The Nightstar Zoo

It was raining in Gotham City. Lately, it seemed to always be raining in Gotham City. The rain was good. It kept the lesser scum inside, leaving the Batman time to deal with the more serious threats.

This was his city. And tonight, he'd make sure people knew that.

The rumor had started small. Three terrified thugs later, and he had a clue as to the identity of the newcomer.

They said the man could destroy a town.

They said there was a bounty on his head.

Batman hated bounties. There would be more guns on the streets, as everybody tried to get their hands on a walking cashpile. People would get caught in the crossfire.

Several interrogations later, he had a name. Vash. Vash the Stampede.

It had taken him a day of hunting, but he tracked the man down. He seemed harmless enough, but the Batman knew better. The way he walked, the way he carried himself, the way his eyes glanced around.

This man knew the Batman was there. He simply wasn't doing anything about it.

Perhaps he was innocent. Perhaps he was guilty. Perhaps he was insane.

Batman didn't care. All he knew was that this man, this "Vash," had to be caught before lives were lost.

Batman waited until Vash was alone. It was the best way to keep the populace safe. He had trailed the red-coated man from a doughnut shop to the slums. This man moved through the crowds unafraid, and people who saw him quickly moved out of his way. A feat not many could pull off.

When at last Vash was alone, the Batman moved. A batarang, meant to stun the blond-haired suspect, flew from his fingertips. The moment it left, he could see Vash knew he was there.

Something leapt from Vash's fingertips, and impacted against the Batarang. It stuck, and the batarang fell harmlessly to the ground, a jelly donut stuck against one edge.

Batman grunted, the only sign he was impressed. He leapt down from the shadows, cape billowing out behind him as he landed on his feet. He drew himself up to full height, and the two men locked eyes.

"...they say you destroyed a town."

"..."

"Do you deny this charge?"

"...no."

"Then I have to take you in."

"I can't let you. Not until I find...him."

"Who? Who do you have to find?"

"..."

"Be that way. One way or another, you're coming with me."

Contest of Champions is proud to present:


VASH THE STAMPEDE

VERSUS


BATMAN

Join us now for a battle we had to call:

"Gonna Getcha"

Keep in mind, folks, this is NOT a "battle to the death."

This fight continues until one of two events happens.

A) Batman captures Vash.

B) Vash escapes Batman.

(Now, keep in mind this isn't if Vash stays caught. He could easily escape the grasp of the police. This is just if Batman can catch him.)

One or more villains appear, Batman and Vash team up, and in the end Batman lets Vash go.

Batman.

Just cause he's Batman.

In the situation that you explained, Vash would have the advantage, because Batman doesn't know enough about what he can do.

But if either of them got to know the other moderately well, they wouldn't be enemies.

Who the heck is Vash?

Trigun's hero.

think City Hunter in the wild west, with sci-fi thrown in.

Oh. Well, I don't know all that much about Vash, but I'm voting for Batman, since he's among the most ressourceful characters I've seen.

One of the best lines in Trigun is "I could have groped you 5 times..." Vash has the speed, he has the agility, he has the reflexes (he dodges bullets on a regular basis), he can easily get away. Batman may be resourseful, but if he can't hit Vash with anything, then how is he supposed to bring him in? Plus, Vash could just shoot any of Batman's tools out of his hands before he got to use them.

The only real way that Batman could catch Vash is to convince him to allow himself to be caught by threatening innocent people. But Batman typically doesn't do that. So there is no way he would catch Vash.

Vash can escape normal humans as long as he really wants to. The only real thing that causes him difficulty is his obsession with ensuring that noone dies.

Or Batman could put sleeping pills in donuts and leave them out. But would he think of it?

(I mean, come on. It's Batman. Dark Knight and all that. Starting a fight, and then withdrawing to go buy donuts just to catch a goofy hippy is a bit too undignified, don't you think?)

If worse were to come to worse, then he'd be calling a certain boyscout from Metropolis to give him a hand with this Meta, who's messing up his city.

But then is Vash that much faster than the Flash??
I'm thinking Tower of Babel storyline here and the various countermeasures old bathead had developed to foil the JLA in case they went nutso on him.

