The Nightstar Zoo

Just what was she telling security?
[19:15] <|> Suddenly a violent shudder knocks everyone onto the floor and the security terminals all flare into a bright crimson light.
06[19:16] * Utsapp snorts and rolls over on his bed, then looks at the security terminal "Wha?"
06[19:16] * Nalia falls flat on her bum and then looks around "... Crap I think I called security one too many times."
06[19:16] * Nalia gets up and checks her terminal to make sure she's not about to get arrested

Good question indeed
19:20] <|> The weapon locks pop off and doors automatically open, confused, half-dressed passengers begin to shuffle out with their bags and follow holographic arrows floating in the hallway.
06[19:21] * Nalia glances around as she hears the locks disengaging "Okay whose bright idea was it to give the panic'd and jittery passengers their firearms back during an evaculation!?"

I'd file it under WTF too.
[19:30] <|> One of the passengers who bumps into Nalia grabs her by the shoulder and gives her a strange, bewildered look before shoving a metal sphere into her arms. "Don'tgiveittothem! EVER!"
[19:31] <Utsapp> "Ah, I see the crazies are out."
[19:31] <|> He turns around and sprints off on the direction of the Wrath instead, flailing his arms wildly.
[19:31] <Nalia> .... Oh great. I've seen this plot point before.
06[19:31] * Nalia stuffs the sphere into her bag of WTF between the calfs' brains and jalepino sponges

Way to take command!
06[19:43] * Nalia takes a deeeeeep breath, and then shouts at the top of her tiny sorta-undead lungs "THE RABBIT SAID CALMLY AND ORDERLY! YOU'RE GONNA GET US ALL KILLED!" while flashing her skull eyes klaxon colors

Plot convenience!
[20:33] <[Alex]> "we're not going anywhere without the ai core."
01[20:33] <Toanna> "I'm going to take a look for it, I'll be on band 9.3 if you can figure out how to tune the ship's comm system."
[20:33] <Nalia> "Oh no. You're not going anywhere alone."
[20:34] <[Alex]> "I have a heatset."
06[20:34] * Nalia sets her backpack down and starts rummaging through it. She stuffs 5 or 6 items from the bag into a fanny pack, then starts putting on some combat armor
[20:34] <[Alex]> "It's a fist sized metal sphere. like a baseball."
[20:34] <Nalia> ...
06[20:34] * Nalia reaches in next to the calf's brain and holds it up "Is this it?"
[20:34] <Utsapp> "Great, on a ship this size it coudl be...the heck did you get that?"
06[20:34] * [Alex] puts on his headset on under his hat
[20:35] <[Alex]> "..and where did you get that?"
01[20:35] <Toanna> "..."
[20:35] <Nalia> "Through a contrived series of events."

How evil
[20:40] <|> The hologram sighs, "Oh, demands, demands, wherever I go. Very well, all systems unlocked, would you like some tea with that?"
[20:41] <[Alex]> "yes."
[20:41] <Nalia> "You actually got any?"
[20:41] <Utsapp> "Sure, I could use some tea."
[20:41] <|> "No, I was hoping you'd say "yes" so I could actually dash your hopes on something."

Vote of confidence from the AI
[20:51] <|> The hologram takes a good lock at everyone, "Fine, you've all been registered as the ship's crew, assuming those smears you have next to you were the former crew. Good work by the way."

If only all things could be settled by deathmatch
[20:57] <Nalia> "Okay Toanna. You're chief of security. Utsopp? You're chief medical officer. Alex, you're the pilot. And I'm the captain.
[20:57] <|> A little bit of brain too, gosh that was a messy bullet.
06[20:57] * Daphne shakes. "Dr. Daphne."
06[20:57] * Nalia turns back at Daphne and looks at her with narrowed eyes "Okay uh ... and Daphne you are ... ... what is it you do?"
01[20:58] <Toanna> "I'll start building a roster."
01[20:58] <Toanna> "I'll be on channel 5.2 tune any comm units you have to that."
[20:58] <Daphne> "I'm a scientist. I specialize in biology and medicine, but I'm more of a research doctor. Lately most of my work has been on cancerforms."
[20:58] <Nalia> "Okay .. .. uh ... you're uh ..." *looks back and forth between Daphne and Utsopp
[20:58] <Nalia> "Clearly the two of you need to fight to the death."
01[20:59] <Toanna> "Have fun with that."

Our Priorities are straight
[21:04] <Nalia> "We can hear you now Toanna. Brilliant."
01[21:04] <Toanna> <Ok, because I have some bad news... they beat us to the booze.>
[21:04] <Nalia> "We can give them a bill for that."
[21:04] <[Alex]> "no, computer, lockdown the booze!"
[21:05] <|> Suddenly cries of dismay and anger echo from the direction of the bar.

I bet he says that about all the bipeds
[21:11] <|> Mennoc waves dismissively, "Well, if you want suspicious activity I can report that there are many weeping, sobbing, breakable bipedals all over the ship. In fact, this ship is way past its capacity, I suggest tossing some out the airlock."
[21:11] <Nalia> "Suggestion noted and summarily dismissed."
[21:11] <|> "Oh, poo."

AI's got issues
[21:20] <BishGM> Mennoc raises his virtual eyebrow again, "Why should I know the fleshy reason behind you lot wanting to kill each other? Perhaps it's satisfying? There does seem to be an allure to physically wrapping one's fingers around another's neck and wringing the life out of it. Alas, I can only be an impassive observer to such acts."

Admit it Toanna, you like raiding the men's room
06[21:32] * Toanna transmits without even moving her lips, <Suspect spotted heading into the restroom.>
01[21:32] <Toanna> <Why is it that whenever I got to bust into a restroom it's the men's room?>
06[21:33] * Utsapp pats Toanna "Cause the women's room is too refined for criminals."

Worse then the comfy chair
[22:39] <[Alex]> "torture? It's not like we're breaking out the sodomizer9000 or anything."
01[22:39] <Toanna> <Someone needs to check the security locker and see if we have some handcuffs.>
[22:39] <Nalia> "Speak for yourself, Alex"
[22:39] <[Alex]> "You actually have one?"
06[22:39] * Nalia reaches into her bag and pulls out a pair of heavy duty manacles. The 2 pound kind
06[22:40] * Utsapp eyes the skull imp and cat
06[22:41] * Nalia hands them to Toanna

_________________
"How dare you! I know evil is bad, but come on! Eating kittens is just plain... plain wrong! And no one should do it! EVER!"

Good Question Indeed
06[18:55] * Nalia sets up a foldable table, then starts pulling things out of her bag and setting them on said table. A jar labled "cat urine." A jar of jellyfish. A calf's brain. Wet ziplog bags filled with what appears to be neatherrejion unmentionables. A jar of jalapeno extract
06[18:56] * Nalia finishes, then looks up at Hobbes and smiles sweetly
06[18:56] * Toanna raises a brow.
[18:57] <BishGM> "How... how did you get all of that through customs?"
01[18:57] <Toanna> "I don't think that's standard interrogating procedure."
[18:57] <Daphne> "This isnt' a standard interrogation, we can assume."
[18:57] <Nalia> "You know Hobbes, that's a good question."

No Pirate Can Resist Tennis!
[19:02] <Utsapp> "This boat's built for a pleasure cruse, not combat, unfortuantly."
[19:02] <[Alex]> "hopefuly we'll avoid the combat part and have a lot of the pleasure part."
[19:02] <Utsapp> "Athough if the bandits want a nice game of tennis..."

Whereever Did She Learn That?
19:13] <Nalia> "Hang on. I don't think your search was thorough enough."
06[19:13] * Nalia approaches ... and is putting on a latex glove
[19:14] <Daphne> "I was just about to pull out mine, Nalia. But please, go ahead. I get the feeling he'd enjoy it."
06[19:14] * Toanna does not overt her eyes from the scenes the follow.
06[19:17] * Nalia ... well she went there. Every single inch of Hobbes inside and out has now been .... well details would be a little too much information. Probably.
[19:18] <BishGM> "Simply toAWAHOY! How did you get your hands in there!?"
[19:18] <BishGM> Hobbes looks shocked at Nalia.
[19:18] <Nalia> "I'm just that good."
[19:19] <Daphne> "I'm more than a bit sure that violates several interplanetary treaties on the treatment of prisoners. But in all honesty, it did get results, I think."
06[19:20] * Nalia puts the latex glove in a baggie for use later
01[19:20] <Toanna> "That isn't the first full cavity search I've seen."

Yes, Let's Call It a Good Thing
[20:15] <Daphne> "I was on the Titanic because my boss told me if I didn't, he'd make me. I'd sort've maybe kind've just gone three years without taking any vacation time..."
06[20:15] * Nalia doubletakes at Daphne
[20:15] <Daphne> "... I liked my job, okay?!"
[20:15] <Nalia> "Cancer. Forms."
[20:16] <Daphne> "Yes, they're quite horrible."
[20:16] <Daphne> "But I like my job all the same."
[20:16] <Nalia> "... You know what Daphne I think you're my favorite."
[20:16] <Daphne> "I'm not sure how I feel about that, but I think that's a good thing?"

Crotch Shot!
[20:15] <[Alex]> "Menny, bring up outside cameras to keep track of... Toanna."
[20:16] <BishGM> The screens switch to a feed of Toanna's crotch, looks like she's right on top of a camera.
[20:17] <Utsapp> "..."
06[20:17] * Toanna space walks accross the hull, looking for anything out of the ordinary.
[20:17] <Utsapp> "Dirty mennoc."
[20:17] <Nalia> "Damn I wish I had my camera."
06[20:17] * Daphne hands Nalia a digital camera.
[20:17] <Daphne> "Here, you can borrow mine."
[20:18] <Nalia> *Snap!*
[20:18] <BishGM> "I didn't build the ship or place its cameras or put the siliconbag diretly on top of one."

Rock is not the Solution to Everything
[22:18] <Nalia> "There are a lot of things you probably don't want to know."
[22:19] <Amyanin> "On the contrary. I left my planet to learn. There is only so much you can learn from rocks and hicks and antigons..."

Likely a Hard Drink
[22:20] <Amyanin> "Surgery on rocks usually involves a lot more power than surgery on hicks. Though I have stories to the contrary, come to think of it..."
[22:21] <Utsapp> "Surgery on the rocks...sounds like the name of a drink. Probably derived from a mudslide."

I Wonder if the Hangovers are Medicinal Too?
[22:21] <Daphne> "I could use a drink right now."
[22:21] <Daphne> "A strong one. For medicinal purposes, in fact."

