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 Post subject:
PostPosted: Thu Oct 28, 2004 7:14 pm 
I bet you are pretty proud of that.


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 Post subject:
PostPosted: Thu Oct 28, 2004 11:21 pm 
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Knight of Daisies, Tulip Slayer
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Joined: Sat May 11, 2002 3:03 am
Posts: 1621
Location: Sector ZZ9 Plural Z Alpha
Justifiably so.

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 Post subject:
PostPosted: Fri Oct 29, 2004 12:51 pm 
[10:42:06] <Raif> refresh me on who merril lynch is?
[10:42:38] <Vornicus> investment firm. "We make money the old fashioned way: we earn it."
[10:42:57] * Raif isn't sure investment counts as earning.
[10:43:13] <Vornicus> yes, well.
[10:44:25] <Raif> "We make money the old fashioned way: We hire somebody else to earn it."
[10:46:35] <Raif> Vorn: I'll give you a cookie if you earn me 5 dollars.
[10:47:14] <Pronto> Don't do it Vorn!
[10:47:21] <Pronto> Hold out for 2 cookies!
[10:47:38] <Pronto> And then give me half a cookie....
[10:47:50] <Pronto> (And thus the labor union is born)
[10:47:51] <Cap`n`Kyth> ...
[10:47:59] * Raif snrks.
[10:48:27] * Raif pays pronto off with one cookie to avoid giving vorn two.
[10:48:30] * Cap`n`Kyth drops a nuke on the union. Boom. Thus the labor union is obliterated.
[10:48:48] <Pronto> Ok, Vorn, we signed the contract. Get to work!
[10:49:37] <Pronto> And, Vorn? Thanks for voting for me.


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 Post subject:
PostPosted: Fri Oct 29, 2004 10:54 pm 
[12:54:36] <Vornicus> ARGFUCK
[12:56:00] * Raif argfucks vorn.
[12:56:20] <Vornicus> eew.
[12:56:33] * Vornicus kills raif messily.
[12:56:39] * Raif woots.
[12:56:58] <Chalain> ARGFUCK should be a parameter passing mechanism.


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 Post subject:
PostPosted: Sat Oct 30, 2004 1:32 pm 
[11:02:12] * Pi summons a fire elemental to hump Vornicus's leg.
[11:04:21] * Vornicus wonders what he did to earn a fire elemental.
[11:04:32] * Vornicus extinguishes said elemental.
[11:08:13] * Vornicus floons
[11:15:27] <Pi> You looked lonely.
[11:18:33] <Vornicus> i wasn't.
[11:18:42] <Vornicus> not THAT lonely, anyway.


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 Post subject:
PostPosted: Sat Oct 30, 2004 5:48 pm 
[18:45] * Gerald picos Tom
[18:45] <TheChio> Ew, Tom.
[18:46] <TheChio> I don't want none o' your SEXENGS/SEXINGS.
[18:46] <Tom-1> Good.
[18:46] * Gerald picos Chi
[18:46] <Tom-1> Cuz you cant have em/
[18:46] * Gerald picos ni
[18:46] <Tom-1> I meant to say Ni anyway.
[18:46] <TheChio> GERALD FOR THE LOVE OF GORP WHAT IS PICO?!


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 Post subject:
PostPosted: Sat Oct 30, 2004 7:11 pm 
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Concession Worker
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Joined: Tue Jul 01, 2003 5:26 pm
Posts: 1479
Location: R'lyeh
Old, but it's the quote that inspired a full 1/3 of my sig :)

<X-G>PFNGLMULTITEXCOORD2FARBPROC... sounds a bit... Lovecraftian...

