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PostPosted: Fri Apr 20, 2007 4:04 am 
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* LastAmorphStanding breaks the Lurk Law! LastAmorphStanding is a one-man crimewave.
<gnolam> LAS fought the law and the, law won.
* LastAmorphStanding did manage to land a good right hook to the Law's jaw first, though.
<gnolam> I fought the LAW and the LAW punched a hole in my APC.
<Vermilion> And I'll bet it wasn't under warranty.
<AnnoDomini> I fought the Law and all I got was these striped pyjamas.
<Attilla> I fought the LaW and formed a radioactive alloy.


Edited for brevity.

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PostPosted: Sat May 05, 2007 10:05 am 
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<Tekkie> I'll bet your home owners association would have something to say about Tesla coils.


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PostPosted: Fri May 11, 2007 5:36 pm 
<MSminion> New unbreakable encryption algorithm: For integers M, N, perform (52*M) iterations of RotN encryption to get ciphertext.
<MSminion> It's immune to brute force because it has a variable (but large) number of iterations, and it's immune to cryptanalysis because you use a different M and N for each message.
* MSminion patents it, and then sends the DMCA after anybody that tries to crack it.
<Vornicus> So, uh
<Vornicus> Are you using that algorithm now?
<MSminion> Duh, no. If I was, you wouldn't be able to tell what I'm talking about.
<Vornicus> heh
<MSminion> Now I am. You can't read this line under threat of patent litigation and the DMCA.
<Vornicus> pfff
<Vornicus> I prefer my algorithm. It's encryption /and/ compression!
<MSminion>
* Vornicus sues the pants off MSminion.
* MSminion wanders around without pants.
<Vornicus> ...it occurs to me that this was unwise.


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PostPosted: Fri Jun 01, 2007 7:39 pm 
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<Kazriko> speaking of desserted things, did you hear about the ship full of blue and red dye that crashed near a deserted island?
<Kazriko> The crew was all marooned.
<Grue> *rimshot*
* Kazriko wanders off
<Vermilion> Purple prose by any other name.
<AnnaElsewhere> hahaha
* Kazriko messed that up, but it still works if the ratio of red to blue is 3:1
<Vermilion> Well, I have been knwon to exhibit violet tendencies.

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PostPosted: Sun Jun 17, 2007 10:52 pm 
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The numbers have been changed to protect the silly.

<Chalain> Reminder to room: Chalain's phone number is 555-5555.
<Chalain> If you don't know the area code, you don't get to call.
<Chalain> ...but it's 555.

Vorn


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 Post subject:
PostPosted: Mon Jun 18, 2007 1:56 pm 
<ToxicFrog> What is it with people not reading the manual?
<ToxicFrog> "Durr! I think I'll just type in random function signatures until I get something the compiler will accept!"
<UndeadAnno> Pfft.
<UndeadAnno> Sounds like something I do on a regular basis.
[11:29:52] <ToxicFrog> Do you then go on IRC and ask for help because your confused, gibbon-like thrashing has failed to produce a working program?
<UndeadAnno> No...
<ToxicFrog> Then you aren't part of the problem :P
<UndeadAnno> Then I read the manual. <_<
<ToxicFrog> Some people, however, go on IRC and say "hey, I'm trying to make a C function you can call from Lua like foo { ... }, but lua_Table * foo(lua_Table *) isn't working"
<ToxicFrog> And then I have to stab them in the face.
<GeekSoldier> how about: "I'm trying to rewrite the linux kernel in QBasic, and am having trouble initializing any sort of bootstrap code. HELP!"
<ToxicFrog> Haven't seen that one yet.
<GeekSoldier> I'm trying to rewrite the linux kernel in QBasic, and am having trouble initializing any sort of bootstrap code. HELP!
* ToxicFrog applies thirty centimeters of sharpened steel to GS's brainmeats
<GeekSoldier> all I have so far is:
<GeekSoldier> 10 print "isolinux 2.6.2"
<GeekSoldier> what should I do next?
<Pi> Boot Windows Vista.
<Vornicus> A cruel fate, but well earned.


