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The Nightstar Zoo • View topic - Relationships, etc.

The Nightstar Zoo

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 Post subject: Relationships, etc.
PostPosted: Sun Apr 11, 2004 10:00 pm 


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PostPosted: Wed Apr 14, 2004 11:00 am 


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PostPosted: Wed Apr 14, 2004 2:39 pm 


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 Post subject:
PostPosted: Wed Apr 14, 2004 11:02 pm 
Good grief, Charlie Brown!
:D
Incidentally, that's very nice.


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PostPosted: Thu Apr 15, 2004 6:00 am 


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 Post subject:
PostPosted: Tue Apr 27, 2004 9:07 am 
*Finally sits down and reads thread.

Kreely, that was very touching and poignant. Thank you.


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 Post subject:
PostPosted: Wed Apr 28, 2004 1:01 am 
Relationships confuse the heck out of me, mainly because I've never been in an intimate relationship with anyone. I was homeschooled 3rd through 8th grade, and when joining up with the freshman class, I felt like I'd missed something. Somewhere in there people made the bonds that they will keep for the rest of their lives, and I missed out, or at least that's how I felt that first year.

And maybe it's how I feel a little still. All my friends seem interconnected, relaxed with each other. Partly because they've all been dating each other (in varying couples) since they were ten. I spent all that time at home... well, reading. my best friends were my cat and the Internet. The 'net was my only real connection with the outside world; in homeschooling groups, I mainly remained shy and reserved. Stayed away from people. I'm paying for that now.

I messed up really bad with a person I like. I did something fucked up, because I was going with my hormones and state of mind, and I swear to never do something like that again. I don't think I can look them in the face anymore. Not because anything happened, but because I resorted to the anonymiety of online to say what I should have said to his face.

Relationships? I'm a teenager. I'm full of hormones. I want one. It would straighten me out. And I fear one. Because it could quite possibly swallow me whole, even more so than life has done. I have spent so much time building up the idea that I don't want a relationship that I have come to believe it along with everyone else, even when the very slightest of mental connections sets off the longing for one. I am not wearing the illusion that I am asexual. It has just built itself up around me until I cannot tell if that is what I really am or not.

I needed to write that out. And clear my brain of that little bit of clutter.


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PostPosted: Wed Apr 28, 2004 2:27 am 


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PostPosted: Wed Apr 28, 2004 4:16 am 


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PostPosted: Wed Apr 28, 2004 9:17 pm 


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