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 Post subject:
PostPosted: Sun Nov 07, 2004 9:43 pm 
[21:33] * Gerald looks around. Sees new people here..
[21:33] <Gerald> Okay.
[21:33] <Gerald> Time to tell you the Gollum action figure story.
[21:33] <Kaddy> heee!
[21:34] <Gerald> If you get the bendy Gollum LotR figure... and lift up the loin cloth...
[21:34] <Gerald> Not only do you see his well sculpted buttocks, but also... a nub.
[21:34] <Liamslider> O_O
[21:34] * Kaddy attempts to not die of laughter.
[21:34] <Loki> >.<
[21:35] <Gerald> Brings a whole new meaning to "nasty, fat, hobittess" don't it?
[21:35] <Gerald> Gollum and Sam? Sam's packing.
[21:35] <Gerald> And Gollum just can't compete.
[21:35] <Loki> Liam, no, but anyone that wants to "oil someone up and use them like a diaper" scares me!
[21:35] <Gerald> The Ring rotted off little Smeggy
[21:37] <Gerald> ...I take it from the silence I have scarred you for life, yet again.
[21:37] *** Anh_Minh has joined channel #itswalky!
[21:37] * wingsover is scrubbing mind
[21:37] <Kaddy> Not quite.
[21:38] <Kaddy> ...was too busy laughing to type.
[21:38] * wingsover will never buy LOTR figures
[21:38] * wingsover never has, come to think of it
[21:38] <Gerald> Awww
[21:39] * Gerald has... two aragorns, two gollums, four ringwraths, galadrial, eowyn, saruman, elrond, gandalf
[21:39] <Gerald> I want to find a wormtongue.
[21:39] <Kaddy> ooooh.
[21:39] <Kaddy> Yes.
[21:40] <Kaddy> Because he's just creepy.
[21:40] <Gerald> He's so awesome.
[21:40] <Gerald> Oh.
[21:40] <Gerald> And Galadrial doesn/t have any undies on.
[21:41] <Gerald> Saruman, thankfully, does.
[21:41] <Liamslider> Well...she IS an elf...
[21:41] <Kaddy> o.O
[21:41] <Gerald> So.
[21:41] <Gerald> I can bend Galadrial over and pull her skirt up
[21:41] <Gerald> Put Gollum behind it and lift up his loincloft.
[21:42] <Liamslider> :_D
[21:42] <Liamslider> :-D
[21:42] <Gerald> Hot Hot Hot Decayed Hobbit-Elf sexxengs
[21:42] <Kaddy> ...
[21:42] <Kaddy> .......
[21:42] <Kaddy> ...okay, perhaps that is scarring.


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 Post subject:
PostPosted: Tue Nov 09, 2004 8:58 pm 
[17:49] * LynziGraye blinkblinks
[17:49] <LynziGraye> ...y'all are weird.
[17:49] * LynziGraye grins
[17:49] <Gerald> Yesh.
[17:49] <Jeremiah> We are not.
[17:49] * Gerald is pretty fucked up
[17:49] <Pronto> I am.
[17:49] <Pronto> That too.
[17:50] * LynziGraye is fucked up, too. Just quieter about it.
[17:50] * Pronto is one fucked up CT sailor.
[17:50] <Pronto> Make some noise. It's cool.
[17:50] * Gerald is more fucked up than a Thai schoolgirl.
[17:50] <Pronto> lol
[17:50] <Pronto> Thats pretty fucked up. :)
[17:50] <Pronto> But I'm more fucked up than you.
[17:51] <Jeremiah> Gerald isn't pretty, fucked up or not.
[17:51] * Dark_Tiger notes that IHHO, Ger is the most fucked up of all of us.
[17:51] <Gerald> ...IHHO?
[17:52] <Gerald> oooohj
[17:52] <Gerald> gotcha
[17:52] * Kaddy is fucked up. But tries very hard to hide it.
[17:52] <Dark_Tiger> In his humble opinion.
[17:52] <Jeremiah> You're not humble.
[17:52] <Dark_Tiger> Only Ger has requested to be drawn being tentacle raped, then used said drawing as his avatar.