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PostPosted: Tue Jul 03, 2007 2:02 pm 
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Because this is a meme that has to be spread:

<Pi> I hereby decree that the correct pronunciation of the acronym "RSS" shall be "arse"

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 Post subject:
PostPosted: Tue Jul 03, 2007 2:34 pm 
(see above post)

<Pi> So now, whenever somebody tells you that their blog uses rss syndication, you knwo what they mean.
<Pi> And staring at somebody's rss feeds is now put into the correct context.


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PostPosted: Tue Jul 24, 2007 2:56 pm 
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<aoanla> That quote about IE/Firefox etc just being browsers is like someone driving a car with no locks on the doors and complaining that people shouldn't tell them not to, because "it's a car, and they can still drive it".
<aoanla> Yes, they can, but they can't complain when someone nicks it.
<ToxicFrog> Quite so.
<ToxicFrog> Except, as a rule, when someone nicks your car, they don't then install a remote control in it, return it to you, wait for you take it out on the road, and use the remote control to start running over pedestrians.


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 Post subject:
PostPosted: Wed Aug 08, 2007 2:04 pm 
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Edited for brevity. Further edited to protect identities; pity it doesn't make sense anymore. Yet again edited with better ideas.

<MsJohnson> Both of my brothers got simple names. I asked why hadn't I got something like Ashley or whatnot :P
<MrSmith> What was the answer?
<MrJones> Liz isn't a simple name? OR HAVE YOU BEEN LYING TO US?
<MsJohnson> "We didn't like any of those names. We agreed on your name."
<MsJohnson> MrJones: That would be my IRL nickame to spare me the horror of having someone try to pronounce my name
<MrJones> Elizabeth? Or is it something much... longer?
<MsJohnson> Teehee
<MsJohnson> Elizabeth isn't hard to pronounce :P
<MrSmith> MrJones: It's -name snipped-, IIRC.
<MsJohnson> ^
<MrJones> Sounds like a new form of fuel.
<MsJohnson> Die.

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Last edited by AnnoDomini on Wed Feb 06, 2008 6:09 pm, edited 5 times in total.

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 Post subject:
PostPosted: Tue Aug 14, 2007 12:52 pm 
<Reiver> I note that a snerk from me is pretty impressive.
<Reiver> *click* *click* *click* *click* "Heh." *click* *click* *click*...
<Reiver> "What are you doing?" "Reading webcomics."
<Reiver> ¬¬
<Chalain> When you write it like that, it's like the world's least dangerous game of russian roulette.


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 Post subject:
PostPosted: Fri Sep 21, 2007 5:34 pm 
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<MSminion> There is a tool here called the Package Object Resource Group Assembler.
<MSminion> And yes, the tool's binary is porgasm.exe


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 Post subject:
PostPosted: Thu Feb 14, 2008 10:08 am 
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Warning - the contents of this post might not be suitable for the weak of mind.