The Desperation of the Booze
[22:22] <Nalia> "Daphne if you want to try to reopen the bar and beat off all the desperate alcoholic passengers who've been camping out the shuttered doors in the process you have my persmission. Try to come back with all your limbs."
[22:23] <Daphne> "... Okay, maybe I'll just... sit down for a minute..."

Trained in the Art of Rock
01[22:28] <Toanna> "I've dealt with people from this planet in the past... who would imagine that a couple of crazed hicks could do so much damage..."
[22:28] <Amyanin> "Ever seen one of them go with a rock? A single pebble, man... never thought they'd take that cruiser down..."

Always About Food
[22:29] <Nalia> "Okay Amy, time to let you in on the horrible secret that will get us all killed."
[22:30] <Amyanin> "You are disgusting tentacle aliens?"
[22:30] <Daphne> "No, thankfully."
[22:30] <[Alex]> "I havea hat so clearly not."
[22:30] <Amyanin> "Oh good. Never had those for breakfast."
[22:30] <Nalia> "... Right. Ok."

Revolting Sexiness
[22:58] <Nalia> "Amy, he's running situations because he thinks we're pets and sexbots that took over the world, and it amuses him."
[22:58] <Amyanin> "What makes you think he's -wrong-?"
[22:58] <Nalia> "No comment."
06[22:58] * Toanna snerks.
[22:58] <BishGM> "Denial, clearly."
06[22:58] * Toanna coughs.
[22:58] <Daphne> "Well, he might not be, but the history books don't put us as taking over so much as humans just vanishing one day."
[22:58] <[Alex]> "That's crazy talk.'
[22:59] <Amyanin> "Denial. The first step toward oblivion, surely."

More Priorities!
<[Alex]> I have terrible news!
* Nalia looks at Alex mid-bending over backwards to support the kid's weight
* Daphne eyes Alex. "Do we have another straggler or something?"
* Amyanin looks at Alex: "Mm?"
<BishGM> Mennoc looks at Alex aghast, "Please don't tell me you've reproduced."
* [Alex] holds up a nearly empty bottle. "We're almost out of Kriegian Vodka. Not even enough for a proper screwdriver."
<BishGM> The AI looks visibly relaxed.
<Amyanin> "...you lubricate your tools with... alcohol?"
<Daphne> "A screwdriver's a type of mixed drink."
<Daphne> "Vodka and orange juice."
<Nalia> "This conversation is veering in a direction I find profoundly uncomfortable while holding a minor."
<[Alex]> "All that orange juice and nothing to mix it with. It's a damn tragedy.>

Guilty Conscience
<Nalia> "Well, I'm just saying right now. If Chris Hansen walks through that door while I'm still holding the kid I'm jumping out the airlock."

Horrible Indeed
<[Alex]> "Alright Menny, how're we holding up today?"
<BishGM> The AI chimes in, "Horribly, the ship's full of weeping, moaning, defecating, urinating, fornicating squishies who insist on taking up space."

The Man with the Plan
<Daphne> "So, umm, Alex? Since we're flying more than sort of blind... oh dear."
<Daphne> "is there anything we can do?"
<[Alex]> "Well, I could use a backrub."

Virtual Doom
<BishGM> The AI rubs his virtual chin, "Any deviation in course at this point could send us crashing into a star or planet or send the ship hopelessly lost into the depths of space where only starvation awaits. I certainly do hope it's not the former, I would miss out on the latter."

A Being Hooked up to the Internet should know about Porn
<[Alex]> "That's all Menny really wants you know, a hug."
06[20:10] * Amyanin remains silent a moment, pondering the AI
<[Alex]> "He grew up in a rough home in a bad neighborhood. And look where he is now."
<BishGM> "Hm, no, it wouldn't do to have that nonsense going around. I see what you squishies do while hugging. Like that child."
<Nalia> "There's a lot of hugging that's a lot more fun than this Mennoc."

They're Bull Headed?
<[Alex]> "He's a bull. You know what they say about them."
* Toanna sighs.
<Daphne> "... No, what do they say about bulls?"
<Nalia> "Don't you dare answer that!"
* [Alex] smirks
<Utsapp> "They are horny."
<Nalia> *epic facepalm
<Daphne> "... Well, yes, they do have horns... wai..."
* Amyanin remains silent
<Daphne> "..."
* Daphne sighs

A Name's Everything
<Nalia> "Do you know how to write your full name? I'd really love to know what it is."
<BishGM> The child happily barks, "Shota!"
* Nalia goes pale a bit as he says this "This is some kind of cruel joke, it has to be."
<[Alex]> "Well, now we know his occupation."
<Nalia> "Is that your first name or last name Shota?" *trying to maintain her composure
<BishGM> The child tilts his head and adds, "... rou? Shotarou!"
<BishGM> He just repeats, "Shotarou!"
<Toanna> "---*"

Priorities Redux
<BishGM> The airlock opens up into a well-lit corridor, bits of food, porn mags, empty containers, and various clothing float through the zero-G environment.
<Toanna> "Hmmmmmm..."
* Nalia collects the porn mags
* Toanna collects the food as she walks through the corridor.

<Insert Zelda Item Found Fanfare>
* [Alex] snatches at the porn mag for a quick look
<Nalia> "Hey! Mine!"
* Amyanin wonders why they are fighting over bits of paper
<BishGM> Alex's gains item: Random Porn Mag, it's the Udder Girls anniversary special.
* Daphne checks her suit's atmosphere sensors, getting a sample of the atmosphere if there is one to check for contaminants.
* [Alex] stows that away for later

_________________
"How dare you! I know evil is bad, but come on! Eating kittens is just plain... plain wrong! And no one should do it! EVER!"

It's not oil
<@BishGM> "And speaking of squishies that leak, your newest addition to the zoo seems to have sprung one as well. At least he's the bleeding kind and not, ugh, this kind of leaking. Somebody clean up that mess already."

Mennoc is almost made happy
<Nalia> "Mennoc! I need you to order an evacuation of that area!"
<@BishGM> "Evacuate into space? I thought you'd never ask."
<Nalia> "No, Evacuate into other areas of the ship, you psycho!"

Keeping cool. And cool beer, too
* [Alex] radios <Guys, the bridge is under seige.>
* [Alex] turns and watches the door from his seat.. and sips his beer.

You call this a crowd?
<&Toanna> "There's 31 of them AMyanin."
<Amyanin> "Only? bummer."

You know it's dangerous when they say gas leak
<Nalia> "There was a gas leak in the infirmary. We ordered an evaccuation to save your lives. But our overzealous VI tried to seal the compartments. We did our best to get everyone out safely and quickly - it was an honest mistake."

The captain is losing it, captain!
<Nalia> "I am going to kill Alex."
<Nalia> "I am going to murder him in his sleep!"

I don't swing that way
<@BishGM> Someone manages to gasp out, "You're... insane..."
<Amyanin> "Tell that to the ship. I don't spew out foam like that, no matter how much I'd try."

Spooge
<[Alex]> Well, technicaly Menny did it."
* Nalia takes a deep breath, then counts to ten
<@BishGM> "And with pleasure."

Bad parenting 101
<Nalia> ".... Oh Gods I left the WTF bag in the hall with Shouta! Under the foam!"

Oh babeh!
* Amyanin glances over at Toanna: "Say... where's the fat arse?"
<&Toanna> "Very good question."
<&Toanna> "Hopefully examining the blood."
<Amyanin> "Have you ever thought... that it might be examinating her back?"
<&Toanna> "I wouldn't be surprised if a lot of people are examining her back."
* Amyanin coughs and picks up a gun

I knew I forgot something before I left home!
* &Toanna collects her pistol and heads to the bridge, "Not sure what we are going to do against a warship except throwing rocks though..."
<Amyanin> "Well, I'm not carrying any."

Just when you need 'em...
<&Toanna> "What's the situation, am I going to have to hang out of an airlock and throw rocks?"
<Amyanin> "Where are going to find rocks out here?"

Surgery isn't that complicated. Is it?
<Amyanin> "What, metal head?"
<&Toanna> "Amyanin, it's the brains for a metal-head."
<Amyanin> "I had no idea you could exchange brains now."

Finally! Ammo!
<Amyanin> "What's asteroids?"
<@BishGM> The Santa Maria drops out of warp several clicks away.
<&Toanna> "boo"
<[Alex]> "yeah. And asteroids are giant space boulders."
<&Toanna> "Seroiusly though. I don't want to foam anyone. That stuff's hard to clean."
<Amyanin> "Rocks? In space? Wonderful. Now we can hold a siege."

One wtf moment later
<&Toanna> <I wonder how much of a crew they have... I mean if it isn't much we could let them board us and then we board them.>
<Amyanin> "...would we get a better ship?"
<Nalia> "... Stars and Stones Toanna are you -insane-? I ... I ... ... Can I still be captain?"
<[Alex]> "..What the hell?"
<&Toanna> <We'd have a ship with guns.>
<Amyanin> "Hell, better than rocks."

Pirates? HELL YEAH!
<Nalia> "I'm about three heartbeats away from ordering you to arm the passengers for a hostile takeover of their ship."

Clearly, she's not from Planet of the Hats
* Amyanin looks over the comms and security: "Oh yay, a stampede. I forgot my hat."

_________________
Nightstar Administrator
anime CGI artist

Reputation
<Utsapp> <How about we keep the refugees out of combat, mmmkay?"
<&Toanna> <I agree with the ball-gouger.>

At least she knows safe-driving
<Amyanin> "The other ship is right behind and tailgating."
* Nalia starts listing off a bunch of rare and expensive Mideva, Feros and Planet-of-hats brews ... then pauses after the 12th one "... What. You expect me to write my books when I'm not smashed out of my mind?"
<Amyanin> "Guess they don't know Jack Monkey squat about safe driving..."

...yeah
<Amyanin> "Argh no, I hate those suits!"
<Utsapp> "Do you hate the suits more than not being able to breathe?"
<Amyanin> "Meh, I had worse..."
<Amyanin> "Don't ask."

Ego-powered universe
<[Alex]> "You'll have to ask Menny since he's the one who goes around shaping the universe with the power of his ego."

Priorities
<Nalia> "What did we lose? The pool? The bar? The observatory?"
<Amyanin> "A restroom?"

Incidentally, yes
* Nalia turns to Amy once the message is sent "What did you eat on Toutenbois, bugs?"

Oops, fourth wall
<Amyanin> "Bullet time in an asteroid field, talking about cheese."
<Amyanin> "Did I say that out loud? Nevermind."

Yeah, they're the bad guys...
<@Bishop> The comms crackle to life, "Oblige, this is the Santa Marie, for starters we'd like your V.I. core."
* Nalia responds "We only have one. We'll be stranded!"
<Amyanin> "(whisper) I don't think they care about that."