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 Post subject:
PostPosted: Wed Nov 10, 2004 10:37 pm 
[21:32] <joey-tech> ANOTHER SPOOFING CALL
[21:32] <joey-tech> wtf
[21:32] <kreely> It's a serious outbreak of mydoom.ag
[21:32] <brandi_tech> and it likes you joey :)


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 Post subject:
PostPosted: Sun Nov 21, 2004 5:35 pm 
[16:22] * lee has joined #schlock_mercenary
[16:22] <kreely> hey Lee
[16:22] <lee> I have an important message.
[16:22] <Raif> Oh bloody 'ell.
[16:23] * kreely snickers...
[16:23] <kreely> Scared, Raif?
[16:23] <Raif> Searching for Das Boot.
[16:23] * Raif grins. :)
[16:23] * Deathstalker has quit IRC (Client exited)
[16:23] <Raif> And I just took my boots off...
[16:23] * Lurk is now known as Bob
[16:24] <lee> damn you, kreely. damn you to hell!
[16:24] * kreely blinks
[16:24] <lee> now I'm gonna have to read the entire archive
[16:24] * Deathstalker has joined #schlock_mercenary
[16:24] * kreely blinks even more?
[16:25] <lee> this is one webcomic I've seen advertised a lot, but never started reading
[16:25] <lee> now I'm hooked :P
[16:25] * kreely snickers
[16:25] <kreely> At least I'm good for something beyond bukkake


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 Post subject:
PostPosted: Wed Dec 08, 2004 2:09 am 
[00:35] * Pi-1 beats the fuck out of nickserv.
[00:35] * Mezzler points and laughs *
[00:35] <Mezzler> HARDER!
[00:36] * Pi-1 beats nickserv until it has no fuck left.
[00:36] <Mezzler> I like that
[00:36] * Pi-1 is now known as Pi
[00:37] * Jeremiah renders Nickserv bereft of fuck.
[00:37] * Bob is just waiting for one of you lot to fuck Nickserve senseless.
[00:38] <Ogredude> Are you tired of it now, Pi?
[00:38] <Ogredude> Here's a cigarette.
[00:38] <Ogredude> I just bought Nickserv for a cigarette. And Pi doesn't even smoke!
[00:38] * Mezzler points * " atleast we know who to use for sales pitches now "
[00:39] <Pi> It's a new marketing pitch. "Our Nickserv has no fuck."
[00:39] <Mezzler> hell yeah
[00:39] <Mezzler> hahah
[00:39] <Mezzler> and gives none either
[00:40] <Mezzler> http://news.bbc.co.uk/1/hi/sci/tech/3948165.stm
[00:40] <Jeremiah> "We took the 'fuck' out of 'Nickserv'."
[00:40] <Mezzler> for all you LOTD freaks, I just want to say, I hope your happy
[00:42] <kreely> what'll put the fuck back in nickserv?
[00:42] <Mezzler> lube
[00:43] <kreely> should we add pinky the dildo too?
[00:43] <Pi> Lots of it.
[00:43] <kreely> lots of dildos?
[00:44] <Pi> PinkFreud and lube.
[00:44] <kreely> use chai
[00:45] <kreely> pi ran out of fuck
[00:45] <kreely> great
[00:46] <Pi> It's this new grain diet I'm on.
[00:46] <Pi> There is no fuck in whey.
[00:46] <Raif> Hah, denied!


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 Post subject:
PostPosted: Wed Dec 15, 2004 4:29 pm 
[15:10] <jd_tech> hi
[15:10] <Son_Tech> go away jd
[15:10] <jd_tech> shutup son.
[15:10] <brandi_tech> hi
[15:10] <Sup-Patrick> ...
[15:11] <Son_Tech> >.<
[15:11] <trn_lisa> behave now...remember, santa's watching
[15:11] <Jaketech> bah
[15:11] <Jaketech> jesus is watching
[15:11] <Jaketech> i found him btw
[15:11] <Jaketech> he was behind the couch the whole time
[15:13] <DRH_Tech> later all, time to go, have fun... if you can, and lisa. i got santa paided off, im good either way :)
[15:17] * Jaketech charges Santa with money laundering, imbezzlement, avoiding local and federal income tax, and fraud
[15:18] <SteveR_Tech> ooooooook
[15:20] -> [trn_lisa] PING
[15:20] <trn_lisa> Great...another childhood myth derailed.
[15:20] <trn_lisa> Thanks Jake =)
[15:21] <Jaketech> The only way one can produce goods is by purchasing other goods. The north pole lacks the raw material with which to create toys, which means he must rely on a source of trade. He pays no tarriff, nor does he claim his toy production company on any kind of tax form. In other words, he's creating inflation.
[15:22] <Jaketech> How does he pay his elves? Do they get 401k?
[15:22] <Jaketech> He's got to be laundering money.
[15:22] <Jaketech> :D
[15:24] <trn_Roberts> I take it then that elvin shops are non union
[15:24] <Jaketech> Who knows. If they were, Santa would still be required to match income and provide benefits
[15:25] <Jaketech> And even then, there is no way to regulate his industry to ensure he's not running it like a sweatshop
[15:25] <trn_lisa> Medical would be hard to justify. No hospitals at the North Pole
[15:25] <trn_lisa> Do elves have teeth?
[15:26] <Jaketech> Well, since good 'ol Herbie became a dentist...
[15:26] <Jaketech> ;)
[15:26] <brandi_tech> :)
[15:27] <Jaketech> If he provides and maintains brand-name goods without license from the companies, then we can also throw the patens laws his way
[15:27] <Jaketech> woot
[15:27] <Jaketech> *patent
[15:27] <Jaketech> Santa's goin down!
[15:27] <Tech-Patrick> good old Patens and his law.


