The Nightstar Zoo

How many firking floz's in a butt, you ask?
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Author:  Raif [ Wed Feb 05, 2003 5:03 am ]
Post subject:  How many firking floz's in a butt, you ask?

[10:34:44] * Fair_Horace is a hidebound reactionary who uses the english system of weights and measures.
[10:35:04] <Fair_Horace> Raif: at least someone in here recognizes good common sense.
[10:35:09] <Kazriko> Fair_Horace, like those flozes and quties and such?
[10:35:22] <Raif> since when is good sense common?
[10:35:35] <Raif> for that matter since when is common sense good?
[10:35:51] <Kazriko> Fair_Horace, i always see them use this wierd english measurement called a Floz. apparently there's 128 of them in a gallion. whatever a gallion is.
[10:36:07] <Raif> fluid ounce.
[10:36:16] <Fair_Horace> "
[10:36:19] <Kazriko> (shh, i knwo that, but..)
[10:36:20] <Fair_Horace> ahem.
[10:36:30] <Fair_Horace> "I get fifteen rods to the hogshead, and I like it just fine!"
[10:36:39] <Raif> LOL
[10:36:44] * Kazriko strikes Fair_Horace with fifteen rods.
[10:36:55] * Fair_Horace ducks behind a hogshead
[10:36:57] <Raif> "Sometimes a ramrod is just a ramrod!"
[10:37:37] <Kazriko> how about leagues. still use those?
[10:37:43] <Raif> yes.
[10:37:51] <Raif> rarely though.
[10:37:54] <Raif> and improperly.
[10:38:09] * Kazriko dunks Fair_Horace underwater, How many leagues is that!
[10:38:13] <Raif> (20,000 leagues under the sea, should have been 20,000 furlongs)
[10:38:36] <Raif> leages is a land distance measurement.
[10:38:45] * Kazriko brings Fair_Horace, to make him out of his league.
[10:38:57] <Fair_Horace> I like the furlong/firking/fortnight measurement system.
[10:39:09] <Raif> fortnight is just a cool word, period.
[10:39:16] <Kazriko> fork it. gotta sleep. nite.
[10:39:18] <Fair_Horace> isn't a league something like 7 miles?
[10:39:21] * Kazriko is now known as KazNap
[10:39:24] <Raif> and get the get off my firking property.
[10:39:39] <KazNap> or would that be firk it.
[10:39:45] <Raif> lol
[10:39:58] <KazNap> just firk it, i'll sort it out tommorow. :)
[10:40:02] <Raif> horace: or thereabouts.
[10:40:12] <Raif> firk yourself.
[10:40:23] <Fair_Horace> I measure my distances in attoparsecs, actually.
[10:40:24] <Raif> hogshead rodder...
[10:40:25] <KazNap> oh, firk you.
[10:40:33] <Raif> up your barrel, bub.
[10:40:53] <Fair_Horace> don't forget how many hogsheads there are in a butt.
[10:41:10] <Raif> actually, how many?
[10:41:22] <KazNap> Fair_Horace, oh, btw, i need to mark an item off my todo list...
[10:41:29] <Fair_Horace> hold on, I'm looking for a converter.
[10:41:32] <Fair_Horace> What, kaz?
[10:41:34] * KazNap intimidates Fair_Horace into typing in comics..
[10:41:42] <KazNap> ok. intimidation, check.
[10:41:50] <Fair_Horace> Alright, alright.
[10:41:52] * KazNap clicks on the little box on the palmtop.
[10:41:53] <Fair_Horace> I'll get back too it.
[10:42:01] <Fair_Horace> Do you have a new palm, or something?
[10:42:02] <KazNap> Fair_Horace, i'm just kidding btw. ;)
[10:42:11] <KazNap> naa, i just started putting tons of stuff in it.
[10:42:21] <KazNap> "finish edit-char screen"
[10:42:22] <Fair_Horace> there are 2 hogsheads to a butt
[10:42:28] <KazNap> "finish edit-species screen"
[10:42:35] <KazNap> "Implement substyle-stylesheets"
[10:42:40] <Raif> ow.
[10:42:47] <KazNap> "adjust website to validate to xhtml 1.1"
[10:42:49] <Raif> that must really firking hurt.
[10:43:13] <KazNap> Raif, depends on which hogshead you're talking about.
[10:43:22] <KazNap> naa, that still would firking hurt.
[10:43:34] <Raif> LOL
[10:43:42] <Fair_Horace> there's 64 gallons to the hogshead
[10:43:52] <Fair_Horace> so a butt is 128 gallons.
[10:44:03] <KazNap> a whole buttload of liquid, huh?
[10:44:04] <Raif> my, they don't make 'em small anymore do they?
[10:44:04] <Fair_Horace> or 4 kilderkins
[10:44:26] <KazNap> man, i'm too tried to be talking about english measurements.
[10:44:27] <Fair_Horace> and there's two quarts to a pottle.
[10:44:29] <KazNap> they're really firked up.
[10:44:34] <Raif> hey, at least they're in keeping with base 2.
[10:44:40] <KazNap> true..