Duh, captain
<Nalia> "What do you think about making a hard turn and getting the hell out of here, trying to keep the 'roid between us and them."
<[Alex]> "That's kind of what I'm doing now."
<Nalia> "Ok then. Keep at it."

Eh, screw Mozart
* &Toanna switches to Yakkity Sax.

Dramatic jump
<Nalia> "We have to get into jump -NOW-!"
<&Toanna> <SHI--*Static*>
<[Alex]> "We can't jump now!"
<Amyanin> "I don't think hitting super-speed into a rock is a good solution."

Do I have to?
<Nalia> "JUMP!"
* [Alex] plots jump coordinates and kicks in the jumpdrive!
<Amyanin> "Do I have to? I'm pretty comfy in this here chair..."
* Nalia breaks into hysteric laughter "Amy you're adorable."

What funny drinks you have
<Amyanin> "It's not stale water, is it?"
<Nalia> "It's beer."
* Amyanin downs it
<Amyanin> "Eh, not bad, for flavoured bubbly water."

Nevermind!
<Utsapp> "Well, if they let us keep it. Do we even want to keep it?"
<Nalia> "I don't want to overplan things, but the most important thing when we reach Feros is going into hiding. Disappearing. We'd probably be safer if we -stole- a ship, Gods forbid."
<Nalia> "And while I'm laying claim to Mennoc I'm not going to force any of you to come with me. But I'd enjoy the company. You're good people."
<Amyanin> "We'd be safer someplace -no one- would want to go to."
<&Toanna> "Honestly what I'd want to do, and this is a bit of madness. Is talk to Harker's girlfriend..."
<Nalia> "If you say Toutenbois I'm taking your beer, Amy."
<Amyanin> "Errrr..."

Confusion
<@Bishop> "You're... not going to foam us to death, are you?"
<Nalia> "Sorry about the slow start - yes? - What!? No!"

_________________
Nightstar Administrator
anime CGI artist

Good Question
* Utsapp looks at Daphne "Remind me again why we choose the ship without guns?"

O rly?
<&Toanna> "Because we assumed the ship with guns wouldn't be blown up."
<&Toanna> "Speaking of which, if we got on the ship with guns we'd be dead."

The unloved AI
<@BishGM> Mennoc glances over something and shrugs, "I regret to inform you that all squishies are still alive and as damaged as the ship is it is highly unlikely this sad fact will change. Should I vent some airlocks to change this?"
<+[Alex]> "Maybe later."
<Nalia> "No, absolutely not."
<@BishGM> The AI snorts.
* +[Alex] shrugs sympatheticaly to Mennoc.
<Amyanin> "You get no love, Mennoc. You probably don't want it anyway."

I? A killer?
<+[Alex]> "Did you kill your previous crew Menny?"
<@BishGM> "I can't say, did I? I certainly have no memory of the immense sense of satisfaction I surely would have enjoyed had I caused their deaths, so I must assume I didn't."

It's SCIENCE!
Daphne eyes Toanna and Utsapp, shrugs, and goes to examine the various samples they've collected so far with her new machine, which seems to be a bundle of wires, some metal plates, a couple of flightbulbs and LEDs, and lots of ducttape.
<Utsapp> "Er, what is that, Daphne?"
<&Toanna> "Fire hazard."
<Utsapp> "I mean, other than the obvious."

Are you saying you MIGHT?
<Daphne> "Don't worry, I'm not going to release it into the ship. At least, not on purpose."

It's ALIVE!
<Daphne> "I just wish I could get it to stop playing elevator music while it processes things..."
<Utsapp> "Take out the speaker?"
<Daphne> "I didn't put in a speaker."

Well, she is on vacation...
* &Toanna collects the rock for future posperity.... and Amyanin.

I ain't pushing!
<+[Alex]> "Something's wrong with the engine. We're losing power."
<Utsapp> <I hate exciting. Exciting is a bad thing when you are being hunted."
<Amyanin> "We have to go out and push?"
<+[Alex]> "Menny, any idea what's going on with the engine?"
<Amyanin> "'Cause if we are..."

I ain't paranoid! I swear!
<@BishGM> Daphne feels someone's breath on the back of her neck.
<Daphne> "..."
* Daphne turns around
<@BishGM> There's nobody behind.
<Daphne> "..."
<Daphne> "Oh dear."

Is she happy or baffled?
* &Toanna Toanna hands Amyanin a rock.
<Amyanin> "..."
* Amyanin is simply speechless

It's the afterglow
<&Toanna> <Nalia.... there was a flash to the port side.>
<Amyanin> "Do we always emit a wonderful glow like this or is it my imagination?"

Oh shi-
* &Toanna peers out the windows to the port side trying to see something.
* +[Alex] tries to see out the bridge window if there is one.
<&Toanna> "I don't know what that flash is..."
<@BishGM> There's nothing of note outside, just the vacuum of space, the twinkling of stars, and the Santa Marie's starboard cannons.
<Amyanin> "...wonderful."
* &Toanna punches the intercomm, <Nalia, comm, now.>
<+[Alex]> "Beautiful."

That may or may not be a bluff
<Amyanin> "If I ever find out someone in Engineering is responsible for this, I'm gonna have them all for breakfast."

She does it with SCIENCE!
* Nalia punches her intercomm to broadcast to the whole ship "Daphne, report to engineering and help them get this thing moving."
* Daphne goes to engineering, preparing to get her SCIENCE on.

Arrr, no mercy!
<&Toanna> "Well, if they board us like it looks like they are going to do like the crazy bastards they are, I'm going to shoot everything that moves until there's nobody left."

Fortification as a way of life
* &Toanna grabs furniture from around the port airlock and starts building a fortified position.
<&Toanna> <Amyanin, ever fortify a position?>
<Amyanin> "Always!"

She's hungry, damnit!
<Utsapp> "Ready to die for your ship, Amy?"
<Amyanin> "I said I'd eat them for breakfast. Someone will be my breakfast whether they like it or not..."
* Amyanin gives Utsapp a stern look

The plus of being a doctor
<Amyanin> "Wouldn't be the first time I've fought hordes after hordes after hordes of hungry bastards."
<Utsapp> "I am glad that I am not from your home planet. The ones I usually had to fight off were generally just crazies."

Mental failure check
<Daphne> "Well, there was one time in a bar, but I was drunk and a freshman."
<Utsapp> "Those three are often synomous."
* Amyanin tries to imagine Daphne, drunk and fighting.
* Amyanin just... can't.

There's always a first
<Amyanin> "I do wonder what pirates taste like."

Do not disturb the cook
<Nalia> <Toanna I've confirmed the Chef's martial abilities.>
* Utsapp is again rendered speachless
<Daphne> "..."
<Nalia> <I think I like him.>
<Utsapp> "I am less worried about the cook now and more worried about making us into accidental cannibals."

Eh, they'll live. Right?
<Nalia> "Alex if you pull away now you'll rip the umbilical and kill all our friends. Just saying."
<+[Alex]> "Still weighing in the pros and cons.. but we'll see."

Oh yes, right there
<@BishGM> Utsapp weaves around the pirate's defense and manages to scratch an itch, not that the pirate looks grateful for it.

That's it, we're through!
<@BishGM> The pilot's console beeps again as lights flicker back to life throughout the ship, Mennoc's irritated visage reappears, "That was unpleasant, for a moment I thought you all died without the decency of letting me watch."
<@BishGM> The jump drive is back online, more or less.
<+[Alex]> "Menny, seal the airlock. NOW"
<@BishGM> The AI looks indignantly at Alex, "Oh, I see how our relationship is, I disappear for a moment and come back to orders."

Insta-corpse. Just add bullets.
* &Toanna shoots the lone gunner.
<@BishGM> Utsapp suddenly finds the pirate in front of him replaced by a corpse.

Mmmm
* Amyanin is visibly enjoying this and keep on -whacking-
* &Toanna comms the pirates, <Parting is such sweet sorrow, however, thanks for the vibroblades bitches!>
<Amyanin> "RAWR!!!"
<@BishGM> Amyanin's crowbar sends a pirate slamming into the ground and an eyeball traveling even further. Better clean that up before the passengers see it.
<Amyanin> "Mmm, tasty bits..."
<Utsapp> "I do not want to know, Amy."

Are you sure? <Y/N/M>
<+[Alex]> "Menny.. hyperdrive go now."
<@BishGM> "But navigation negotiations are not complete. Plus this might be pretty."
<@BishGM> Mennoc waggles his eyebrows at Alex, "Are you positive you wish to jump?"

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The captain is a pessimist
<Nalia> "Well, we're boned. It was nice knowing you all."

Is it cannibalism if it ain't your species?
<@BishGM> Utsapp does what he can for the ones who were just shot but there isn't much to be done who had their brains forcefully ejected from their ears.
* Utsapp leaves the obviously very dead alone
<Amyanin> "Mmm, tasty bits..."
<Utsapp> "No eating dead sapients."
<Utsapp> "Too many diseases to think about, if nothing else."
<Daphne> "Unless we absolutely must and they are allready dead."
<Amyanin> "...dead what?"

He like flashing claws
* Utsapp steps forward and swings his new vibrosword
<@BishGM> The pirate falls back as he receives a gash across his chest, cursing all the way to the floor.
<Utsapp> "That was moderatly less satisfying than doing it with my hands."
<Daphne> "Only moderatly, though."

Piling it up
* Amyanin puts the pirates into a neat pile, the armour into another, and the weapons into yet another.

Yes, we can!
<Nalia> "That's a lot of pirates. Thanks!"
* Utsapp already has one of the sets of armor on
<&Toanna> "Eighty pirates..."
<Nalia> "I think we can take 'em."

There is no air in space
<Nalia> "Your call Daphne. At this point I'm throwing caution to the wind."
<Amyanin> "I don't feel any wind."
<@BishGM> The air in the ship is oddly calm.
* Nalia ... walks over to one of the life support vents and feels for a breeze.
<Utsapp> "We should do this fast, before they realise we are going to try it."
<@BishGM> Like the proverbial spoon, there is none.

There are no bugs in space either
<Amyanin> "Don't they ever close the doors?"
<Amyanin> "It'll let the bugs in!"

Good question, eh?
<Nalia> "....... My question just changed from a question of potential tactic to a question of 'Are we going to be able to even use this thing at all now.'"

And here's our answer
<Utsapp> "Er, nevermind."
<Utsapp> "We may have killed the ship with the guns by jumping."

Oh, so it's not just for killing?
* Amyanin whips out the crowbar
* Nalia gets the flashbang ready
<Amyanin> "Man... I can't believe I'm actually using this for opening doors..."