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 Post subject: gotta love work
PostPosted: Thu Jan 20, 2005 6:29 pm 
[17:24] <tech_rj> do you know how to get my gui back?
[17:25] <trn_kreely> Put a lost ad on the back of a milk carton?


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 Post subject:
PostPosted: Mon Feb 07, 2005 3:37 pm 
[14:29] <aa-tech> µ
[14:29] * trn_kreely eyes aaronc.
[14:29] <trn_kreely> try Pi?
[14:30] * aa-tech grins most cheezily!
[14:30] <aa-tech> nah, Pi means something
[14:30] <Techy-L> lol
[14:30] <C_Tech> Pi was 2.14 right
[14:30] <aa-tech> in fact, it mans a LOT of something!
[14:30] <trn_kreely> 3.14 non repeating
[14:30] <C_Tech> oh
[14:30] <C_Tech> that too
[14:30] <aa-tech> 3.14etc
[14:30] <C_Tech> been too long
[14:30] * C_Tech sighs
[14:30] <aa-tech> well yeah, the # doesn't end
[14:31] <Techy-L> lets see if i remeber right id 3.14159275
[14:31] <trn_kreely> It's an irration number sequence
[14:31] <trn_kreely> irrational even
[14:31] <aa-tech> on the nose luke!
[14:31] <C_Tech> Ok go no more technical than that
[14:31] <C_Tech> Otherwise bodies fall down
[14:31] <Techy-L> i used to know more but that was many of days ago
[14:31] <J_Tech> dont lie!
[14:31] <D_Tech> all numbers are irrational and should therefore be ignored
[14:31] <aa-tech> that's about as far as I ever bothered learning
[14:32] <Techy-L> lol
[14:32] <J_Tech> no one will believe that white lie
[14:32] <trn_kreely> this is the Pi that never ends, it just goes on and on my friend. some people started counting it, not knowing what it was. And they'll continue counting it forever just because this is the Pi that never ends...
[14:32] <J_Tech> keep goin....
[14:33] <J_Tech> untill the end of the day
[14:33] <trn_kreely> I am Josh, just mentally. It's stuck in my head now.


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 Post subject:
PostPosted: Mon Feb 07, 2005 4:59 pm 
Evil earworm post.


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 Post subject:
PostPosted: Tue Feb 08, 2005 1:15 pm 
Specifically, Pi is a transcendental number.


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 Post subject:
PostPosted: Thu Mar 10, 2005 9:50 pm 
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Concession Worker
Concession Worker
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Joined: Tue Jul 01, 2003 5:26 pm
Posts: 1479
Location: R'lyeh
From a forum I spend way too much time on:

"The thing that really annoys me about women is that they talk a lot more than men, yet the real message is in the nonverbal cues. If they're going to communicate nonverbally, they could at least do us the courtesy of shutting their noisy cakeholes. And they wonder why we don't listen."