[10:44:45] <KazNap> for liquid measurements at least.
[10:44:58] <Raif> how many pottles to a drum?
[10:45:09] <Fair_Horace> no such unit as a drum
[10:45:15] <Raif> barrel, sorry.
[10:45:23] <Fair_Horace> Oh, umm...
[10:45:26] * Fair_Horace does math in his head
[10:45:45] * Raif waits... and waits... and waits.
[10:45:46] <Fair_Horace> 128 pottles to the barrel
[10:45:53] * Schlock eats it.
[10:46:14] <Raif> how many floz to a butt?
[10:46:23] <KazNap> 128*128?
[10:46:30] <KazNap> 128*128 => 16384
[10:46:34] <Fair_Horace> floz isn't even in this system.
[10:46:40] <Raif> heehe
[10:46:42] <KazNap> 128 floz per gallon
[10:46:42] <Fair_Horace> Oh wait.
[10:46:45] <Fair_Horace> it is.
[10:47:00] <Fair_Horace> no, its not that simple.
[10:47:12] <KazNap> 128 gallons per butt?
[10:47:19] <KazNap> what is it then?
[10:47:19] <Raif> now can you please convert that to grams of 0 degree water?
[10:47:48] <Raif> sounds like a recipe for weight watchers.
[10:47:49] <Fair_Horace> It looks like there's 10242 floz to the butt.
[10:47:57] <Raif> Or the movie What's Eating Gilbert Grape.
[10:48:25] <Raif> but there's 128 gallons to a butt and 128 ounces to a gallon.
[10:49:00] <KazNap> 10242/128 => 80
[10:49:04] <Raif> HOW CAN THIS BE! I ask you.
[10:49:09] <KazNap> unless there's 80 gallons per butt.
[10:49:09] <Raif> WHAT!?
[10:49:24] <Raif> there's 16 ounces in a cup and 16 cups in a gallon.
[10:49:31] <Fair_Horace> I was wrong... there's 11520 floz to the butt.
[10:49:32] <KazNap> 16*16 => 256
[10:49:36] <KazNap> hmm.
[10:49:40] <KazNap> 11520/256
[10:49:44] <KazNap> 11520/256 => 45
[10:49:49] <KazNap> so 45 gallons per butt?
[10:49:52] <Raif> 2 cups per pint, two pints per quart, four quarts per gallon.
[10:49:55] <Raif> == 16 cups.
[10:50:10] <Fair_Horace> ... r-1790.htm
[10:50:21] <Fair_Horace> I've been looking at british values prior to 1790
[10:50:31] <Raif> We have to post this conversation.
[10:51:02] <KazNap> "how many mistakes can we catch kaz in when he's 3 hours past his normal sleep-time. :)
[10:51:09] <Fair_Horace> hahah.
[10:51:20] <Fair_Horace> Now featuring english-uk-metric conversions!
[10:51:26] <Fair_Horace> we just need to work in SI prefixes
[10:51:30] <Raif> I'm not suer that's right.
[10:51:32] <Fair_Horace> and the natural log.
[10:51:33] <Raif> 2 cups per pint.
[10:51:55] <Raif> and 10 floz != 1 cup
[10:51:58] <Fair_Horace> there is no cup in this system... We've got 'gills' instead
[10:52:11] <Raif> yes but do the math with floz.
[10:52:28] <Fair_Horace> I just caved and got out my palm's unitconverter.
[10:52:30] <Raif> 20 floz per pint (with gills)
[10:52:37] <Fair_Horace> and it took floz to barrels as 5760
[10:52:48] <Raif> floz to cups?
[10:52:54] <KazNap> whereof 24 Graines make a Pennyweight, 20 Pennyweights an Ounce and 12 Ounces a Pound, by which Bread (in Corporation Towns only) Gold, Silver, and Apothecaries Medicines ae weighted ;and to this Weight Corn Measures are reduceable, as 8 lb. Troy makes a Gallon, 16 lb: a Peck, and consequently 64 lb. a Bushel;
[10:53:03] <KazNap> oy...
[10:53:47] <Fair_Horace> yeah, this is starting to really hurt.
[10:53:49] <Raif> wait until you get into the english monetary system. =)
[10:53:59] <KazNap> ach
[10:53:59] <Raif> Dammit I WILL KNOW HOW MANY OUNCES IN A BUTT!
[10:54:03] <Fair_Horace> I'll post it to keen, raif, you can post it to nightstar, and we'll stop talking about it and kaz can go to sleep.
[10:54:06] <Fair_Horace> 11520
[10:54:11] <Fair_Horace> and I'm sticking to it.

Author:  Simon Jester [ Wed Feb 05, 2003 11:24 pm ]
Post subject: 

Just for the record, a league is 3 miles, not 7. Unless we're talking about some pretty major leagues, of course. ;)

Author:  Raif [ Thu Apr 03, 2003 1:34 am ]
Post subject: 

20,000 leagues was just a nice round number. 20,000 furlongs works just as well. =)

Author:  Ishidan [ Sat Nov 27, 2004 6:21 pm ]
Post subject: 

Example of a no-win situation:

when a woman standing next to an old European wine cask stamped "1 butt" asks you how much her butt weighs...

Author:  bizzybody [ Sat Jan 29, 2005 1:49 am ]
Post subject: 

"Does this make my butt look fat?"

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