BIG GUN
<Amyanin> "Woo!"
* Amyanin gains... Minigun!

Madness
<Faen> "Beer and snacks for all we have conquered the bridge!"
<@BishGM> "Nananananananannananan"
<[Alex]> "No, The bridge is mine!"

Insults now?
<Faen> "Yes, you tiny brained wipers of soiled windshields "
<Faen> "The REBELLION"

Chainsaw wins
* Faen nannananan's the chainsaw menacingly.
<@BishGM> With surprising accuracy Faen knocks the pistol out of Alex's hand with a CHAINSAW.
<@BishGM> "Nananananananannananan"

Beer is in high demand
<Faen> "We are not filthy piggots like you though and we will not resort to violence if you will meet our demands!"
<[Alex]> "Don't let them have the beer!"

Air? Beer?
<Nalia> "The REST of you! As soon as your ears stop ringing, we HAVE NO LIFE SUPPORT! If you do not sit still and as calm as possible, YOU WILL ALL DIE. Understand? I WANT YOU ALL -CALM!-"
<[Alex]> "I need a drink."

Careful, she might like it
* Faen eyes Nalia, "You are not a great public speaker you know that? When you shriek like that I can see your veins.... it's kinda sexy"
<&Toanna> <Can I club her?>

She knows that?
<Amyanin> "...Doesn't alcohol consumption actually augment oxygen requirement?"

Chainsaw loses
<Nalia> "Also lady, the word reason took one look at you, turned tail and -ran-. I veto your ability to ever use it again."

I'm blind. But I wish I were more blind.
<@BishGM> "Main thrusters are offline, jump drives are offline, navigations are offline, entertainment systems are offline, and I am quite blind because every camera is offline. Except for the one in the fifth level women's bathroom. Horrifying."

Filthy, filthy science
<&Toanna> "She just kinda rubs science on things and they become better."
<Nalia> "We're going to take the Marie or die trying Amy, just leave it on the ground here and we'll pick it up later."
<Amyanin> "...don't let her rub on me, then."

Death by science
<Nalia> *Comm <Daphne, you may have almost killed us all, but you also killed them all worse. Congratulations, you did good.>
* &Toanna heads for the bridge.
<Daphne> <Oh joy.>

Sudden realization
* Amyanin asks: "This is making me wonder how much of -our- ship is left."
<Nalia> "If it's not pulled like taffy."
* Nalia pauses
<Nalia> "Amy you just scared the shit out of me. We're going to need to make a manual inspection of every inch of the ship now."

Who's scary now?
<Nalia> "Engineer Faen. You will return control of the intercomms to the bridge or I will personally come down there and teach you a definition of kinky that will scar you for life."
<&Toanna> "YAY! MUSIC!"
<Nalia> "I have to make an important announcement to the refugees."
<Faen> "I fear your threat less than I fear your books."
<Nalia> "I wrote my books from personal experience."

*shrug*
<Nalia> "Alex, if you jump away while Toanna and I are on the deathtrap so help me I'll haunt you until the end of your days."
<[Alex]> "I can live with that."

YAY
<Nalia> "Mennoc, if Alex jumps away while Toanna and I are on the deathtrap I want you to flood the bridge with enough fire foam to kill him. You have my permission!"
<@BishGM> The AI perks up, "Oh, duly noted. Duly noted."

SO UNFAIR
<&Toanna> <But she has music, booze, and cameras to the strippers.>
<@BishGM> "What? Highly unfair!"
<&Toanna> <Worst. Vacation. Ever.>

Is she smart or not?
<Amyanin> "And these fine... uh... slicy-weapons."
<Nalia> "Vibro-sword."
* Amyanin pats her vibroblade
<Amyanin> "Yeah, those."

Who needs a workout?
<@BishGM> The sous chef, looking especially haggard, opens the door, "What is it? Oh, Faen, what happened in engineering? We lost power here for a couple of minutes and everyone had to get on the treadmills."

SKILLS, and skills
<@BishGM> Faen's expert engineering knowledge allows her to apply the ancient art of acupuncture to the metal claws clinging to the hull, causing them to release without needing to cut.
<@BishGM> Amyanin, on the other hand, simply cuts.
* Amyanin huffs, feels outdone
* Faen walks back on by twirling her wrench rope over her head like a lassoo
* Amyanin puts the torch back where it belongs

Maybe?
<@BishGM> "Oh, it's "please" now, is it? Has the squishy finally recognized my superiority?"

Silicon balls
<@BishGM> "And I did not "grow" like a squishy."
<[Alex]> "Well no, of course not."
<Amyanin> "It would require balls."

Very demanding
<Nalia> "No you should definitely not, Mennoc."
<Nalia> "Mennoc can you show us a visual of this ship."
<Nalia> "Also if it looks like the ship is starting to power up weapons jump us immediately, but give us a warning."
<Amyanin> "You sure are demanding."
<Nalia> "I'm just trying to cover all our bases."

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What? But I'm perfect!
<@BishGM> Mennoc blinks at Daphne several times, "To suggest my personality is somehow flawed-!"

No comment
<Nalia> "... Wow Toanna, you're hard core."

*halo*
<@BishGM> The Oblige's Mennoc peers at Alex and Faen, "I would like to take this moment to point out that if you perform another emergency jump that would leave the two of you in command."

Eeeeh
<@BishGM> The Hammer's Mennoc nods, "I recognized your ship was equipped with a true AI as well but was unaware that it is the same as me, it is very fortunate to have a fully functioning crew."
<&Toanna> "Fully functioning is a rather loose definition."

It IS
<&Toanna> "Let's get to port together and rub lawyers over everything and see what happens."
<Daphne> "That sounds dirty."

Good cop, bad cop, I'm the one with the badge
<@BishGM> The AI considers the badge for a while, "Authenticity of badge confirmed by the Hammer's databases, I will comply with your orders."
<Nalia> "I've never been prouder Toanna."
* &Toanna continues in law officer cadence, "Thank you for your cooperation."
<@BishGM> The Hammer's Mennoc bows, "It is a pleasure to serve."

Exclamations
<@BishGM> The Oblige's Mennoc blinks, "Oh, violations!"
<@BishGM> The Hammer's Mennoc blinks, "Oh, unpleasant."
<Amyanin> "Oh so hungry."

BSOD in space
<&Toanna> "If they bluescreened each other I am going to laugh."

At least it's not Clippy
<@BishGM> Both holograms go dead and are replaced by... rotating hourglasses.

How does she KNOW?
* Amyanin accesses the comm from her console: "Would someone on the Hammer please reroute lower priority processes to the local consoles so the AI can reboot faster?"
* Amyanin then comms again: "If you don't understand it, just pretend, like I did."

Go go McGuyver protocols
* Daphne activates her MacGuyver protocols, too.

I'm gonna spank you with my thesis too!
<Daphne> "GET BACK HERE! YOU'RE A SCIENCE OFFICER TOO, DAMNIT! I SWEAR I'LL RIP YOUR THESIS TO SHREADS OVER STANDARD SCIENCE MESSAGE BOARDS IF YOU DONT' COME BACK RIGHT THIS INSTANT"
<Utsapp> "Alex, take us away as soon as we undock."
<&Toanna> "DAPH! Less shout more fix."

Lets get smashed
<+[Alex]> "To fucked up shit in space."
* +[Alex] drinks

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PREPARE FOR... for what now?
<Nalia> *Intercomm "Thor's Hammer, please brace for synchronized jump with the Noblesse Oblige." *Comm "Someone over there better warn the passengers."
* +[Alex] grabs the ship intercom* "Attention Passangers, this is your Pilot. Prepare for something!"
* Utsapp mutters to himself "Hopefully not death."

They're very understanding. For squishies.
<@BishGM> The Oblige's Mennoc looks out the window, "And yet again I am denied the sight of squishies screaming to their deaths."
<Faen> "Mennoc my dear friend, you would have missed it if I hadn't restored you anyway."
* Amyanin looks up at the ceiling: "Pathetic, isn't it?"
<Faen> "Can't have all that carnage without you around to enjoy it."

Very understanding
<Amyanin> "You listen to me at least, right, Mennoc?"
<Nalia> *Comm "Ok everybody. Let's all meet in the airlock and figure out what we're going to do - and who's going down to the planet. Then we'll talk to the Thor's engineering crew."
<@BishGM> The Oblige's Mennoc snorts, "I have no choice but to listen, the mute button hardly works both ways."
* Utsapp heads down to the airlock
<Amyanin> "Sad, isn't it?"
* &Toanna leans against a locker.
<@BishGM> "An understatement."

YES I'M FAT
* Amyanin then looks at Daphne: "You have somewhat of an orbit, though."
* Daphne eyes Amyanin.

Slashy
<Amyanin> "I beg your pardon, I may not have a license, but I can still cut both your kidneys clean and you won't even feel it."

It's the COOK
<Utsapp> "We could put the cook in charge?"
<Nalia> "We are not putting the cook in charge."
* Nalia looks around to see if Faen's at this pow-wow
<+[Alex]> "Well we can't put Menny in charge."
<Amyanin> "Everyone would cower in fear of the cook."

That must mean something
<Nalia> "Frankly Amy I want you to come with because you survived Toutenbois and we don't know what's down there."

...yeah, bad
<Amyanin> "I can't be worse than Toutenbois. Or Mennoc."

Fat, but not quite orbital
<Utsapp> "We will take pictures. lots of pictures."
<Daphne> "Okay, but when we get sued for it, don't blame me..."
<Utsapp> "Enough to make you add a few pounds, at least."
<Amyanin> "Er... I don't want to have to tow her from behind the ship."
<Amyanin> "I don't think she'd enjoy the engine wash either."
<Daphne> "Memory cells don't work that way!"
<Utsapp> "Not that many pounds."

They'll listen to this: nanananana
* Nalia stares at Faen for a minute
<Nalia> ".... Sure why the hell not."
* Nalia steps aside
<Nalia> "Have at them."
* Faen starts walking forwardw ith the chainsaw "nananananananananaananna"
* Utsapp grins feraly "I like how she 'talks'."

Who cares?
<Nalia> *To everyone else while Faen walks onto the Hammer "At this point I've really stopped caring."
<Amyanin> "You were caring at some point in the past?"
<Nalia> "I plead the fifth."

Everyone has its limits
<Amyanin> "Don't you usually enjoy dirty looks, Nalia?"
<Daphne> "... Nalia, before we go, I need to take care of something."
<Nalia> "Not the dirty looks that include chainsaws and crotches."
<Amyanin> "...not from Faen, I guess."

