I like to think I'm an accomplished home chef. I always cook for my friends, I've made pasta from scratch, I can cook at least three dishes from each continent (except Antarctica, smartasses), and I just love getting down and dirty in a kitchen.
But even I have one horror story.
Here's the list of ingredients for your generic tapioca pudding.
Ten ounces of tapioca
1 quart of milk
6 ounces of sugar
6 yolks of eggs
2 whipped whites
the grated rind of a lemon
2 ounces of butter
and a little salt.
See, I had a box of tapioca I was reading this off of. I missed the part where it says 'ten ounces' of tapioca. I just tossed in the whole box worth.
I didn't have tapioca. I had wall spackle. Literally. I checked in on it, and it had the exact same consistancy of stuff I've used to patch holes in walls.
I broke two wooden spoons, a spatula, and bent a metal spoon beyond all hope of repair just trying to force that stuff out of the pot.
If we had tried to use it to reinforce the apartment, that place would never have fallen down. In the Discworld, there's Dwarf Bread. I made a batch of Dwarf Pudding.