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 Post subject: what's your weapon?
PostPosted: Sat Jun 04, 2005 12:52 am 
I was given one of those nice variable grenades, and have been modifying it to go clear up to 20. its nice to have while playing D&D, since the DM has stopped asking me to roll dice, since i can roll whatever i want...that, or because i keep trying to roll it under his chair.....


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 Post subject:
PostPosted: Sat Jun 04, 2005 1:00 am 
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Location: Finland, Kuopio, in front of the computer
a sharp pointy stick
Futuremerc's dried up brain
and
a gun i got from Jeremy so that i might shoot myself (i missed :roll: )


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 Post subject:
PostPosted: Sat Jun 04, 2005 1:01 am 
nyysjan wrote:
a sharp pointy stick
Futuremerc's dried up brain
and
a gun i got from Jeremy so that i might shoot myself (i missed :roll: )
I guess missing would explain why you have someone else's brain..


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 Post subject:
PostPosted: Sat Jun 04, 2005 2:52 am 
Toilet plunger


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 Post subject:
PostPosted: Sat Jun 04, 2005 3:17 am 
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This...

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I shall now be known as Wolfie, bearer of the Mohawk of Doom and Non-frizziness!

*cue evil laugh*


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 Post subject:
PostPosted: Sat Jun 04, 2005 3:31 am 
Over on the Keenspot forum I was given a potato gun with a wide variety of genetically engineered potatoes, including high explosive and goober rounds.

I was also given an early prototype Teraport.


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 Post subject:
PostPosted: Sat Jun 04, 2005 6:17 am 
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I was given a test grenade, which I exchanged for a Magic Sleep Gun.

Nyysjan is lying. I lent him the gun, and he shot himself with a stunner. I then retrieved it.


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 Post subject:
PostPosted: Sat Jun 04, 2005 8:56 am 
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A flake of rock from the highest point in connecticut. It generates really sharp puns. Rock sharp, you might say.

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It's the real me, I swear!


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 Post subject:
PostPosted: Sat Jun 04, 2005 9:44 am 
A stylish semtex belt


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 Post subject:
PostPosted: Sat Jun 04, 2005 12:10 pm 
I have armed myself with the full unbrideled power of my very own webcomic...

It will eventually come to include the following offensive measures:

- linear cannons that shoot kumquats

- vats of whipped cream for dipping people

- bongblades (no, you dont want to know)


and much much more...


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 Post subject:
PostPosted: Sat Jun 04, 2005 12:20 pm 
I've got an orbital lance (It's in the UV spectrum, so most of its output is absorbed by air) that's mine. I use it to give people skin cancer and keep myself tan for the chicks. (hopefully without giving myself skin cancer)
Of course it is much harder to use without a brain.


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 Post subject:
PostPosted: Sat Jun 04, 2005 12:22 pm 
I've got myself a backpack mounted molten aluminum sprayer, which I am hoping to convert into a backpack mounted Sloppy Joe Fixin's sprayer sometime in the near future; it's not as deadly, but the psychological effects of such a thing are far more insidious.


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 Post subject:
PostPosted: Sat Jun 04, 2005 1:53 pm 
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Kizor wrote:
I was given a test grenade, which I exchanged for a Magic Sleep Gun.

Nyysjan is lying. I lent him the gun, and he shot himself with a stunner. I then retrieved it.


Then who's gun do am i holding :?: :?: :?: :?: :?: :?: :?: 8O


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 Post subject:
PostPosted: Sat Jun 04, 2005 1:53 pm 
Tent Peg of Homosexuality +5

(Thanks for that one, Atalanta!)


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 Post subject:
PostPosted: Sat Jun 04, 2005 2:01 pm 
A Dorothy system designed for an adult ice kreely. (I am inordinately fond of the Dorothy system and was much pleased to receive this.)


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 Post subject: Re: what's your weapon?
PostPosted: Sat Jun 04, 2005 3:41 pm 
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firedragongt wrote:
I was given one of those nice variable grenades, and have been modifying it to go clear up to 20. its nice to have while playing D&D, since the DM has stopped asking me to roll dice, since i can roll whatever i want...that, or because i keep trying to roll it under his chair.....


I've had 40-odd posts here over the past six months, and they've never issued me a weapon... *ahem* *coughcough*


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 Post subject: Re: what's your weapon?
PostPosted: Sat Jun 04, 2005 3:56 pm 
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stanmuffin wrote:
I've had 40-odd posts here over the past six months, and they've never issued me a weapon... *ahem* *coughcough*


Don't feel badly. I have ~300 posts here over the last three years, and I don't believe I was ever issued one.


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 Post subject: Re: what's your weapon?
PostPosted: Sat Jun 04, 2005 6:04 pm 
Whitehawke wrote:
Don't feel badly. I have ~300 posts here over the last three years, and I don't believe I was ever issued one.


In the spirit of Stan "The Man", I hereby bestow upon you a No-Weapon.
Now we're equally matched on the duelling field.

Well, in theory. :wink:


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 Post subject:
PostPosted: Sat Jun 04, 2005 7:08 pm 
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I complained about being unarmed, and thus was issued a Jedi's severed arm. Talk about being careful what you wish for...


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 Post subject:
PostPosted: Sat Jun 04, 2005 8:02 pm 
would that be an arm severed by a jedi or an arm formerly part of a jedi?


