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PostPosted: Sat Sep 17, 2005 3:48 am 
Hu's the new leader of China

Playwright Jim Sherman wrote this after Hu Jintao was named chief of the Communist Party in China.
(We take you now to the Oval Office.)
George: Condi! Nice to see you. What's happening?

Condi: Sir, I have the report here about the new leader of China.

George: Great. Lay it on me.

Condi: Hu is the new leader of China.

George: That's what I want to know.

Condi: That's what I'm telling you.

George: That's what I'm asking you. Who is the new leader of China?

Condi: Yes.

George: I mean the fellow's name.

Condi: Hu.

George: The guy in China.

Condi: Hu.

George: The new leader of China.

Condi: Hu.

George: The Chinaman!

Condi: Hu is leading China.

George: Now whaddya' asking me for?

Condi: I'm telling you Hu is leading China.

George: Well, I'm asking you. Who is leading China?

Condi: That's the man's name.

George: That's who's name?

Condi: Yes.

George: Will you or will you not tell me the name of the new leader of China?

Condi: Yes, sir.

George: Yassir? Yassir Arafat is in China? I thought he was in the Middle East.

Condi: That's correct.

George: Then who is in China?

Condi: Yes, sir.

George: Yassir is in China?

Condi: No, sir.

George: Then who is?

Condi: Yes, sir.

George: Yassir?

Condi: No, sir.

George: Look, Condi. I need to know the name of the new leader of China. Get me the Secretary General of the U.N. on the phone.

Condi: Kofi?

George: No, thanks.

Condi: You want Kofi?

George: No.

Condi: You don't want Kofi.

George: No. But now that you mention it, I could use a glass of milk. And then get me the U.N.

Condi: Yes, sir.

George: Not Yassir! The guy at the U.N.

Condi: Kofi?

George: Milk! Will you please make the call?

Condi: And call who?

George: Who is the guy at the U.N?

Condi: Hu is the guy in China.

George: Will you stay out of China?!

Condi: Yes, sir.

George: And stay out of the Middle East! Just get me the guy at the U.N.

Condi: Kofi.

George: All right! With cream and two sugars. Now get on the phone.

(Condi picks up the phone.)

Condi: Rice, here.

George: Rice? Good idea. And a couple of egg rolls, too. Maybe we should send some to the guy in China. And the Middle East. Can you get Chinese food in the Middle East?


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PostPosted: Sat Sep 17, 2005 4:32 am 
:lol: :lol: :lol:


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PostPosted: Mon Sep 19, 2005 12:17 am 
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Knight of Daisies, Tulip Slayer
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Joined: Sat May 11, 2002 3:03 am
Posts: 1621
Location: Sector ZZ9 Plural Z Alpha
bwahahaha, I love it!

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PostPosted: Mon Sep 19, 2005 1:15 am 
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Janitor
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Joined: Thu Mar 25, 2004 11:15 pm
Posts: 2388
Location: In the middle of the Pacific Ocean, somewhere.
<a href="http://news.yahoo.com/news?tmpl=story&u=/afp/20050918/hl_afp/whohealthflu_050918203658">We can keep going!</a> (besides, Yassir is dead. We need new material.)

Condi: "Sir, I've got the UN on the line. The World Health Organization says you should also address the issue of a possible bird flu epidemic."

George: "Who says that?"

Condi: "Yes, exactly."

George: "What?"

Condi: "No, WHO."

George: "Who what?"

Condi: "WHO says you should address bird flu."

George: "That's what I'm trying to find out! WHO says I should address bird flu?"

Condi: "YES!"

George: "YES says I should address bird flu? I didn't even know they were still together, besides, why should I listen to a rock and roll band? It's like those other musicians who wanted to tell me what to do, like that Bono guy. I mean, he's a nice guy, but come on. What a fool, him and the rest of his band."

J. Random Intern: U2.

George: What? What do you mean, me too? Did you just call me a fool?

JRI: Uh, no sir, that's the name of his band.

George: Right, whatever, sonny.

JRI: No, not Sonny, just Bono. Sonny...

Dick: Now would be a good time to quit while you're ahead, kid.

George: Thanks, Dick. Now, Condi, you were saying something about bird flu?

Condi: Yes, WHO says you should address it.

George: What is this, a quiz? How should I know? You never told me! All right, forget bird flu for now, I thought we were talking about China. Who is the leader of China?

Condi: That's correct, Hu is the leader of China.

George: Great, I ask for more answers, you give me more questions. Same one, too. Can't throw in a when or why, can you?

Condi: Sir, I'm telling you both!

George: All right! All at once, then! Leader of China and person who wants me to address bird flu!

Condi: Hu and WHO!

George: I don't know!

All: THIRD BASE!

(yes I know the original went line for line down the Abbott and Costello act. Somehow, the fact that these are REAL names just makes it better.)


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PostPosted: Mon Sep 19, 2005 2:39 am 
:lol:


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