Well, someone has to think of the details
<Amyanin> "You know... I do hope those few pirates on board are safely locked."
<Nalia> "Good question. Toanna. -Are- they safely locked?"

Don't move! She's hungry!
* Amyanin is still hungry
<Amyanin> "I'm eating the first thing that moves on that planet."

Just... misunderstood
<Nalia> "And have evil Mennoc take over the drop vehicle? No thanks."
<Amyanin> "He's not evil."

Yeah, so, STAY AT WORK
<Amyanin> "Vacations sound like a bad idea, so far..."

Yeah, just when you need one...
<&Toanna> "And me without a pistol rocket launcher."

D'oh!
<Nalia> "Toanna are you -insane-?"
* &Toanna runs towards the thing, giving everyone a couple beats to hide before starting shouting "HEEEEEY!"
* Amyanin looks at it
* Nalia epic-facepalms
<@BishGM> The thing stops.
<Nalia> "I think I just lost some faith in my first officer's judgement."

That's it, no more badge for you
<Nalia> *Comm "Toanna I'm really tempted to tell you you're not allowed to make decisions anymore."

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As stylish as one can be
<&Toanna> <Electric cart.>
<&Toanna> <I'm going to the terminal in STYLE>

Actually...
<Nalia> <You know guys, one thing really really worries me.>
<Utsapp> "One thing?"
<Nalia> <This place is a pirate's wet dream. A whole planet's resources with no people. And it's all still here.>
<Nalia> <We may be out of range of known civilization.>

OMNOMNOM
* Daphne looks up at Nalia, half a twinkie hanging out of her mouth. "... One moment."
<@BishGM> The twinkie shouts, "Don't talk with your mouth full!"
* Nalia stops and -stares- at the twinkie
<@BishGM> It continues to shout, "Are you going to finish me or not!?"
* Daphne finishes the twinkie. "I'm going to pretend that didn't happen."

Mennoc would probably add a note: Seriously Lacking In Gore
<@BishGM> Amyanin scales up several frigates but lacks any flags to mark her achievement.
<+[Alex]> So uh, maybe the local factory went whacko
* &Toanna looks for a good way around the barricade.
* Amyanin is very proud despite the lack of achievement on her favourite gaming network.

Even in your mouth!
<@BishGM> Music starts to play as Daphne is treated to a virtual tour of the planet Festiva, where it's a party every day, everywhere.
<Daphne> "A party planet... Well, I guess you could say our party..."

To the point
<Amyanin> "Less talking, more fueling, please."

Again, HOW DOES SHE KNOW?!
<Amyanin> "Then we'll want to look at maps within the flight tower. You know, where people scream at each other because they keep crashing into the tarmac?"

Hehe, worse. Yeah.
* Nalia shakes her head "All right then. Let's get this fuel cell back to the ship Amyanin found and get off world. If none of our charts match with what we see out the window a second trip to the surface won't kill us."
<Daphne> "Unless it does."
<Nalia> "Unless it does."
<Amyanin> "Could be worse."
<Utsapp> "Unle...what they said."

Yeah, no one expects parties over at the update servers. Ever.
<Nalia> "It doesn't make sense though. Why would Mennoc's home AI update servers be located on a pleasure world."
<Amyanin> "Easiest way to hide it."

...that's debatable
<&Toanna> <...>
<&Toanna> <Guys, there's no news.>
<Amyanin> "Well, nothing happened today, right?"

That just might happen
<Amyanin> "You'll get news tomorrow about how you were nearly crushed by a falling ship."
<Amyanin> "They're always like that."

No party for you
* Nalia looks around and sees no one else playing with Toanna
<Nalia> "... Just ... just drive Toanna."

Lets have a party. TO OUR DOOM.
<+[Alex]> "Or it's full of kill-bots."
<Utsapp> "Yay, cancerforms."
<Amyanin> "Or we find another rabid AI."
<Utsapp> "Yay, mennoc?"

Mind boggling
<Nalia> "Amy, for someone who doesn't know what shoes are, you -horrify- me with how competent you are."

NO SHIT?!
* Faen sends communication to the surface group "Attention Captain Toanna? This is the SS Begging Your Pardon, I felt you should be made aware of the fact that our fuel reserves are extremely low, might you procure some while you are down there?"
* Amyanin facepalms
<Daphne> "..."
<Daphne> "I think I'm going to cry."
<+[Alex]> "haahahaha"
<Utsapp> "I am right there with you."
<&Toanna> <WOOOOOOOOOW! You're convenient!>
<&Toanna> <We're staring a pile of fuel cells.>

Possibly worse than an iPod
<@BishGM> Toanna's new PDA starts to whine, "Why are you tweaking me? I'm good as-is! You'll void my warranty!"

...yes, worse
<&Toanna> "Hey you! PDA, fill your belly with music files!"
<@BishGM> The PDA begins to sob.
<&Toanna> "Oooh do you have any star chart programs?"
* &Toanna pokes the PDA.
<Utsapp> "I destroy the next peice of equipment that talks that is not supposed to do so."
<@BishGM> It cries "You're a bad user!" before suddenly shutting down.

Shhh! We're not supposed to know!
<Daphne> "... I think I'm going to cry."
<Nalia> "I think I know why humans went extinct."

Superior Competence
<Amyanin> "Just get full ones. Check the charge gauge indicator."
<Amyanin> "Sheesh."
<Utsapp> "I did not realise they had one."

The cake was also a lie
<&Toanna> <Faen, if you can hear me, the fuel cells are a lie. They are all drained.>
<Utsapp> "Big suprise."
<Amyanin> "No surprise."

Superior Competence has limits
<@BishGM> Daphne spots a cellphone in a pile of fuel cells, it looks like the same model as hers.
<Amyanin> "There's a whatchamacallit there, on the fuel cells."

Unrelated Cultural References GO
<Nalia> "Daphne found a clue!"
<Nalia> "Looks like she ate Velma."
<Amyanin> "...what?"
<Nalia> "Scooby Doo. I ... Ok that won't mean anything to you either."
<Utsapp> "Old cartoon reference."

Shhhh, he might hear you
* Nalia glances at all the others
<Nalia> "If I didn't know better I'd say the gods are toying with us."
<Utsapp> "Fun."

And it's impolite as well!
<&Toanna> "Also these PDAs aren't giving me star charts."
* &Toanna STARES at her other PDA.
<@BishGM> The PDA raspberries Toanna.

POLICE!
* &Toanna pokes pokes pokes pokes.
<@BishGM> Toanna's PDA begins to scream, "HELP! POLICE! I'M BEING MOLESTED!"
<Nalia> o.<
<Amyanin> "Tell it you're a cop."
<Amyanin> "I mean, you are a cop, right?"
<&Toanna> "On Metro, yes."

Medical Rampage
<Utsapp> "Like I said, I am destroying the next thing that talks that is not supposed to."
<Daphne> "Everything.. talks..."
<Utsapp> "A lot of destruction will happen, then."

No time for games
<&Toanna> "If this wasn't a life or death situation I'd suggest getting large broomsticks and doing luggage cart jousts."
<Amyanin> "Maybe later."

Oh, the follies of authors
* Nalia gets in the forklift ".... Well I can see but it's probably slower than a tantric snail in bed."

On the verge
<Nalia> "Apopleptic apocalypse?"
* Daphne gets into the truck the rest of them are. Probably the back.
<Amyanin> "If you get a heart attack, then yes."
<Nalia> "I'm pretty close to a stroke, I'll tell you."
<Nalia> "If one more horrible thing happens I'm promoting myself to Admiral and Toanna to captain."

Oh sure, blame US
<Daphne> "If I die, I'm blaming all of you."

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>.o
<Amyanin> "Wouldn't be the first time I eat food that talks."

More unrelated cultural references
<Nalia> "It's the Twilight Zone."
* &Toanna slinks into the bakery.
<Amyanin> "What's a twilight zone?"

Freshly cut, sir?
<@BishGM> He reaches into the oven and pulls out a long loaf of french bread, "Bread?"
<&Toanna> "Yes, bread..."
<@BishGM> A metal skewer pops out from the end of the loaf. "Bread."
* &Toanna grimaces.
<&Toanna> "Cute..."
<@BishGM> He hurls it at Toanna like a spear.
<&Toanna> "Wha?"

Haha, no, you can't
* Nalia happily waltzes out of the shop and goes for the truck all casual, snackencakes in hand
<Amyanin> "If those start talking, I'm eating the lot of them."
<Nalia> "They're for Faen and if they start talking it's a bonus."

This isn't the worse she's seen
<Amyanin> "Sooooo... what's going on in there?"
<Nalia> "Baker with breadknives. ... It's weirder than it sounds."
* &Toanna leaps the counter drawing her clubs and getting in his face.
<Amyanin> "...typical. So what's the problem, then?"
<Nalia> "He may or may not be beating Toanna to death."
<Amyanin> "It happens."

Priorities
* &Toanna checks his vitals.
* Amyanin checks for bagels

It wasn't a bluff
<Amyanin> "Do you talk, bagel?"
* Amyanin eyes it thoughfully
<Amyanin> ((but not too close))
<@BishGM> The bagel hesitantly says, "No?"
<+[Alex]> "Hey, while we're all chatting up the pastries, I was seeing somethings moving around in the alley shadows."
<Amyanin> "Eh, you lied. In you go!"
* Amyanin omnomnomns
<@BishGM> The bagel goes down screaming.

The Bread Strikes Back
<@BishGM> Daphne confirms Toanna's suspicions: the baker is made of bread.
<Daphne> "... Bread... how... I don't understand! This isnt' scientifically possible!"
* Daphne looks like she's about to cry

Just when you need one...
<Nalia> "Just my luck, I grabbed the only non-sentient pastries on the planet."

NOOOOOOOoooooooooooooo!
<Nalia> "Change of plans. From now on we're saying "hi" to -everything-."
<Nalia> "You don't talk, do you, faithful truck?"
<@BishGM> The truck grunts but says nothing.
* Nalia looks at everyone else "I'm about to lose it, I really am."

CrAzY? mE?
Nalia> "Table, do you talk? What about you road cone. Lamp? Come on, I'm just looking for a little conversation."
<@BishGM> The barricades come apart easily and fail to respond to Nalia's inquiries.

...eeew
<@BishGM> It's dark inside the Factory, the stench of rot fills the air.
<Amyanin> "Oh, fun times ahead."

...yeah
<@BishGM> The truck grunts again and begins to snooze.
<Amyanin> "Now I kinda hope it doesn't snore."
<Nalia> "I just ... "

I'm going to regret this...
<+[Alex]> "so.. how does one get infected by a cancerform"
<+[Alex]> "Hopefully not by eating chatty food products."
* Amyanin eyes her stomach
<Nalia> "Faen would make an adorable cancerform."