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 Post subject:
PostPosted: Sun Apr 03, 2005 11:00 pm 
<Aerilon> beanybabyfacehugger...
<Aerilon> 0.o
<Aerilon> Could be worse.
<Aerilon> Beany Baby Face Fucker
* Birdboy giggles at Echo
<Neco_On_Fire> Great. Now I'm picturing a Face Hugger Vibrator.
<Neco_On_Fire> ITS NOT A NICE IMAGE!
<Birdboy> O.o
<Samalander> heheh
<Birdboy> Did you click my video link, Neco?
<Samalander> face hugger money shot!~ >.>
<Birdboy> AGH!
<Hyou-Chan> ...pfffft
<Birdboy> NO!
<Neco_On_Fire> BB:I'm on dial-up
* Birdboy stabs Sam
<Neco_On_Fire> Its going to be awhile...
<Birdboy> Oh. Poor Neco
<Birdboy> Well, it's worth it
<Samalander> oooooooooorrrrrrr..FACE HUGGER BUKKAKE!!! *FLEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE*
* Birdboy garrotes Samalander


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 Post subject:
PostPosted: Fri Apr 08, 2005 3:22 pm 
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Concession Worker
Concession Worker
User avatar

Joined: Tue Jul 01, 2003 5:26 pm
Posts: 1479
Location: R'lyeh
From a mission debriefing on the mailing list for a tactical RPG (based on the Alien movies) I play:
(I wasn't on this mission, so don't blame me...)

Quote:
"Apparently, the order "don't shoot civilians" will have to be simplified further to avoid this for example:

Cold-bloodedly mowing down fleeing civilians - 3 Psycho Points
Execution of wounded civilian - 1 Psycho Point
Unprovoked violence against a minor - 1 Psycho Point
Indirect fire against civilian buildings - 1 Psycho Point
Firing upon civilian vehicle - 1 Psycho Point
Causing indirect damage on civilians during fire against non-military targets - 1 Psycho Point x 2

So quite a number of Psycho Points were awarded. This despite that not a single bullet was fired against the player group during the entire mission. The group on the other hand expended about one and a half boxes of smart gun ammunition, a bit of ordinary 10 mm and 9 mm and one ATS-7 ground attack missile."



Ahh... when role players attack.

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Living in a state free from the burdens of privacy and democracy since 2008-06-18.


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 Post subject:
PostPosted: Fri Apr 08, 2005 3:34 pm 
Thats the way I play RPGs...
"What'd'ya mean it was an illegal target? It moved, didn't it?!"


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 Post subject:
PostPosted: Thu Apr 14, 2005 8:14 pm 
[18:00] <Pi> You may pounce on the cat as he walks on his lone,
[18:00] <Pi> the mole has a hole into which you can crawl,
[18:00] <Pi> you must blindfold the basilisk or turn into stone,
[18:00] <Pi> but the hedgehog can never be buggered at all.
[18:01] * Dark choruses 'Oh the hedgehog can never be buggered at all!'
[18:01] <Pronto> ...everyone else has had more sex than me....
[18:01] <Raif> We know.
[18:01] <kreely> does anybody else get that feeling?
[18:01] <Pronto> Tho it would appear that Pi and Dark have had more animal sex.
[18:02] <kreely> they ain't nuthin' but mammals
[18:02] <Pronto> they ain't doing nothing but mammals


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 Post subject:
PostPosted: Fri Apr 15, 2005 12:51 am 
<Pi> Man, GPF's poor shark has been jumped so many times it's got its own agent.
<Vermilion> It's been jumped so many times it's got its own pimp.


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 Post subject:
PostPosted: Thu May 05, 2005 8:55 pm 
i'm back.

who missed me? :D


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 Post subject:
PostPosted: Thu May 12, 2005 11:30 pm 
* trousers has left #buuthandi (PHILISTINES!)
* drake runs around in the #buuthandi without trousers
* trousers has joined #buuthandi
<trousers> I can see I can't leave here ever again.


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 Post subject:
PostPosted: Mon Jun 20, 2005 1:49 pm 
[11:34] <Kerlyssa> ....I always knew Verm was the devil's lovechild....
[11:34] <Pi> Evvill!! EEEEEEEVVVVILLLL, I say!
[11:34] * kreely LOLS
[11:35] <kreely> no comment from teh vermi on that one
[11:35] <kreely> oops, he says "Kerly loves me and she knows it. She's just disappointed that she can't have my babies"
[11:36] * PinkFreud whistles annoyingly, just within hearing.
[11:36] * DarthSleep has quit IRC (Connection reset by peer)
[11:37] <Kerlyssa> ...yeah. my ovaries just shrivelled up and died in self defense there.
[11:37] * DarthSleep has joined #schlock_mercenary
[11:37] <Kerlyssa> Way to take one for the team, guys.
[11:37] * Kerlyssa patpats her abdomen and heads out. Ta.


