The Nightstar Zoo

What's in that "breast repair kit" you're always lugging around everywhere?

It seemed like a good idea 500 years ago.


(BTW, could we please institute an "Only if..." moratorium in here? )

_________________
Living in a state free from the burdens of privacy and democracy since 2008-06-18.

Why do we have a moratorium on "Only if"s?

I would, but then i'd have to kill you and a few random passersby

Hey there, Ninja Mime! Could you show us your skills?


With an extra liter of crushed ice, it might just work.

_________________
Living in a state free from the burdens of privacy and democracy since 2008-06-18.

Trying to save hilter's brain seems impossible... what do you think?

Nah, too salty

Care for some dip made of Hitler's brain?

There are some that would consider this... unnatural.

Want to shout the unspeakable one's name thrice or more?

Only if you know the polka

So, you think this plan to kidnap the Prime Minister of Lower Slovobia will work?

... STOP THE PRESSES!

What was that crunching noise?

That would undermine the entire point of diplomacy.

_________________
Living in a state free from the burdens of privacy and democracy since 2008-06-18.

Is my Hexblade/Rogue/Arcane Trickster going to be showing off his skills any time soon?

The buffalo is exploding.

Ewww! That's gross! What was the euphemism for that in Navajo again?

You'll have to file it down a bit.

_________________
Living in a state free from the burdens of privacy and democracy since 2008-06-18.

How do you expect me to fit this giant novelty inflatable hammer in the closet?

I call it, "Imperfection"

"so, this new version of Windows seems to have a few more bugs in it than a normal release. . . what's your name for this one, Bill?"


"25, on a good day."

How many times a day do you find a word to rhyme with "Slovakia"?

Sometimes. But it is not to be confused with John Malkovich

So, you call your shotgun "Samuel L. Jackson?"
John Malkovich in this case being a name for a different gun. Is it really successful if we need to explain the gag?
Yes, but I have to admit you looked very heroic there.

Did you know that the worst part of that jump was the part where I landed on the pip?

I told you, don't pass go, don't collect £200!

Whats with all these rules, cant society just function harmoniously?

two pigs, an oyster and several pounds of lard.

What ingrediants did you get for your reanimated man?

Ten thousand pounds of processed cheese, five thousand animal crackers and a teaspoon of tabasco sauce

Could you read the ingredient list on the McCoronary wrapper again?

It's been blessed by the pope.

_________________
Living in a state free from the burdens of privacy and democracy since 2008-06-18.

Why does your spittle now drive off the undead?

Because the guy with the funky moustache laughed at it.

Why are you repainting the Mushroomobile?

Leave the satellite laser to me, but I need you to get a 1983-P quarter, a log-log slide rule, and an oak plank about yay long.

How are we going to break into Microsoft HQ?

I would but then i'd be turned to scone.

"Attilla's not home right now munchkin, but why don't you come in and have some tea?"

I don't care how low fat the outmeal is, the quakers would not approve!

Eat your lard-o-porridge, it's good for you and the quakers sponsor it!

I would have but that small man in a hat ten sizes too big for him is following me again.

Why didn't you give Janus some proper headgear advice?

My porridge had been adulterated with cement.

_________________
Living in a state free from the burdens of privacy and democracy since 2008-06-18.

Why are you panicing so quietly?

Because I don't have time to check for duplication.

Why are you killing anyone who looks remotely like anyone else?

Because that sort of thing is frowned upon.

Awww, but why can't we roll a bison on a unicycle through the town square again?

To make room for the tuna!

_________________
Fandemonium 2010 -- No Boundaries.
http://www.fandemonium.org
Friday - Sunday, August 6th - 8th, 2010
Nampa Civic Center - Nampa, Idaho (Only 20 minutes from the airport!)
(Idaho: It ain't just potatoes anymore.)

Why are you buying up that seaside house by the peer?

I'm hoping to catch the candlestick-murder.

Why did you set your TiVo for "Colonel Mustard in the Conservatory"?

Odorless, tasteless and with a sort of brownish tinge.

_________________
Living in a state free from the burdens of privacy and democracy since 2008-06-18.

So, what kind powder did you find in the El Crappo Chocolate Factory?

A mountain fell on him.