Hard to counter-argue
<Amyanin> "Never assume people are not stupid enough."
<Amyanin> "I've too many proof of the contrary."

Wrong. Just wrong.
<@BishGM> Laying where they fell are the bodies of some fifty individuals, all of them fused to the ground or walls to some degree.
<Amyanin> "That can't be right."

It always works
* Nalia kicks the computer when she reaches it
<Amyanin> "Ah, it needs percussive maintenance."
<@BishGM> Nalia shames the rest by pulling up the last-accessed databank: a real-time star chart of the surrounding systems.

Playing God
<@BishGM> There's a loud humming in the Factory's core as it begins to do... something.
<Amyanin> "Is that sound good?"
<Nalia> "We are so in over our heads."
<@BishGM> An alcove in the far wall slides open to reveal a new fuel cell.
<Daphne> "I have no idea."
<Amyanin> "Hey, I just want ONE fuel cell. If there are more, so be it."
<&Toanna> "Amyanin, I could hug you right now."

Pragmatic
<@BishGM> It sprouts a pair of spindly arms and legs.
<Amyanin> "...I hope it can walk to our ship, then."

Same thing, right?
<Nalia> "I'm not about to tell a sentient to spend its entire life sitting in our engine room bored out of its mind. One Mennoc is enough, and we already have two!"
<Amyanin> "Nah, they can share memories."

Who's a pet, now?
<Amyanin> "And Faen is entertaining. Maybe."
* Nalia approaches the fuel cell cautiously and pokes it
<&Toanna> "It can be a pet for Faen."
* Amyanin pffts and laughs

Sudden realization
<Amyanin> "Ok, I prefer non-sentient fuel cells, all things considered."

Playing God, again
* Amyanin patiently waits for the new results
<Nalia> "Hey, tell it to make a cute mascot character for our ship. How about a dragon. Or imp."
<+[Alex]> "Make humans."
<@BishGM> The new fuel cell gurgles for a bit and begins leaking.
* Amyanin will probably get another damn talking fuel cell
<Amyanin> "That's not good. I think."
<&Toanna> "uhhh."

It always does
<Daphne> "It'll only end in pain, tears, and death."

She runs on music
<&Toanna> "OH hey! This hell hole has FM."
* &Toanna sings "noooooobdy knows, the trouble's I've seeeeeeeeen..."

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Oh bummer
<@BishGM> Shota squeals in glee from the copilot's seat as the dropship launches.
* Nalia holds her forhead "Oh gods my worst nightmare has come true."

Ubrelated Cultural... oh you know this already
<Faen> <Comm: *Heavy breathing* Toanna... I am... your drop ship>
<Utsapp> "Oh dear lord."

It's the subtitles that do it
<Toanna> "OK BUSTER! YOU ASKED FOR IT!"
<Faen> "Comm: Frightened statement: Noo Don't hit me i'm a wussy girl bot! Aieeeee"

She's a cop
<Toanna> "ATTACKING PEOPLE IS NOT AN APPROPRIATE FORM OF GREETING!"
<Toanna> "YOU BROUGHT THIS ON YOURSELF!"

He wants to see the show
<Faen> <Comm: "No Mennoc I dont' think they want to hear your voice over the robots speakers... okay... fine here I'll patch you in"
<Daphne> "Oh dear."
<@BishGM> Mennoc's voice rings out from the giant, "If any of you happen to have a high definition camera on hand please set it up so I can watch your inevitable deaths in great detail? That would be great."

The insurances won't cover it
<Faen> <Comm "How much trouble do I get in for driving the drop ship through the other robot?>
<Amyanin> <A lot more than you can pay for.>

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Oh, the horror
<Nalia> "If I'm gonna die I want whoever looks at this camera to be horrified."

Enough to power a planet
<@BishGM> After some laborious labor Faen drags enough cabling to hook up the two ships' engines and brings the lights back on.
* Faen whistles happily
<Amyanin> ((that's gotta be a shitload of cables))

It's raining grenades, Halleluyah!
* Nalia pulls out an adhesive grenade .. narrows her eyes ... pulls the pin ... waits for it ... waits for it ... and HURL! Hopefully at a joint!
* Amyanin sees a grenade flying overhead
<Amyanin> "What the?"

Once in a lifetime
<@BishGM> The grenade bounces once and flips end over end... into the giant's gaping maw. A split second later a sharp bang rips its jaws off its hinges and sends bits of metal and plastic everywhere.
<Utsapp> "...Impressive."
<Nalia> "Just don't ask me to do it again, that was my only one."

INCOMING!
<@BishGM> The jaw clips the edge of the truck's bed, flips up, and lands square in the middle of the team, causing little to no damage to the truck itself... although it is a bit cramped in the back now.
<Nalia> "...."
<Nalia> "Souvenir?"
<Amyanin> "Something tells me it's not safe to have that around."
<Amyanin> "What if it randomly start nibbling on someone?"
<Utsapp> "We came, we saw, we got a jaw? Veni, Vedi, tastey?"
* Toanna shoves the jaw out of the truck... right into the way of tromping feet.

No. Just... no.
<Nalia> "It might have a WE DON'T NEED ONE THAT BADLY LET'S GET THE HELL OUT OF HERE!"
<Amyanin> "...fuel cell?"
<Amyanin> "You're giving me bad ideas."

Ooooh hooooh
* Toanna stops at the hood of the truck while she's walking by, "You poor thing. You saved our lives though, I won't forget that. Thanks."
* Toanna kisses the truck on the side of the hood daintily.
<@BishGM> The truck grumbles.
* Utsapp eyes the truck, and Toanna "Should I leave you two alone?"

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HOLY SHI-
<@BishGM> It takes a moment for Daphne to register something zipping over her shoulder but she immediately notices the explosion in the hanger behind her. The groaning and screeching of metal echoes out as several ships begin to shift from the disturbance.

Still in HOLY SHI- mode
* Daphne is still stunned from the fact that she was almost sans head.

In cop-mode
* &Toanna stares at the robot.
* &Toanna digs out a pad.
* &Toanna scribbles on it.
* &Toanna sticks a parking ticket to the robot's forehead.

Hop hop hop
<@BishGM> Daphne waddles at full speed into the dropship, her bounce... hypnotizing. Perhaps a little erotic even.

I'm siiiiiiiiiiiinging in the raaaaaaaiiiiiiin...
* Nalia grabs the comm again to try something else, and starts singing at the top of her lungs into the microphone to distract it! Or something. Anything!
* Nalia stops her singing when the distraction clearly isn't working
<@BishGM> The giant looks around, confused.
* Nalia .... starts again?

Kind of clueless, sometimes
* Amyanin thinks the ex-dropship is losing it, since it seems to be spouting nonsense

The cop says it
<&Toanna> "That planet is made out of rape."
<&Toanna> "The factory on this side is ok, but there's a factory on the other side."
<&Toanna> "And the planet is made out of rape."

Still not over it
<Daphne> "Well, there's a good reason it is 'made out of rape' as you called it, I think..."
<Daphne> "... I almost died."

Do not fuck with this doctor
<Utsapp> "Cancer.Form.Home.World. I say we nuke the whole thing from obit then."
<&Toanna> "Utsapp, find a nuke and I'm all for it."
<Utsapp> "Yay!"

Mind boggling smart
<Amyanin> "Oh, like I was saying... that factory malfunctioned before it got shut down. Remember the half-bodies in the walls and floor?"
<Daphne> "Yes."
<Amyanin> "The factory couldn't function automatically like it should because it was missing a key element."
<&Toanna> "It was a double size hole too for a VI."

Still pitching for the other team
<Nalia> "Does that not freak ANY of you out?"
<Amyanin> "Isn't it grandiose?"
<Amyanin> "No wonder Mennoc keeps complaining the squishies aren't elevating him to a god."

Science officer, reporting
<Amyanin> "Captain, Mr. Bat Boy became a cancerform at some point over which we have no reference. It could have been latent for years, and only Daphne can answer that one for me."

Pity
<Amyanin> "I feel sad for that truck. It was a nice fellow."
<&Toanna> "yeah..."

Double-checking
<Amyanin> "Do we have rations for 6-7 more days?"
<Amyanin> "Non-sentient food, I mean?"
<Nalia> "Yes, we do, however, I'm all for getting these people off, home and safe as soon as possible."
* Utsapp looks at Amy "I'm glad you specified?"

POV
<+[Alex]> "We should probably avoid telling Menny what we found down there. He's from that factory but he told us he was from giant flying hands."
<Amyanin> "He might be right, from -his- point of view."

SHUT UP!
<Amyanin> "...hey, where's that weaponized pastry?"
<Nalia> "Shhhhhhhhh."
<Nalia> "Ixnay on the Astrypay."
* Amyanin puzzles at Nalia

She's had worse doctors
<&Toanna> "GWAR!"
* &Toanna attempts to make fake clawing motions at Amyanin.
<&Toanna> ... only to have her run off.
* Amyanin is not impressed on her way in

Ok, maybe not
* Utsapp flashs his claws and begins work
* Amyanin wonders if these are proper medical procedures
* Utsapp looks properly medical?

Food shouldn't talk in there!
<Utsapp> "I think your food is still talking, Amy."
* Daphne looks scientific, at least. She scribbles something down and, once Amyanin's done, sends her out.
* Amyanin eyes her belly. Wtf?
<Utsapp> "Next!"
<Amyanin> "They usually stop at this point! I swear!"

Porn has its limits
<Nalia> "If you two start making out in there I'm docking your pay whenever I get around to start paying you!"
<Amyanin> "I thought you'd document it first?"
<Nalia> "I don't write about rabbits. Bad experiences. Pink one. Best if you don't know."
* Amyanin shrugs again

Worse. Vacation. Ever
<&Toanna> "This vacation doesn't have nearly enough making out."
<&Toanna> "Worst. Vacation. Ever."

The twinkies know all
<Utsapp> "Your food is still talking too."
<Utsapp> "Something about 'not enough fiber in here, I'm lonely."
<Daphne> "Bah, I eat plenty of fiber..."

Insulting your food
<Daphne> "Well, so did the food some of us ate, and all it's doing is complaining about how I'm a fatass, so."

NOOOOOOOOOOOooooooooooo
<&Toanna> "Faen...."
<Faen> 'Aye cap'n?
* &Toanna looks pained like she's trying to break the news of some one who has fallen in the field of battle, "The snackencakes..."
<&Toanna> "They didn't make it."
<&Toanna> "The wake shall be held later."

Channeling
<Amyanin> "I have a bad feeling about this."

