018 4:50 am 
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Stanistani wrote:
There are two limitations of the White Cat Lap Deployer...
  • Reloading is somewhat complicated, and if not done properly cats will be deployed in Clawful Fury mode.
  • There is a known issue where sometimes you will be deployed under the cat's haunches and they will be in charge instead.

The Stung Grenade Launcher has been recalled due to cases of accidental discharge. The discharge is sticky and difficult to clean up.

Ynkstayned wrote:
Ah. Note to self:-
Reinforced Kevlar long johns are mandatory when White Cat Lap Deployer is in use.
Regarding the "cats in charge" - well, situation normal...

(About the problem with the Stung Grenade - isn't there a successful remedy for Premature Discharge?)

Stanistani wrote:
Instead of working on the Stung Grenade, our Wapontake Corp (More Bang for your Yuck) techs released a self-defense patch for the White Cat Lap Deployer: Owner can mutter the code phrase "Hey Rube!" and all loaded cats will deploy forward of the owner at once in Clawful Fury mode. The owner is advised to cower behind the swivel chair.

Ynkstayned wrote:
Excellent - excellent! - this will do perfectly...Mwahahahaha!!...
....
(Excuse me - I had to take my medication - my physician has advised me to avoid prolonged evil laughter...)
...
One last question - does the White Cat Lap Deployer come pre-loaded or do I have to supply my own cats? I have no problem with the latter, but I would need to know the caliber - for instance, fat-and-fluffy or small-and-apparently-helpless or 20-pound-behemoths?...

Also, can I mod it to deploy ocelots?

Stanistani wrote:
The White Cat Lap Deployer comes with one full load of White Persians (with nanite sleep and fighting mods) each capable of skeletonizing a full-grown water buffalo in 12 seconds. We advise you recover deployed cats, pet them carefully, and return them to the intake aperture. Replacement cats can be purchased from Wapontake (Fatal to Targets but Rarely for Paid Customers) at a reasonable cost. Modification of your Deployer will void the warranty and may be fatal to the modifier.

Your White Cat Lap Deployer also comes with one crate (check inside the utility area) of Fiendish Feast (144 cans) which is the preferred dietary component for the white Persians. Use of other nutritional sources may result in your hideous demise. Purchase of more Fiendish Feast product can be purchased from Wapontake (Our Engineers are kept on a Methedrine Drip) at a reasonable cost.

{Note: the comments don't seem to like more than three nested quotes, so I broke them out}

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 Post subject: Re: what's your weapon?
PostPosted: Wed May 02, 2018 12:09 pm 
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After all this universe shifting I have picked up a few odds and ends.
Lets see a now, a laser pistol with a violet barrel painted dark red ... well I think its paint. I hope its paint. Needs a computer approved power module.
One Black Travelers Club membership card. Not sure if its valid out here.
One silvery yet living-flesh-like prosthetic arm [creepy factor 12] with an x-ray laser built in [+2 magic] medium range but horrendously low accuracy unless you can see into the x-ray spectrum.
One shielded combat e-vac suit with field portable meson canon [as safe as a claymore when deployed] misplaced the battery
Oh wait here it is ... oh there is a hole in the bottom .... looks like the containment field failed and it fell out .... I hope it wasn't on this planet.

Anyway - got any batteries? :mrgreen:


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 Post subject: Re: what's your weapon?
PostPosted: Wed May 02, 2018 2:45 pm 
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Thrudd wrote:
After all this universe shifting I have picked up a few odds and ends.

You'd made two copies of this post - sorry about the moderation delay - so I approved the newer one and deleted the older one.

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 Post subject: Re: what's your weapon?
PostPosted: Sun May 13, 2018 10:36 pm 
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Thrudd wrote:
After all this universe shifting I have picked up a few odds and ends.
Lets see a now, a laser pistol with a violet barrel painted dark red ... well I think its paint. I hope its paint. Needs a computer approved power module.
One Black Travelers Club membership card. Not sure if its valid out here.
One silvery yet living-flesh-like prosthetic arm [creepy factor 12] with an x-ray laser built in [+2 magic] medium range but horrendously low accuracy unless you can see into the x-ray spectrum.
One shielded combat e-vac suit with field portable meson canon [as safe as a claymore when deployed] misplaced the battery
Oh wait here it is ... oh there is a hole in the bottom .... looks like the containment field failed and it fell out .... I hope it wasn't on this planet.

Anyway - got any batteries? :mrgreen:

So you need a battery?

As per its contract with SM Forum Inc., Wapentake Corp (All products guaranteed until primary owner is dead) will replace one (1) energy supply component for new form members who apply to this area. *humming sound*

Please step back from the meson cannon...

We are installing a subspace-packed particle accelerator and a 45-centimeter annihilation device into the weapon.

⚡FRATZ⚡

Oh. Well, another fine job by our weapon techs.

The background radiation from the installation will only take 970 years to subside to a level where you can don the suit.

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 Post subject: Re: what's your weapon?
PostPosted: Wed May 16, 2018 11:54 pm 
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R&D seems to have given you quite a few things to go along with the standard laser pistol (red barrel).

Be sure to fill out the report forms that you were given describing how effective they are in combat. Naturally the computer gave you these forms.

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 Post subject: Re: what's your weapon?
PostPosted: Thu May 17, 2018 12:40 am 
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keybounce wrote:
Naturally the computer gave you these forms.

You mean catputer, yes?


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 Post subject: Re: what's your weapon?
PostPosted: Fri May 25, 2018 4:38 am 
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Hovering about my drone wanders through the armory stopping every so often to scan some boxes or other weapons and comparing it to whats been attached to its frame. A simple message pops up announcing 'Could someone take a look at the mounting ring on my drone and possibly make it better. Im worried that a stray shot would knock off the mount and the weapon.'

After the message ends the drone not stopping to wait continues to wander about, scanning more things and comparing them.

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 Post subject: Re: what's your weapon?
PostPosted: Fri May 25, 2018 4:41 pm 
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Oy, that's a simple solution, just don't make any stray shots.


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 Post subject: Re: what's your weapon?
PostPosted: Fri Jun 29, 2018 10:09 am 
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Login: Alpha delta mu iota nu
Password: Rho alpa sigma sigma phi omicron rho delta

File update: Rho alpha rho nu omicron iota alpha
"Attention, citizens: catching fire and running around in circles is NOT a Computer-approved recreational activity."
"Please refrain from smoking when terminated."
** Commie sympathizer had somehow acquired a violet clearance laser barrel and had painted it red using a heme based pigment

File Update: Tau rho alpha phi epsilon lambda lambda epsilon rho
** Member has left jurisdiction and can no longer avail themselves of membership privileges until their return
** File update:Combat vac suits that are Shielded can be used for solar diving, though the practice is discouraged.
** Military equipment uses standard power connectors. Jury rigging them to ancients tech black hole batteries is strongly discouraged due to the excessive power draws causing failure of the containment field generator.
** Location of misplaced black hole determined to be the former fifth planet in the sol system.

File Update: Lambda omicron rho delta sigma - omicron zeta - Gamma rho eta alpha theta iota omicron nu
** Who thought it was that thought that it was a good idea to have the masters of war-gaming in Avalon produce a universal role-play system?
** Lets just lock this away before the evil empire [HASBRO] catches wind of this

Logout?: Yes
Session Terminated


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