<ErikMesoy> Also, I can shoot dragons with EB.
<AnnoDomini> With -4 to most active things?
<ChrisAsmadi> It's probably immune
<ErikMesoy> Dragon. Touch AC.
<AnnoDomini> ErikMesoy: Spell Resistance?
<ErikMesoy> Not all dragons have that IIRC
<AnnoDomini> This one has Frightful Presence, hence it's at least a Young Adult.
<AnnoDomini> Those do have SR.
<AnnoDomini> Dragons gain Frightful Presence, Spellcasting and Spell Resistance at puberty.
<ErikMesoy> Stop it. You're giving me nasty mental images.
<AnnoDomini> What?
<ErikMesoy> Dragon puberty. Hormone surges, pimples, lots of sheer silliness.
<Reiver> Hmm. Just learning how to control their arcane power...
<Reiver> I wonder if they have the magic equivalent of wet dreams?
<Reiver> And, if we extend the metaphor, does this mean that older dragons really are better lovers? <g>
* AnnoDomini just imagined something. >_<
* AnnoDomini goes get the brain bleach.
<ErikMesoy> SEE?
* Reiver ...
<Reiver> Ohmygods.
<Attilla> Go to sleep, Reiver.
<Reiver> Everyone knows Dragons Can Mate With Bloody Well Anything, right?
* ErikMesoy pops over to #egs for more brain bleach, hands it out.
<Reiver> That's because they reproduce via magic
<Remmon> No, they reproduce via sexual activity
<Reiver> Sorcerous magic comes from dragon spooge
<ErikMesoy> LMAO
<Remmon> You might want to pour some of that brain bleach over Reiver
* AnnoDomini just imagined a material power-up component.
<Remmon> And Anno might need more as well now
<Reiver> And now, I bid ye farewell, with just what 'eschew magic materials' uses as a substitute. Internalising the source, as it were...
<ErikMesoy> Someone needs to post this in the spam thread or the random encounter thread somehow.
<Reiver> This, of course, is why female sorcerors are essentially required to dress slutty - they can't make the stuff themselves, so they have to outsource. <g>
<ErikMesoy> Okay, the nasty mental images have now gone away in favor of hilarious mental images, but please stop it nonetheless. Because now you're giving me ideas for bad fantasy porn fics instead.
<Attilla> Man, St. Valentine's Day doesn't hit the nerd population well, does it? :P

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 Post subject:
PostPosted: Fri Feb 15, 2008 9:04 am 
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<Attilla> Yay. Abandoned uranium mine.
<Attilla> Some of it went off the scale (of 500 counts/sec)
<gnohate> Been on a field trip? :)
<Attilla> Yep!
<gnohate> Trying out toys? :)
<Attilla> Maaaybe
<Demonius> i'd say thats only rem-otely interesting
* Attilla throws Demonius down the mineshaft.
<Demonius> ok, it wasnt that good.
<gnohate> But not that bad either. I'd say it's in a Gray area.
<UndeadAnno> >_<
<gnohate> (See! Now /that/ joke was totally rad!)
<UndeadAnno> >_<
<Attilla> Becq! Becq with the terrible puns!

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 Post subject:
PostPosted: Fri Feb 22, 2008 3:07 pm 
<Chalain> The Man is a hot sauce that has sex with other hot sauces, if by "has sex with" you understand me to mean "gang rapes in prison".
<Chalain> It is hand-made by Gene, a superhero whose superpower is that he hand-makes The Man. By day, he is the mild-mannered proprietor of Dixie's BBQ Shack.


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PostPosted: Fri Feb 22, 2008 3:54 pm 
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Russian barely knows English and speaks Russian with latin alphabet using English sounds. Pole barely knows Russian and speaks it with latin alphabet using Polish sounds.

* Lutamona (~Lutamona@83.149.32.ns-4087) has joined #Chernobyl2008
<Lutamona> í˙!!
<Lutamona> ęňî đŕůăîâŕđčâŕĺň ďî đóńńęč?
<Lutamona> do you speak in Russia?
<Lutamona> =))
<AnnoDomini> If I were in Russia, I suppose I would note lose the ability to speak.
<AnnoDomini> *not
<Lutamona> mmm... what?)))
<AnnoDomini> Niet. Ja nie pagadi pa russki.
<Lutamona> tak yasno?
<Lutamona> =0)
<AnnoDomini> Um... ja nie panimaju. Płocha russki.
<Lutamona> ti ponimaesh po russki ili net?
<Lutamona> ili po minimumu?
<AnnoDomini> Niet panimaju.
<AnnoDomini> Eto wsio szto gadajet.
<Lutamona> mmm... u tabya transliy nemnogo neponyatnuy!
<Lutamona> pochemu kanal chernobyl?
<AnnoDomini> Ja nie panimaju. Chernobyl patamu my tam wajdiot.
<Lutamona> chto takoe "wajdiot"?
<AnnoDomini> My turysty?
<Lutamona> BLYAT' IDI NAhUY ZAEBAL!!!! UCHI OLBANSKIY MUDILA!!!! UBEYSYA OB STENU!!!
<AnnoDomini> Ja nie panimaju, ili... ja panimaju szto eto 'blyat'.
<AnnoDomini> >:)
<AnnoDomini> gnolam: Kick 'em, eh?
<Lutamona> ))) uge horosho!
<Lutamona> =))
<Lutamona> mmm... for english: FUCK! GO IN ASS!!!! SAY FOR ALBANIAN!!!! GO IN WALL IS POISON!!!
<Lutamona> OK?))
<AnnoDomini> Okay. This I understand.
<Lutamona> bay bay!
<AnnoDomini> Bye.
* Lutamona (~Lutamona@83.149.32.ns-4087) Quit (Quit: )

