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PostPosted: Sun Jan 22, 2006 1:58 pm 
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Concession Worker
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What's in that "breast repair kit" you're always lugging around everywhere?

It seemed like a good idea 500 years ago.


(BTW, could we please institute an "Only if..." moratorium in here? ;))

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 Post subject:
PostPosted: Mon Jan 23, 2006 12:32 pm 
Why do we have a moratorium on "Only if"s?

I would, but then i'd have to kill you and a few random passersby


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 Post subject:
PostPosted: Sun Jan 29, 2006 8:20 pm 
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Hey there, Ninja Mime! Could you show us your skills?


With an extra liter of crushed ice, it might just work.

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PostPosted: Mon Jan 30, 2006 4:00 pm 
Trying to save hilter's brain seems impossible... what do you think?

Nah, too salty


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 Post subject:
PostPosted: Sat Feb 25, 2006 3:36 pm 
Care for some dip made of Hitler's brain?

There are some that would consider this... unnatural.


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 Post subject:
PostPosted: Thu Mar 02, 2006 10:20 am 
Want to shout the unspeakable one's name thrice or more?

Only if you know the polka


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 Post subject:
PostPosted: Thu Mar 02, 2006 9:26 pm 
So, you think this plan to kidnap the Prime Minister of Lower Slovobia will work?

... STOP THE PRESSES!


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 Post subject:
PostPosted: Thu Mar 02, 2006 10:13 pm 
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What was that crunching noise?

That would undermine the entire point of diplomacy.

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 Post subject:
PostPosted: Sun Mar 12, 2006 10:46 am 
Is my Hexblade/Rogue/Arcane Trickster going to be showing off his skills any time soon?

The buffalo is exploding.


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 Post subject:
PostPosted: Wed Mar 15, 2006 9:11 am 
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Ewww! That's gross! What was the euphemism for that in Navajo again?

You'll have to file it down a bit.

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Living in a state free from the burdens of privacy and democracy since 2008-06-18.


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 Post subject:
PostPosted: Wed Mar 22, 2006 2:32 pm 
How do you expect me to fit this giant novelty inflatable hammer in the closet?

I call it, "Imperfection"


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 Post subject:
PostPosted: Fri Mar 31, 2006 11:58 pm 
"so, this new version of Windows seems to have a few more bugs in it than a normal release. . . what's your name for this one, Bill?"


"25, on a good day."


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 Post subject:
PostPosted: Sat Apr 01, 2006 11:56 am 
How many times a day do you find a word to rhyme with "Slovakia"?

Sometimes. But it is not to be confused with John Malkovich


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 Post subject:
PostPosted: Thu Jun 01, 2006 7:54 am 
So, you call your shotgun "Samuel L. Jackson?"
John Malkovich in this case being a name for a different gun. Is it really successful if we need to explain the gag?
Yes, but I have to admit you looked very heroic there.


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 Post subject:
PostPosted: Sun Jun 04, 2006 11:00 am 
Did you know that the worst part of that jump was the part where I landed on the pip?

I told you, don't pass go, don't collect £200!


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 Post subject:
PostPosted: Tue Jun 06, 2006 3:43 am 
Whats with all these rules, cant society just function harmoniously?

two pigs, an oyster and several pounds of lard.


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 Post subject:
PostPosted: Mon Jul 03, 2006 5:56 am 
What ingrediants did you get for your reanimated man?

Ten thousand pounds of processed cheese, five thousand animal crackers and a teaspoon of tabasco sauce


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 Post subject:
PostPosted: Mon Jul 03, 2006 6:17 am 
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Could you read the ingredient list on the McCoronary wrapper again?

It's been blessed by the pope.

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 Post subject:
PostPosted: Sat Jul 15, 2006 4:57 pm 
Why does your spittle now drive off the undead?

Because the guy with the funky moustache laughed at it.


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 Post subject:
PostPosted: Sun Aug 06, 2006 11:20 pm 
Why are you repainting the Mushroomobile?

Leave the satellite laser to me, but I need you to get a 1983-P quarter, a log-log slide rule, and an oak plank about yay long.


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 Post subject:
PostPosted: Fri Aug 11, 2006 2:53 pm 
How are we going to break into Microsoft HQ?

I would but then i'd be turned to scone.


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 Post subject:
PostPosted: Thu Aug 17, 2006 6:01 pm 
"Attilla's not home right now munchkin, but why don't you come in and have some tea?"

I don't care how low fat the outmeal is, the quakers would not approve!


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 Post subject:
PostPosted: Fri Aug 18, 2006 7:48 pm 
Eat your lard-o-porridge, it's good for you and the quakers sponsor it!

I would have but that small man in a hat ten sizes too big for him is following me again.


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 Post subject:
PostPosted: Thu Sep 21, 2006 5:22 pm 
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Why didn't you give Janus some proper headgear advice?

My porridge had been adulterated with cement.

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Living in a state free from the burdens of privacy and democracy since 2008-06-18.


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 Post subject:
PostPosted: Sat Sep 30, 2006 12:09 pm 
Why are you panicing so quietly?

Because I don't have time to check for duplication.


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 Post subject:
PostPosted: Thu Jan 04, 2007 6:40 am 
Why are you killing anyone who looks remotely like anyone else?

Because that sort of thing is frowned upon.


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 Post subject:
PostPosted: Thu Jan 04, 2007 2:54 pm 
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Awww, but why can't we roll a bison on a unicycle through the town square again?

To make room for the tuna!

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 Post subject:
PostPosted: Thu Jan 04, 2007 9:11 pm 
Why are you buying up that seaside house by the peer?

I'm hoping to catch the candlestick-murder.


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 Post subject:
PostPosted: Fri Jan 05, 2007 6:56 am 
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Why did you set your TiVo for "Colonel Mustard in the Conservatory"?

Odorless, tasteless and with a sort of brownish tinge.

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Living in a state free from the burdens of privacy and democracy since 2008-06-18.


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 Post subject:
PostPosted: Fri Jan 05, 2007 12:03 pm 
So, what kind powder did you find in the El Crappo Chocolate Factory?

A mountain fell on him.


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