The Nightstar Zoo

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 Post subject:
PostPosted: Thu Dec 04, 2003 12:44 pm 
Did any of the places you submitted applications to call you back?

Only about half a box of Kleenex.


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 Post subject:
PostPosted: Wed Dec 10, 2003 12:42 am 
Did you eat the cleaning suppplies again?

Yes'm, and the asteroid too.


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 Post subject:
PostPosted: Fri Jan 02, 2004 2:08 pm 
So the three of you will be dining with us tonight?

Somehow, the idea of using my "Aerodynamics for Engineers" book in that manner never occured to me.


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 Post subject:
PostPosted: Mon Jan 05, 2004 12:15 am 
I need something to hold back the skin before I can begin the operation. Hand me something heavy will you?

The walking stick, yes. The jet engine, no.


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 Post subject:
PostPosted: Thu Jan 08, 2004 3:11 pm 
So have you put any thought into my alternate means of personal transportation?

No, No! That's bass ackwards!


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 Post subject:
PostPosted: Sun Jan 11, 2004 12:30 am 
I'm gonna fire up the fish ray, you ready?

At first I found them rather repugnant, but after my fifth or sixth go I was aroused from my drunken stupor by a rather astonishing outcome.


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 Post subject:
PostPosted: Wed Mar 03, 2004 1:04 am 
Care to explain these photoes of you and the boll weevils?

<b>I swear, it's strictly a comfort thing.</b>


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 Post subject:
PostPosted: Wed Mar 03, 2004 1:51 am 
Am I mistaken, or is that a couch of human bones?

Yes, but only during high tide.


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 Post subject:
PostPosted: Tue Mar 09, 2004 9:00 pm 
Is that thing wet, or are you really happy to see me?

Tomorrow - with the pickles.


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 Post subject:
PostPosted: Wed Mar 31, 2004 3:57 am 
So when did you need the 2 gallon drum of vaseline, and did you want that with any side orders?

You see, it involved a termite, a pig, and lots of candied corn


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 Post subject:
PostPosted: Wed Mar 31, 2004 5:53 pm 
Now, then, son, what's yer major malfunction?

Floatation is a gift from the gods!


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 Post subject:
PostPosted: Wed Mar 31, 2004 8:40 pm 
So what's the first thought you get when you smoke really bad weed?

I wanna be your sledge hammer


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 Post subject:
PostPosted: Sun Apr 11, 2004 9:10 pm 
So what is you and your girl friends song?

that was not mountain dew.


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 Post subject:
PostPosted: Mon Apr 12, 2004 1:07 am 
Man, why is this Mountain Dew so strong and smell funky?

Well, I guess that could explain unexpected trip to Hollin.


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 Post subject:
PostPosted: Mon Apr 12, 2004 1:20 am 
Did Bob leave to pick up some more cheese?

No! Mount Taylor you buffoon!


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 Post subject:
PostPosted: Mon Apr 12, 2004 2:09 pm 
Are we allowed to do our nuclear testing over LA?


Fight them hand to hand.


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 Post subject:
PostPosted: Mon Apr 12, 2004 3:54 pm 
I understand the strategy for the planes and the tanks, but what about the mechs?

I am afraid the ice didn't help much.


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 Post subject:
PostPosted: Tue Apr 13, 2004 4:25 pm 
Did the icepack help from when she kicked you there?

A large needle, stabbing into my eye!


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 Post subject:
PostPosted: Tue Apr 13, 2004 7:18 pm 
what is your perfered form of self mutilation?

chicken bones make me hungry.


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 Post subject:
PostPosted: Tue Apr 13, 2004 8:32 pm 
And now, to finish our tour of the Tyson ranch... are you even paying attention?

It is if you twist it.


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 Post subject:
PostPosted: Wed Apr 14, 2004 1:08 am 
Is that a squirt gun or are you just happy to see me?


It was the monkey! I swear!


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 Post subject:
PostPosted: Mon Apr 19, 2004 10:29 pm 
Gecko, were you the one who ate all the bananas?

Spoon.


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 Post subject:
PostPosted: Mon Apr 19, 2004 10:46 pm 
Can you pass the fork?

Whatever.


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 Post subject:
PostPosted: Tue Apr 20, 2004 12:35 am 
Didn't I tell you to stop with the Valley Girl accent?

Who: the tiniest planet in the sky.


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 Post subject:
PostPosted: Sun May 02, 2004 2:00 pm 
Can you tell me who that planet is named after?

It's alive! ALIVE!... Kill it! Kill it!


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 Post subject:
PostPosted: Sun May 02, 2004 2:30 pm 
How long has this jello mold been in the fridge?

We may have to leave the country after this.


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 Post subject:
PostPosted: Sun May 02, 2004 11:20 pm 
What did you have in mind for our date tonight?

Only if you promiss to give me back my pants afterword.


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 Post subject:
PostPosted: Wed May 05, 2004 10:34 am 
So, would you be willing to be photographed in this lovely pink tutu?

Desparate times call for... interesting measures.


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 Post subject:
PostPosted: Wed May 05, 2004 5:32 pm 
So what do you want to do about the attack of the Zombie Ventriloquists?

A pickle, three matchbooks, and a trucker named 'Bob'


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 Post subject:
PostPosted: Wed May 05, 2004 6:08 pm 
Ok, we are going to storm the Castle. What are our assets?

The spoon is the key.


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