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 Post subject: Re: what's your weapon?
PostPosted: Mon Mar 14, 2016 4:05 pm 
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Bruce the Loon wrote:
That's ammo, not a weapon. They ship in packs of 30 accompanied by a Mr Potatoe Cannon from D.Quail Inc./quote]
Objection withdrawn.

Quote:
Either that, or it's a kitten egg.

I hope not. But that would be a devious weapon.


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 Post subject: Re: what's your weapon?
PostPosted: Mon Mar 14, 2016 8:11 pm 
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Bruce the Loon wrote:
Either that, or it's a kitten egg.

Not again! We had threats to nuke the armory from orbit with the last kitten scare ... some of the weapons had their feelings hurt.

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 Post subject: Re: what's your weapon?
PostPosted: Tue Mar 15, 2016 4:32 pm 
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Black Sheep wrote:
Not again! We had threats to nuke the armory from orbit with the last kitten scare ... some of the weapons had their feelings hurt.


The low IQ smart bombs in Bay 399? I thought we wrote them off after they voted for Nixon again in the 3012 elections.

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 Post subject: Re: what's your weapon?
PostPosted: Tue Mar 15, 2016 7:53 pm 
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Bruce the Loon wrote:
Black Sheep wrote:
Not again! We had threats to nuke the armory from orbit with the last kitten scare ... some of the weapons had their feelings hurt.


The low IQ smart bombs in Bay 399? I thought we wrote them off after they voted for Nixon again in the 3012 elections.

As long as it's just their feels that are having a meltdown... and not their neutronium cores.


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 Post subject: Re: what's your weapon?
PostPosted: Tue Mar 15, 2016 8:19 pm 
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Bruce the Loon wrote:
Black Sheep wrote:
Not again! We had threats to nuke the armory from orbit with the last kitten scare ... some of the weapons had their feelings hurt.


The low IQ smart bombs in Bay 399? I thought we wrote them off after they voted for Nixon again in the 3012 elections.

Wrote them off? They're still on the inventory....

Um, folks, there's a strong cat-box smell coming from Bay 399.

Folks? Some backup he....[CARRIER DROPPED]

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 Post subject: Re: what's your weapon?
PostPosted: Tue Mar 15, 2016 9:25 pm 
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Black Sheep wrote:
[CARRIER DROPPED]

What is it with you people dropping Carriers all over the place? First AlphaSec, then S.H.I.E.L.D., and now Black Sheep.

And we just got the last ones moved out to the dry-docks.


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 Post subject: Re: what's your weapon?
PostPosted: Tue Mar 15, 2016 10:31 pm 
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>ACHOOOO!<

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" I gotta stop doing mathematics while sober."


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 Post subject: Re: what's your weapon?
PostPosted: Tue Mar 15, 2016 11:15 pm 
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evileeyore wrote:
Black Sheep wrote:
[CARRIER DROPPED]

What is it with you people dropping Carriers all over the place? First AlphaSec, then S.H.I.E.L.D., and now Black Sheep.

And we just got the last ones moved out to the dry-docks.

YOU try to carry your carrier when you're sneezing all over the place.

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 Post subject: Re: what's your weapon?
PostPosted: Wed Mar 16, 2016 6:24 pm 
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*pulls his staff out and waves it around in an intelligent fashion*
Hmmm. Scans indicate traces of organic matter — feline dander, cat hair, and catnip.

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 Post subject: Re: what's your weapon?
PostPosted: Thu Mar 17, 2016 9:17 pm 
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Bruce the Loon wrote:
Aratan wrote:
Newly registered user, long-time lurker (the forum type, not the Zerg one), reporting to the Armory for a weapon to wield in the event a war ever takes place on this forum.

By the gods, what's this place coming to? Poor launchie asked a week ago for a weapon and he's still unarmed. Shame, shame shame.

Anyhoo, lets have a dig around.

There's a golden box labeled, One Ring, The. (Not A Mescorp Product). We'll leave that one well alone, we all know what it did to your father. We'll also pass over the Shards of Narsil, difficult to find an elven smith these days and they'll give you a right nasty cut on the edges. Also, apparently earmarked for someone else according to the note left by one Olórin in Elvish runes.

