The Nightstar Zoo

Geobacter sulferreducens may be able to clean up toxic metal ions in groundwater. It "breathes" by passing electrons to metal ions, de-ionizing them and causing them to become insoluble. They normally only breathe rust, but they can be "trained" to use other sorts of metal, even uranium. Related microbes may have been responsible for most of the world's magnetite deposits.

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"I remember the first time I got laid. There was nothing but darkness at
first. Then movement, coming in fits and starts. Then I felt a weird
urge, and used my sharp beak to break free of that damnable prison."
—— Karim Rashad, in rec.martial-arts