Sure, he could put the spiked donuts out with a little sign that said, "Free Doughnuts!" Then Vash would zip up, eat all the donuts by rapidly pecking his head ound the plate, and then zip off, leaving the sign spinning on it's little post, and the sleeping pills still on the plate.

Then, of course, Batman would need to get his rocket skates...

...

I mean, come on, Anh Minh. How much more Road Runner can you get? Sheesh! Sleeping pills in the donuts...

The thing is, I can definitely imagine that happening. Especially with Vash.

Batman is much to brooding to be allowed to triumph. Viva le Vash!

Now Batgirl, that is a different story...

Yall! It's Batman!

I don't care if its God himself. I'm putting money on Batman to win!

Yall! It's Vash the Stampede!

I don't care if its God himself. I'm putting money on Vash to win!

Batman. Simply because of the victory conditions. There is no way that Vash could escape that would not result in Batman continuing the pursuit.

Well, if you figure he had to get on the planet somehow, he probably has a way off that Batman most likely couldn't follow.

But the main reason Vash comes out on top is that he and Batman are too alike to be real enemies. Batman, being his resourceful self, would ultimately determine that Vash isn't any more dangerous than he himself, and would let him go. Thus, Vash escapes.

That was the first thing to pop into my head as well.

I do like this option best of all.

Though, barring this possibility, I figure Vash will escape. He's just too slippery.



Hmmm. Now that I think about it, I like that you picked two characters with codes against killing, Rakka...

Okay....

*Cracks his knuckles*

Vash is unparalleled at evading attacks and this is going to stymie Batman for a while. Batman will keep throwing his batarangs and spraying his teargas at the places Vash used to be. Add in Vash's superhuman accuracy with his pistol and you've got one really irritated Dark Knight.

However...

Batman's most formidable asset is his intellect. He's defeated any number of metahuman foes, up to and including, the big S himself. As Vash pursues his quarry, Batman will acquire more and more information about the red-overcoated madman. Eventually he'll uncover a way to defeat Vash-- most likely, by using Vash's own moral code against him. Once he has the Humanoid Typhoon in his possession, however, Batman will most likely relent and allow Vash to aid him in capturing the other "unwanted visitor" in Gotham. Batman will probably let Vash go in the end... recognizing a kindred spirit of sorts, but it will be because he decided to, not because Vash escaped the Darkknight Detective.

Final victory: Batman

If Batman somehow starts understanding Vash enough to use his morals against him, I doubt he'll be all that hot on pursuing him at all - not without some solid evidence that Vash is, indeed, a criminal.

Remember, this is Batman. Nobody starts trouble in his city, regardless of motives or good intentions!

Who started trouble? Vash was walking quietly down the street when some freak in a bat costume threw a boomerang at him!

By coming to Gotham, he's also lured bands of bounty hunters to the city. That means a lot of firepower being used indiscriminately. Something the big bad Bat doesn't approve of.

(See the intro text by Rakka)

Then Batman should concentrate on the bounty hunters. Vash's the victim here!

Efficiency old chap. Get Vash out of the city, and the bounty hunters will follow. The longer he stays, the more will come to the city, and the last thing the big bad Bat wants is for Lobo to show up in Gotham.

Some defender of justice Batman turns out to be! What's next? Kill witnesses so the mafia doesn't have to messily do it itself?

Now now, kicking someone out of the city does not equate to killing them.

Course knowing the Bat, he might just decide to get cheeky and let the big Boyscout worry about Vash and give the latter a one way ticket to Metropolis.

Long as Gothamites aren't getting killed, hurt, maimed etc, and the town is nice and quiet, then the Bat is happy. And that's a good thing.

Remember Batman's (often stated) feeling about metahuman vigilantes. To put it bluntly: he don't like them!
Metahuman battles frequently cause serious collateral damage, and I think you can agree that Vash's middle names ought to be "Collateral Damage". (I swear he must be the orphaned child of the Lovely Angels...)
So Bats isn't so much treating Vash as a criminal, as a destructive force of nature-- which he is, when you come right down to it.