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 Post subject:
PostPosted: Mon Jun 20, 2005 3:30 pm 
kreely wrote:
[11:34] <Kerlyssa> ....I always knew Verm was the devil's lovechild....
[11:34] <Pi> Evvill!! EEEEEEEVVVVILLLL, I say!
[11:34] * kreely LOLS
[11:35] <kreely> no comment from teh vermi on that one
[11:35] <kreely> oops, he says "Kerly loves me and she knows it. She's just disappointed that she can't have my babies"
[11:36] * PinkFreud whistles annoyingly, just within hearing.
[11:36] * DarthSleep has quit IRC (Connection reset by peer)
[11:37] <Kerlyssa> ...yeah. my ovaries just shrivelled up and died in self defense there.
[11:37] * DarthSleep has joined #schlock_mercenary
[11:37] <Kerlyssa> Way to take one for the team, guys.
[11:37] * Kerlyssa patpats her abdomen and heads out. Ta.


Another satisfied customer.


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 Post subject:
PostPosted: Sat Aug 06, 2005 1:04 am 
[22:55] <TheVoiceWithin> Yo!
[22:55] <TheVoiceWithin> It's the kreelymeister!
[22:56] <kreely> in the flesh =)
* Retrieving #Schlock_Mercenary info...
[22:56] * Pi has joined #Schlock_Mercenary
[22:56] * ChanServ sets mode: +o Pi
[22:56] <TheVoiceWithin> Ugh. Pi.
[22:56] * kreely snickers
[22:57] <TheVoiceWithin> AGH! I NEED A SCALPEL!
[22:57] <kreely> run?
[22:57] <TheVoiceWithin> I GOT A *KREELY* STUCK IN MY FLESH!
[22:57] * Pi summons a glass elemental to hump TheVoiceWithin's leg.
[22:57] <kreely> I don't think he needs a humping to get rid of me
[22:58] <TheVoiceWithin> Well, maybe.
[22:58] <TheVoiceWithin> But not from an elemental.
[22:58] * Pi points and laughs at TheVoiceWithin
[22:58] <TheVoiceWithin> Oh, my God. I can't believe I just typed that.


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 Post subject:
PostPosted: Sun Aug 21, 2005 12:29 pm 
<gnolam|plague> I've either begun to hallucinate, or I just saw my neighbor outside his door, in just his underwear and a teddy bear around his neck, carrying an office chair.
<gnolam|plague> -assorted commas
<Attilla> ...
<Aurora> ...
<Attilla> how weird
<Aurora> Yes, very strange indeed.
<gnolam|plague> And now he seems to be having a heated argument with someone in Russian.
<Attilla> switch to sweish
<Attilla> *sweidh
<Attilla> **swedish, damnit
<Attilla> somehow.
<Pi> We've secretly replaced Attilla's typing skills with New Folgers Crystals. Let's see if he notices.

(sometime later)
<Pi> You will fear the ancient Order of Bukkake Ninjas.
<Attilla> ....
<Attilla> ...
<Attilla> ..
<Attilla> .
<Attilla> ..
<Attilla> ...
<Attilla> ....
<Pi> You will. Really.
<Attilla> I already dod.
<Attilla> *do.
<Attilla> DAMN YOU FOLGERS CRYSTALS!


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 Post subject: gotta love work...
PostPosted: Sat Sep 24, 2005 11:52 am 
kreely [2:57 PM]:
I'm playing with my brain

Capt Slinky [2:57 PM]:
Don't do that! You'll go blind!

GK [2:58 PM]:
Kinky!

GK [2:59 PM]:
I didn't think that was legal in this state.

kreely [2:59 PM]:
I can...you see there are these holes in my brain that I can insert things
into

kreely [2:59 PM]:
like ideas and thoughts and occasionally pencils


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