Ah, here we go. It's a dwarfish crossbow set, lovely pearl handles, 30 bolt magazines and imbued with what might delicately be called aroma of old feet. It might seem old fashioned, but the bolts are self-regenerating and they are randomly tipped with either high explosive, anti-matter or rubber tips. Luck of the draw I guess. There is something scrawled on the box in runes, no idea what it means.

Image

There's a note here too, also by Olórin. Something about having belonged to Balin and recovered from the Halls of Moria. The box is slightly charred on the underside.


So, I now have a potato (may or may not be a MesCorp product), a miniature crossbow, white door knobs, 30 magazines from a bus line in Montana, and a box of magic fireworks that failed to defeat a horde of goblins. I'm sure I can wield these items in a manner worthy of Numenor.


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 Post subject: Re: what's your weapon?
PostPosted: Thu Mar 17, 2016 9:35 pm 
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Aratan wrote:
I'm sure I can wield these items in a manner worthy of Numenor.

As long as you remember the ancient words of wisdom from Sean "I'm killed off in the first season/movie again?" Bean:

"One simply doesn't walk into more doors."


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 Post subject: Re: what's your weapon?
PostPosted: Tue Mar 29, 2016 8:52 pm 
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evileeyore wrote:
What is it with you people dropping Carriers all over the place? First AlphaSec, then S.H.I.E.L.D., and now Black Sheep.

What dropped carrier? *checks wiki*

Eh. Kittens will do that to someone carrying a carrier.

Note to self: Reduce pain sensitivity in the next generation of clones. Or use telepresence bots more often.

Aratan wrote:
Bruce the Loon wrote:
Aratan wrote:
Newly registered user, long-time lurker (the forum type, not the Zerg one), reporting to the Armory for a weapon to wield in the event a war ever takes place on this forum.

By the gods, what's this place coming to? Poor launchie asked a week ago for a weapon and he's still unarmed. Shame, shame shame.

Anyhoo, lets have a dig around.

There's a golden box labeled, One Ring, The. (Not A Mescorp Product). We'll leave that one well alone, we all know what it did to your father. We'll also pass over the Shards of Narsil, difficult to find an elven smith these days and they'll give you a right nasty cut on the edges. Also, apparently earmarked for someone else according to the note left by one Olórin in Elvish runes.

Ah, here we go. It's a dwarfish crossbow set, lovely pearl handles, 30 bolt magazines and imbued with what might delicately be called aroma of old feet. It might seem old fashioned, but the bolts are self-regenerating and they are randomly tipped with either high explosive, anti-matter or rubber tips. Luck of the draw I guess. There is something scrawled on the box in runes, no idea what it means.

Image

There's a note here too, also by Olórin. Something about having belonged to Balin and recovered from the Halls of Moria. The box is slightly charred on the underside.


So, I now have a potato (may or may not be a MesCorp product), a miniature crossbow, white door knobs, 30 magazines from a bus line in Montana, and a box of magic fireworks that failed to defeat a horde of goblins. I'm sure I can wield these items in a manner worthy of Numenor.


And don't forget the Smart Bomb that always hits the thrower. And some duct tape.

Hopefully someone gets the reference. Man, those things were annoying.

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Owns Exponential antimatter magazines and a 30" long gun.
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 Post subject: Re: what's your weapon?
PostPosted: Tue May 10, 2016 3:55 am 
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Okay, for those of us who don't speak Khuzdul/read Cirth... What exactly is that saying?

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 Post subject: Re: what's your weapon?
PostPosted: Thu May 12, 2016 11:08 am 
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splark wrote:
Okay, for those of us who don't speak Khuzdul/read Cirth... What exactly is that saying?


Thank the gods for Firefox's history, had to go and find out what I typed. And Aratan was surprising close with the magic fireworks comment, unless he can read the runes.

Do not use indoors.
Emits showers of sparks.
Set fire and run away.

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 Post subject: Re: what's your weapon?
PostPosted: Fri May 13, 2016 7:01 pm 
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That is not Haiku
The syllable count is wrong
Please try again, por favor.

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 Post subject: Re: what's your weapon?
PostPosted: Tue Jun 07, 2016 9:30 pm 
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Erm.

So, how long must one be around here to request a weapon... Been lurking here for a year or so.

My real world life is replete with diverse energetic materials, along with a panoply of 19th-21st century Terran light and crew served weapons. But nothing in the locker or explosives magazines appears suitable to this charmingly diverg3nt twist of teh interwebz.