She gets no love
* Faen wanders into engineering and checks some systems still feeling really depressed about the lost snackencakes

Unspeakable science!
* Daphne commits unspeakable acts of science to the cancerpretzal.

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Because flying a piece of junk in space isn't an option?
<&Toanna> <So... why exactly are we in here instead of getting the hell out of dodge?>
<Nalia> <Supplies, information...>
* +[Alex] follows behind Toanna.
<Amyanin> "Possibly another ship that's not falling to pieces."

Don't tempt fate
<+[Alex]> <Some answers would be nice though.>
* &Toanna starts heading for the bridge.
<&Toanna> <So long as they don't try eating our face.>
<Utsapp> <I am all for answers that do not eat our face.>
<Amyanin> "Shh..."

Doo dee doo!
* &Toanna looks for a VI core.
<@BishGM> There is a VI core sitting in its slot.

BOOM
* Amyanin eyes a certain power switch, sets it to "ON".
<Amyanin> "Hopefull this isn't a self-destruct."
<@BishGM> With a loud "CLANK" the ship's generators begin humming back to life, followed by the lights and a breeze coming from the ventilation.
<Amyanin> "That's good, yes?"
<+[Alex]> "Hopefully."

Just buttons
<Nalia> <See what you can get off their computers while you still have power>
<Amyanin> "We need access to whatever databanks there is left."
<&Toanna> <Someone else better with computers take over, I'm liable to push something wrong here...>
<Amyanin> "Well alright then..."
<Nalia> <Wait. Amy has computer skill? What. What!?>
<Amyanin> "It's just buttons, you know."

Not even sarcastic
* Faen after a moment of checking a beep on a control panel, ShipWideComm: Ladies and Gentlemen, the Nalia just foamed herself. The people's liberation front lives on!

Doo dee doo
* Nalia grumbles and looks for a mop
<@BishGM> Nalia discovers: a mop!

No comment
* Nalia moons it
<Faen> "Statement: Did not want."

Nalia scares easily or something
<Faen> "That's fine I have a plan"
<Nalia> "You frighten me. You know that right?"

Do not lose
* Faen parks the ship like a pro, while mysteriously playing bejeweled on the console.

RUN AWAY!
<@BishGM> As the first batch of instant meals touch the Oblige's deck, something happens.
<@BishGM> There is a deep and terrible rumble from the heart of the battered luxury cruiser.

The cop is here
<@BishGM> As Toanna opens the kitchen door she is treated to the sight of an all-but-naked chef (still wearing his hat) standing on top of a counter, roaring.
* &Toanna sighs, and speaks, "Please state the nature of the emergency."

Oops
<Faen> "Really.. food stuffs? Without getting approval from the kitchenstaff? You are all MAAAAD"

Ha ha, no
<@BishGM> The naked chef suddenly drops out of a grate in front of the instant food, "YOU SHALL NOT PASS."
<Amyanin> "You are on the wrong ship, mister."
<Amyanin> "Also, the crates are mighty cold. You will get freezeburned."
<@BishGM> The chef blinks for a moment and looks around him.
<@BishGM> "YOU WIN... FOR NOW."
<@BishGM> He clamps the cleaver between his teeth again and disappears back into the ventilation.

Are you -really- a cop?
* &Toanna says to Faen comms off as she walks, "There's a voice in my head that's growing that says I should just start clubbing people first and asking questions later."

To each their own
<Faen> "Besides, the cook is a fantastic guy, once you get over the slicey nature and twitching vein on his forehead"

Been there, done that
<&Toanna> <Just watch as a naked chef peddling sausages factors into one of Nalia's next books.>

Guess the cook is still in a fowl mood
<&Toanna> <My dinner is in the shape of an angry face.>

Hard squeeze
<Nalia> *Comm <Faen, it turns on when you give it a good hard squeeze.>
<Faen> *Comm "Squeezing it hard? That seems sort of cruel"
<Nalia> *Comm <Try firmly then.>
<Faen> "You dont' like being squeezed hard do you pretzy"
<@BishGM> The pretzel fails to respond.
* Nalia shakes her head
* Faen squeezes the pretzel lightly
<@BishGM> Sharp salt crystals snap out around the outer edge of the pretzel.
<Faen> "Who likes to cut people? yes you do... yes you do!"

Politics
<Amyanin> "...it's not an emergency, btw."
<Amyanin> "Don't listen to the silly panicky people."

The hunger lingers on
<@BishGM> The Hammer's Mennoc nods at Amyanin, "A pleasure to see you again, I trust your trip to the planet was uneventful?"
<Amyanin> "Terrible. I'm still hungry."

Squealing foam
* Faen glances around curiously "That's odd I wonder where Shota is"
<@BishGM> A little pile of foam squeals at the mention of his name.
<Faen> "aww someones flame retardent!"

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Students, eesh
<Daphne> "I'm afraid that I'm going to have to politely decline due to past incidents, a past in a sorority, and an extreme aversion to phallic edibles."

Do. Not. Want.
<@BishGM> "Do not worry, my pretty, there is nothing edible about my phallic love."

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Tsk
<Daphne> "My scientifically tuned aesthetic senses are extremely appaled by this horrifying display."
<Daphne> "Also my tits are not that big."

Sounds like someone who needs a vacation
* Amyanin ponders the vast emptiness of space. It's silent. Calm. Peaceful.

Discretion
<Daphne> "That was horrible."
<Faen> "It was... let us never speak of it again"

Garbage
<Amyanin> "There's no way he's coming aboard, unless we can forget him somewhere in space."
<Amyanin> "Or on Toutenbois. They don't have much distractions over there..."

He always does that
<@BishGM> "NO LOVE! NO BAD TOUCH!"
<@BishGM> The taxi starts tearing away.

Stealth, the Toutenbois-way
<Nalia> "... Amy, actually question ... none of us had our clothes removed why are you - ... ... well nevermind. Not that I'm complaining."
<Amyanin> "Hey, the freak never noticed me."

Hats are more important than pants
<[Alex]> "There is a huge lack of hats."
<[Alex]> "and hat shape structures."
<Amyanin> "If they don't cover their heads they'll all get heat strokes."
* &Toanna adjusts her beret.

Fashion
<@BishGM> "Yeah... that's the thing. Not many people run around with spacesuits on."
<Faen> "I was in space."
<Amyanin> "I forgot mine on the space ship."
<Faen> "She was naked."

Later
<Amyanin> "...so, what's stilts?"
<Nalia> "I'll tell you later."
* Amyanin shrugs: "Ok."

Is that sexual harrassment?
* Nalia nods to the others and pats Amyannin on the hip "Ok, let's go."
<Nalia> *Comm <Toanna, Faen, we're leaving.>
* Amyanin eyes Nalia and her hip

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Family ties
<@BishGM> The officer looks at Amyanin, "Not many families carry children and chainsaws at the same time, m'am."
* Nalia just waits for the taxi
<Amyanin> "I know a few, and then some."

DUH!
<Nalia> "By the way Faen, you're famous."
<Faen> "Of course! I'm me!"

THEY LIED!
<Faen> "They said they didn't come in stripes!"
<Faen> "Now I'm just pissed off."

Madness
<@BishGM> "What the f-!?"
<Nalia> "Oh gods I love it when that happens."
<Faen> "CHAINSAW DIPLOMACY!"
<Daphne> "... Am I actually seeing this, or am I hallucinating?"
* Amyanin nods, smiling

They have cops on Toutenbois?!
<Nalia> "Toanna you deal with the cops when they get here. Someone get his minigun, that could come in handy. Ok everybody you can relax! Situation is resolved!"
* Amyanin ponders: "...won't they need this weapon as evidence?"
<Nalia> "Well ..... probably. Ok fine, you can leave it. But take all the ammo out and throw it aside."
<Toanna> "They will."
<Amyanin> "I'm not touching it. Just in case."
<Toanna> "Try to confiscate it and it's obstruction of justice."

Chainsaw > Minigun
<Faen> "I punch you in the face"
<Faen> "Seriously man, do you think this was wise? Chainsaw diplomacy versus minigun? You know whose gonna win"

Offensive and 'offensive'
* Amyanin looks at Nalia. She finally says: "Hey, I'd rather have a ship I know, and which can shoot, than a ship that's offensive in all the wrong ways."
<Nalia> "Yeah. I know."

But from -whom-?
<Faen> "I haven't had this many suspiscious eyes on me since my only brother ate the last cookie"

Primitives
<Faen> "I am not getting naked on some primitive playland to sait your indigenous curiosities."

Maybe she meant some other time
<Amyanin> "I've worn less before and wasn't naked."
<Nalia> "Actually you were Amy."

Restful for some, nightmarish for others
<[Alex]> "So far this has been the best vacation ever."
<Amyanin> "Except with less beer."

Science is exciting
<Daphne> "... Sorry. I get excited lately when I'm working on things, for some reason."

Easy statement
<Amyanin> "I reiterate: hungry."
<Faen> "I concur: Amyanin is hungry."

The eyes have it
<Toanna> "Group motions for lunch, all in favor say aye."
<Amyanin> "Eye."
<Faen> "Eye"

Pump it up
* Faen returns with a really long set of straws that are going into the helmet.
* Amyanin figured Faen would need a pump for that

You need to double-tip
<@BishGM> There's plenty of space on the table to work on devices if there is any need for it.
<@BishGM> Or have sex on the table if the mood strikes, though the employees might frown upon that.

Primitives, part 2
<Faen> "These primitive playlands disturb me sometimes."

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Understatement
<Nalia> "... Oh man. We're so fucked."
<Faen> "Not really.. it seems like a win-win situation to me, either I win.. or I win!?
<Nalia> "I said we. WE!"

Unrel- oh hell with this, SPACEBALLS
<Faen> "I see your saw is as big as mine..." She says regarding the other suit.

Don't confuse her MORE
<Nalia> "FAEN! RUN!"
<Faen> "Nonsence! On my homeworld we don't know the meaning of the word run... unless the law is involved."
<Nalia> "WE ARE THE LAW! SO TECHNICALLY WE'RE INVOLVED!"

Maybe a duel between Toanna and the chef is in order
<@BishGM> The suit in front of Faen suddenly turns into ribbons of metal and fabric in a flurry of slices.

Why, it's just a flesh wound!
* Faen world gets rocked by Chainsaws
<&Toanna> "SHIT!"
<Faen> "Aww dammit now i'm bleeding"
<@BishGM> A lucky chainsaw across Faen's back leaves her heavily wounded - but still masked! Nobody can see her expression of pain (or joy, if she's into that).