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 Post subject:
PostPosted: Sat Jun 04, 2005 8:33 pm 
I believe I can augment your weapon using my own fearsome and dangerous PUNNING CLAN. First, you will need to check the blood type of your jedi's arm. It will, by sheer coincidence, (or perhaps your quartermaster's dilligence) be the same as your own. The next part for my clan is to remove the marrow from the arm (I'm sure they got the whole arm, so there should be some in there) and clone it. (At this point, freeze the arm in carbonite in case you need it again later.) The clan will then merrily replace your marrow with the cloned jedi marrow. (since we know that midichlorians [sic] are found in the blood, it stands to reason that they are in red blood cells and therefore marrow as well.)

Now you wait. Build up a goodly high midichlorian infused red cell count. The next step requires a retrovirus. Probably wouldn't be a bad idea to make a gate copy of yourself. Program the virus to reproduce if it finds itself in a red cell, attaching to midichlorians in the process, if it finds itself in a regular cell, deposit any midis and die. Also, the clan is to make the virus highly susceptible to say glucose levels or something, so you can kill it off if it's working too quickly or you're ready to try out your new powers.

The clan is the only weapon capable of accomplishing this feat as it stretches bad puns to the limit. (program a virus...mwa ha ha)

Hmm.. this should've been funnier. Oh well, the punning clan is probably too powerful a weapon for a newbie such as myself. Hopefully I won't destroy too many in my attempts to use it as a force for.. uh.. good..:roll:

Final step: find some weak willed jedi (such as "the chosen one") and mind-trick him into giving you his lightsaber. You can become as powerful as you want since the retrovirus increases your midichlorian count over time. Oh and if you go dark, please don't hurt me.


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 Post subject:
PostPosted: Sat Jun 04, 2005 9:36 pm 
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zippthorne wrote:
would that be an arm severed by a jedi or an arm formerly part of a jedi?


Both at the same time. There was a lot of that going on, you know.

Hmm, imagine Jedi-ing up the "Bride vs. Crazy 88" scene from Kill Bill. The hell with Hanzo steel.


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 Post subject:
PostPosted: Sat Jun 04, 2005 10:00 pm 
I received a weapon that makes other weapons. 8-)


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 Post subject:
PostPosted: Sat Jun 04, 2005 11:03 pm 
I'd rather have Hanzo steel than a useless lightsaber. F cauterizing the stumps. A crippled woman with no force sensitivity who'd been sleeping for five years killed over a hundred henchmen with hanzo steel. what good is a lightsaber to supposed clairvoyant masters? Can't even see a clone trooper aiming at your back or cut through a simple double reinforced armored door. Hanzo steel would've cut through that door.


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PostPosted: Sun Jun 05, 2005 12:40 am 
Geez, you step outside for a donut and a cup of coffee and you get no end of grief.

All right, we here at the Armory would be happy to issue you weapons. Unfortunately, what we have are some rather esoteric designs, since we do get our weapons from the lowest bidder, and IRREGULAR still manages to win out every time.

We have for your viewing pleasure:

The dreaded 30 inch sniper rifle: Has been known to swat orbital lances from the sky.

The especially dreaded 45 caliber pistol: Made by the same manufacturer, it is concealable in a jacket, airport security will miss it a guaranteed four times out of five, and be used to literally shoot tax assessors.

The Colt 45 Automatic: Fires hypervelocity cans of Malt Liquor at targets. It is an Automatic, however, so you don't have to shift gears. Just watch out for reverse.

The Dobie-Matic: Fires dobermans at the target. Low penetration, but excellent for intimidation. The dobies tend to get hungry, but don't worry about it. The ammo is definitely belt-fed.

The Fire Hose: Not your standard firefighting gear, but excellent way to start a barbecue. Nozzle adjust from a fine mist to a stream. This is why firefighting equipment on board is labelled differently.

The RhinoVirus: Nasty weapon, proscribed in most star systems. Gives a victim the nastiest head cold imaginable, where the results are not pretty. I mean, no one has survived sneezing out a rhino yet.

Monomolecular brand cheddar: Sharp enough to cut your head clean off.

All this and other weapons are now available. Just try not to knock over the can of buckyballs again. We're still slipping over that patch of deck.


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 Post subject:
PostPosted: Sun Jun 05, 2005 1:57 am 
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nyysjan wrote:
Then who's gun do am i holding :?: :?: :?: :?: :?: :?: :?: 8O



....EW! 8O


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 Post subject:
PostPosted: Sun Jun 05, 2005 5:45 am 
erm I can't remember if I was ever issued a weapon. Is it possible to search this forum for my earlier post to check?

edit for idiocy. seen the seach button :oops:


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 Post subject:
PostPosted: Sun Jun 05, 2005 7:04 am 
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In light of his inability to hold onto his weapon, i hereby promote Major Teroh to the rank of Jedi.

Congratulations, butterfingers.

_________________
I shall now be known as Wolfie, bearer of the Mohawk of Doom and Non-frizziness!

*cue evil laugh*


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 Post subject:
PostPosted: Sun Jun 05, 2005 12:08 pm 
A cannon to shoot a(u)nts at relativistic velocities.


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 Post subject:
PostPosted: Sun Jun 05, 2005 1:04 pm 
Something that takes too long to reload, but which has a good antique value... when I get my chance at a time share...


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