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 Post subject:
PostPosted: Thu Mar 13, 2008 6:19 am 
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<Amato> how are you?
<Amato> hopefully not spending $4300 an hour on hookers
<Deathstalker> 4300$
<Deathstalker> ?
<PinkFreud> damn, you caught me
* PinkFreud is Client 9
<Amato> the governor of new york got caught, deathstalker, overpaying for poontang
<PinkFreud> Amato: heh. more than that.
<Deathstalker> Ah, I hadn't heard how much he spent.
<Amato> i suppose that is marginally better than being#10
<Deathstalker> Seems really stupid.
<PinkFreud> he built his career, first as Attorney General for NY, and then as NY's governor, on going after corruption. He even nailed a prostitution ring,
<PinkFreud> ... and now he's caught up in one.
<Deathstalker> Doesn't surprise me much though. A lot of people who crusade for 'morality' are often some of the least moral people in reality.
<PinkFreud> yeah. just look at Tehran's police chief.
<Amato> some are wondering if this is one of those cases where gang A gets the cops to bust gangs B, C, and D
<Amato> pinkfreud, he at least got the six-pack deal
<PinkFreud> Spitzer has nothing on that guy - he was caught in bed with 6 hookers at once.
<PinkFreud> Amato: lol
<Amato> that is the kind of fiscal responsibility we desperately need here in the 'States

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 Post subject: Re: From the desk of Me
PostPosted: Fri May 16, 2008 9:20 pm 
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<Roscoe> FEAR NO MORE, MEN.
<Roscoe> LAMENT NO MORE, WOMEN.
<Roscoe> YOUR ROSCOE HAS RETURNED UNTO YOU.
<TheDagda> Who are you again?


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 Post subject: Re: From the desk of Me
PostPosted: Fri Jun 19, 2009 9:06 am 
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<EvilDarkLord> Has Arz yet required that people take something from BoEF?
<ErikMesoy> Hahahahaha
<Alien> ...
<AbuDhabi> EvilDarkLord: Not yet, but I expect we'll get some loot from there.
<Reiver> BOEF?
<ilf_miffed> Huh.
<ilf_miffed> Book of Erotic Fantasy
<Reiver> omg
<Reiver> Power Word: Orgasm
<ilf_miffed> ORGASMIC TOUCH
<Reiver> The reason weedy little 8 str, 8 cha wizards get all the girls.
<AbuDhabi> Reiver: Only the low level girls, though, or the ones that have taken sufficient damage to be affected by this Word spell. :P
<Reiver>
<Reiver> God damnit, Anno
<AbuDhabi> Quickened Disintegrate! And only THEN Power Word: Orgasm!
<Reiver> I did not need the mental image of a girl who needed to take 'sufficient damage in order for the orgasm to work'

Edited for brevity.

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 Post subject: Re: From the desk of Me
PostPosted: Wed Jun 24, 2009 7:12 pm 
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<Derakon> This happens when you crawl under that floating platform and then try to stand.
<Derakon> The platform ejects you upwards.

[...]

<Derakon> Anyway, fixed, by saying "Look, an upwards ejection vector when the bottom of my sprite is below the block in question is just silly."
<Derakon> (especially when I was just crawling a moment ago)
* Consul writes down "upwards ejection vector" for later use.
<McMartin> Unsanitary
* Derakon facepalms.

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