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 Post subject: Re: what's your weapon?
PostPosted: Wed Jun 08, 2016 5:20 pm 
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bert2368 wrote:
Erm.

So, how long must one be around here to request a weapon... Been lurking here for a year or so.

My real world life is replete with diverse energetic materials, along with a panoply of 19th-21st century Terran light and crew served weapons. But nothing in the locker or explosives magazines appears suitable to this charmingly diverg3nt twist of teh interwebz.


Quite long enough.
*brings out a mannequin head bedecked in a helmet with extensive lenses, battery packs, and processing units*
I say your own armory looks very well indeed, with the help of a force multiplier.
These are the Oh Myyyyy Goggles.
Integrating low-light, infrared, visible range, and acoustic sensors to provide you with video-game-style situational awareness, the onboard AI automatically detects and highlights friends, foes, and potential loot.
Of course, the AI is programmed with the personality of one Captain Hikaru Sulu, UFP, USS Excelsior, whose dulcet baritone will provide audible notification of new contacts. The unit's name derives from the notification tone you will hear when exceptional loot or an exceptional threat is identified.

You may choose to familiarize yourself with it now.

https://m.youtube.com/watch?v=yicbvWwQ_MA


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 Post subject: Re: what's your weapon?
PostPosted: Thu Jun 09, 2016 10:28 pm 
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That's a pretty Takei weapon system...


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 Post subject: Re: what's your weapon?
PostPosted: Fri Jul 08, 2016 12:36 am 
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A remotly operated drone enters the armoury and states "My operator has not come to request a weapon but has instead asked about what all this silliness is about"

(long time lurker just created thy account today)

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Has a drone which is in possession of a Quasar Cannon. I sense shenanigans.


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 Post subject: Re: what's your weapon?
PostPosted: Fri Jul 08, 2016 1:01 am 
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NightLexic wrote:
A remotly operated drone enters the armoury and states "My operator has not come to request a weapon but has instead asked about what all this silliness is about"

(long time lurker just created thy account today)


It's about as silly as it gets in a family friendly comic which involves people who hurt people and break things for a living.

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===============================================
"A sufficiently-advanced technology is indistinguishable from magic."
Arthur C. Clarke
"Sufficiently advanced magic is indistinguishable from technology."
Jack L. Chalker
"Magic is just another way of saying 'I don't know how it works.'"
Larry Niven
"Any technology, no matter how primitive, is magic to those who don't understand it."
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 Post subject: Re: what's your weapon?
PostPosted: Fri Jul 08, 2016 1:17 am 
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Initiate direct voice control
Interesting. Now even though i am not asking for a weapon my drone can carry some incredible weight and i ask if i were to be granted a weapon to let thine drone carry it out and to me. For i cannot be present in physical terms at the moment
Direct voice control end

The Drone just hovers there its multi-directional cameras recording everything.

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 Post subject: Re: what's your weapon?
PostPosted: Fri Jul 08, 2016 1:40 am 
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NightLexic wrote:
Initiate direct voice control
Interesting. Now even though i am not asking for a weapon my drone can carry some incredible weight and i ask if i were to be granted a weapon to let thine drone carry it out and to me. For i cannot be present in physical terms at the moment
Direct voice control end

The Drone just hovers there its multi-directional cameras recording everything.


I grant you a Quasar Cannon. It connects the projector to a remote Quasar via a dedicated teraport. It is best not to fire it indoors.

_________________
===============================================
"A sufficiently-advanced technology is indistinguishable from magic."
Arthur C. Clarke
"Sufficiently advanced magic is indistinguishable from technology."
Jack L. Chalker
"Magic is just another way of saying 'I don't know how it works.'"
Larry Niven
"Any technology, no matter how primitive, is magic to those who don't understand it."
Florence Ambrose


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 Post subject: Re: what's your weapon?
PostPosted: Wed Jul 13, 2016 1:24 am 
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richv wrote:
NightLexic wrote:
Initiate direct voice control
Interesting. Now even though i am not asking for a weapon my drone can carry some incredible weight and i ask if i were to be granted a weapon to let thine drone carry it out and to me. For i cannot be present in physical terms at the moment
Direct voice control end

The Drone just hovers there its multi-directional cameras recording everything.


I grant you a Quasar Cannon. It connects the projector to a remote Quasar via a dedicated teraport. It is best not to fire it indoors.


The Drone hovers over to the Quasar Cannon and tractors it before leaving the Armoury. In a far away system a lone man chuckles at the thought of the Cannon received

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 Post subject: Re: what's your weapon?
PostPosted: Thu Jul 14, 2016 5:21 pm 
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I have a question, does one have to receive a pre-built weapon from an established manufacture or can they make their own? Or is providing specs to a contractor allowed in these parts?


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 Post subject: Re: what's your weapon?
PostPosted: Thu Jul 14, 2016 9:46 pm 
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One is always given a weapon upon entrance and request.

It firmly/softly (de)establishes which side(s), vertex(ices), and/or arc(s) of the coming Armedupgetoff War you will be on/off.

Once given/forced to take a weapon one is then more than capable of making suggestions for arming future/past/present/absent warriors. Or if one has the manufactury or acquisition capacities, presenting arms to said warriors.


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 Post subject: Re: what's your weapon?
PostPosted: Fri Jul 15, 2016 12:53 pm 
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evileeyore wrote:
One is always given a weapon upon entrance and request.

It firmly/softly (de)establishes which side(s), vertex(ices), and/or arc(s) of the coming Armedupgetoff War you will be on/off.

Once given/forced to take a weapon one is then more than capable of making suggestions for arming future/past/present/absent warriors. Or if one has the manufactury or acquisition capacities, presenting arms to said warriors.


That was rather confusing, took me a few tried to read. So I could say ask for some sort of nano tech?


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 Post subject: Re: what's your weapon?
PostPosted: Fri Jul 15, 2016 3:01 pm 
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Warior4356 wrote:
That was rather confusing, took me a few tried to read. So I could say ask for some sort of nano tech?

Hmmm. Nano you say... let's see what my people have picked up lately.

/pulls out a crate with ALPHA SEC hastily whitewashed and the EVIL INC logo prominently placed over it.

This little beauty just fell off a dock, err, I mean was recovered by Evil Inc's 'researchers'. It's a Mark IIa Dissembler Magnetic Rail Derringer. As small as any other 'palm pistol' but it claims to have the firing power of a full vehicle mounted rail cannon. Of course it claims to have many other features, so I'd just ignore whatever it says. The R&D test team has confirmed it breaks down any conventional material fed into the lower reception port (don't let your fingers curl over it!) and converts that material into Dissembler bullets. When fired at a target the bullets reel off lie after lie (mostly about how big they are and how much the other bullets love them - the bullets aren't very original in their tales), but also manage to evade detection and most standard projectile shields. The pistol itself will bypass all Level 2 and lower security scans making an invaluable covert option. If you can get it to stop talking about itself.

Rate of fire: Averages 2 shots per second, regardless of what the gun claims.
Energy Consumption: Unknown, every stat it has claimed has been proven false... but it hasn't run out of juice in over two hundred test fires. It might just run on lies.

/opens the crate...

"Hello, I'm a Spinal Mounted Nuclear Missile Pod from a class 2 warship on loan from Ishidan Corp. My you have a remarkably strong jawline, your mastery of all things is assured and with my ability to destroy planets you shall be unconquerable..."

/closes crate.

There you are, just initial here, and here, thank you. All Armoury Issued Weapons are final!


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 Post subject: Re: what's your weapon?
PostPosted: Fri Jul 15, 2016 3:20 pm 
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I love it thanks. The perfect gun for covert action, as it is loaded with lies.


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 Post subject: Re: what's your weapon?
PostPosted: Sat Jul 16, 2016 4:53 am 
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evileeyore wrote:
It's a Mark IIa Dissembler Magnetic Rail Derringer. As small as any other 'palm pistol' but it claims to have the firing power of a full vehicle mounted rail cannon. Of course it claims to have many other features, so I'd just ignore whatever it says. The R&D test team has confirmed it breaks down any conventional material fed into the lower reception port (don't let your fingers curl over it!) and converts that material into Dissembler bullets.


Compact and concealable? Well that's a change. Keeping things Loki, are we?


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 Post subject: Re: what's your weapon?
PostPosted: Thu Aug 04, 2016 10:11 pm 
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Hi there! I'm here to pick up a three-step Long Weight. You do have one, right? The last five places I checked kept telling me it was actually somewhere else.


Last edited by tryingtobewitty on Thu Aug 04, 2016 11:42 pm, edited 1 time in total.

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