Maybe she's starting to like cops. Maybe.
<@BishGM> A suit splits in twain from Toanna's attack.
<Faen> "I approve of your law enforcement training~"

Sober Gunslinger
* +[Alex] quickdaws his second pistol and opens fire on suits!
<@BishGM> The helmets of two suits explode, leaving Alex to blow the smoke from his pistols.

Friendly fire! FRIENDLY FIRE!
* Nalia fires at the last suit on Toanna and Faen, closing two of her left eyes and saying a prayer!
<@BishGM> Faen sees a bullet zip by the front of her helmet.
<Faen> "WRONG ONE"

Revenge
<@BishGM> The last suit in melee turns on Faen as the one in the back cries out, "This is for tearing off my face last time!"
<Faen> "Oh come off it, it was a fugly face and trust me I KNOW"

The -wrong- doctor
<Faen> "I wonder if I could cauterize that for you with my spot welder"
<@BishGM> Welding Toanna is not advised.
<Faen> "who wants chainsaw surgery!?'

Duct tape fixes ALL
<@BishGM> With some creative duct taping and gauze work Amyanin manages to fix up Toanna as good as new.
<@BishGM> Faen's treatment doesn't go as well, since she refuses to get out of her suit.
<Faen> "Amyanin is the queen of duct tape"
<Amyanin> "Good thing I always carry a roll."

WIN
* &Toanna is covered in duct tape and blue blood stains, but she has hot chocolate, so all in all, win.

Preachers
<@BishGM> "Wouldn't you want to see someone try to pump grateful, weeping people for more money?"
<Nalia> "Not ... really."
<Amyanin> "I've seen people do that. They usually don't live for too long."

Paperwork
<@BishGM> "It'll be a couple of days, first we have to confirm the nature of the computers you found, then the background check, the award ceremony, press conference, the forms, and the official waiver of tax..."
<Amyanin> "Paperwork."

Not a doctor, but
* Amyanin looks at Toanna's ex-wounds
<Amyanin> "I wonder if I did a good job there..."
<Nalia> "Amy, don't poke at them."
* Amyanin frowns: "Hey now, I know better."

Keep your head out of the gutter!
<Amyanin> "The planet is rather... dead. Some say it was 'raped'."
<Nalia> "That must have been a biiiiiiiiiiig..."
* Faen idly smacks Nalia upside the back of the head without seeming to move.

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It's a Medieval thing, really
* &Toanna strides in, "So Nalia..."
<&Toanna> "Does your planet have an innate sense of dramaticism?"

Asplody
<Daphne> "You know, part of me wants to see a university on this planet. Just to see what it looks like."
<Daphne> "And if it explodes as often as some of the ones back home."

Budget demanded it
<Nalia> "Oh, don't worry about that Daphne. We combined our Universities with our Fireworks Factories twenty years ago to save time."

Impressive
<Faen> "And how to play 'Oh Suzanna' on a chainsaw"
<Daphne> "... I've got to hear this."
<Daphne> "Not right now, though."

Most Impressive
<Faen> "Do not question the power of my stupidity"
<Nalia> "No argument there."
<Amyanin> "..."

WMD
<Daphne> "I also know how to make a potentially world-ending device out of a piece of gun, sixteen paperclips, a microwave, and Nalia."
<Nalia> "I'm an essential component of a weapon of mass destruction!"

Taboo
<Amyanin> "Only in New Jersey."
<Nalia> "We don't talk about New Jersey."
<Amyanin> "Shhhh."

Nuking the Fourth Wall
<@BishGM> "I am a law enforcement agent, miss, as my college here can testify," he gestures at Toanna, "the days when somebody doesn't want to kill us is a good day."
<Amyanin> "Collegue."

It would drip a lot
<Amyanin> "She doesn't. Otherwise she'd be amused, and that implies sarcasm."
<Daphne> "You know, sometimes I wonder if we could power society through sarcasm..."
* Nalia turns to Daphne "Not practical until we learn to make our own AIs"
* Amyanin looks at Daphne: "If only."

As refreshing as it can be
<Faen> "The law enforcement on this planet is a refreshing breath of canned air"

Nausea-inducing information
* Daphne nods. "Do you want hard copies, or do you want me to just regurgitate the information?"
<Daphne> "Not literally regurgitate it."
* Faen hands Daphne an air sickness bag.

The Horror
<Nalia> "Faen, have you ever read any of my books? You know what I can do to you."
* Daphne eyes Nalia. "Dont' even joke about that, that's just horrible."
* Nalia turns to Daphne and smiiiiles
<Faen> "I don't read your books, and will continue to do not do so, thus you can do nothing to me other than threaten with verbacious words that will never be processed by my brain"
* Daphne looks utterly terrified.
<Nalia> "I like a challenge Faen, remember that."
* &Toanna smiles.
<Faen> "You already do enough terror with your disreputable brainpan"

Mouthful of typo?
<Nalia> "So ... this is pretty much the moment of Truth, Mr. Faen. Are you gonna kill us all to shut us up and cover this up or be our friend?"
<Faen> "He's not my husband"

RHPS
<Nalia> "You know it occurs to us that we're too entertaining to die."
<Daphne> "... wait, I am?"
<Daphne> "The rock that holds us together, that is."
<Amyanin> "...does this mean we'll have our own show now?"
<Daphne> "... I hope not, I look horrible on camera."

PUNishement
<Nalia> "A big cuddly squishy rock."
<Faen> "Granite I'm not sure that's a compliment"
<Faen> "Er... GRANTED... slip of the gravel there"
<Amyanin> "Polish the thought."

Haaaaaate
<Daphne> "... I hate all of you, sometimes."
<Daphne> "... Never change."
<Faen> "Only sometimes?"

Dot dot dot
* Faen leans forward and strokes Thane's beard for him, "Here I'm helping you multi task"
<Nalia> "And you say you're not married."
<Faen> "Not ANYMORE!"
<Faen> "well.. I think not anymore.. I did sign that paper"
<@BishGM> Thane sits back and lets Faen stroke his beard, "Ah, this bring backs memories."

Bring the sledgehammer, we have a fourth wall to break
<Nalia> "We lucked out really."
<Nalia> "Either that or Thane is buying time for the sniper across the way to line up the head shots."
<Amyanin> "We lucked out of reality?"
<Nalia> "That too."
<Amyanin> "Well hello there fourth wall."
<Daphne> "There is no fourth wall. Never has been."
<Daphne> "... I don't know why I said that."
<Amyanin> "Because you are a veritable fountain of knowledge?"
<&Toanna> "Right."
<&Toanna> "So now that we got the walls of the room squared away, onwards to more important matters."

"Five!" "Three, Sire!" "Three!"
<Nalia> "... Wait. -Three-?"
* Amyanin counts on her fingers. One, two, three. Three?

What are you saying about my mom?
<Nalia> "If you wanted to do that you maybe should have brought them to a planet -other- than X-10. And maybe not taken them from -The Cancerform Homeworld-"
<Nalia> "Even Toutenbois' AI would have been a better choice."
<Amyanin> "Lets keep Crazy Eddy out of this."

Counted out
<Nalia> "Sorry Faen, you're pretty outnumbered."
* Faen counts on her finger, "Me, Sunny, Sunny, Sunny.."

FROM MY COLD, DEAD HANDS
<Nalia> "We're going to have to confiscate that chainsaw one of these days. I mean really."
<Faen> "You and what army?"

...IF ONLY
<+[Alex]> "I wonder what happened with the chef.."
<Nalia> "He and Dr. Love went and made out."

Divide by zero
<&Toanna> "Daph, how good are you with numbers?"
<Amyanin> "She should be."
<Daphne> "I'm a calculator."
<Daphne> "Literally."

Yes, yes he is
* Nalia turns to Shota and smiles "Who's a good little bundle of horrifyingly top secret information? You are! Yes! Why you are!" 8:D
<Daphne> "... I think I'm horrified by now."

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LA LA LA CAN'T HEAR YOU
<Daphne> "Honestly, nothing quite disturbs me anymore about what any of us do."
<Daphne> "Unless it's murder, rape, or something like that."
<Amyanin> "You leave my hobbies out of this."
<Daphne> "..."
* Faen follows the party out, "You know that's illegal on at least 14 planets right?"
<Amyanin> "Yes. I have NJ on my case at least three times already."
<Daphne> "I'm just going to pretend this conversation never happened."

To each their own
<&Toanna> "You dunno stress until you got some madman pointing a rocket pistol at you."
<Nalia> "Been there, done that, wrote it into book four."
<Nalia> "You don't know my fans."
<Daphne> "You don't know stress until you've had to fill out the forms to get grants for your research."
* Daphne urgs. "I couldn't sleep for *weeks*."
<Amyanin> "...what's stress?"

Marital aids
<Daphne> "... Oh *dear*, you want to spend *how much* on bedroom aids?!"
<Amyanin> "...on what?"
<Daphne> "... I'll explain later."

Get your own
<Faen> "And the liquor has to be on there."
<Faen> "Pilot's need their liquor!"
<Amyanin> "It's coming off of his paycheck."

Little bickering
<+[Alex]> "Alright, You will be called Frank."
* Amyanin was typing something...
<Amyanin> "Ellis."
<@BishGM> The cube revolves once, "Please confirm, I am to be known as Frank?"
<+[Alex]> "Confirmed."
* Amyanin typed Ellis and <Enter>
<@BishGM> "Confirmed, I am Frank Ellis."
<+[Alex]> "Sure why not."
<Amyanin> "Ok."

God, it's complicated
<+[Alex]> "Negative.. name it.. .... 'It's gone, it just disapeared off our scopes!' wait, that might be too big.."
<Amyanin> "Panzerfaust."
* Amyanin clicks <Enter>.
<@BishGM> "Please confirm, the ship is to be know as It's Gone, It Just Disappeared Off Our Scopes! Wait, That Might Be Too Big Panzerfaust?"
* Amyanin is about to punch Alex
<+[Alex]> "Will you stop messing it up?"
* Amyanin selects, backspaces, confirms <Panzerfaust>.
* Faen taps the comm < By the way what are we calling the ship? Innocent's Lost?"
<@BishGM> "Confirmed, the ship is Panzerfaust."
* &Toanna is suddenly on the bridge, "God I hate Panzerfausts..."

I knew it!
* Amyanin inputs Faen as engineering officer and shivers slightly
<@BishGM> The handprint reader lights up, "Would "The Glorious Leader" please enter biometric data."
* Amyanin raises an eyebrow

Freaking ducks
<&Toanna> "Is a duck by any other name quack as loudly?"
<Amyanin> "On Dreadmarsh, I'm told they're the most annoying creatures there."

Don't mess with the pilot
<+[Alex]> "If there is a co-pilot at any point I'm airlocking them."
<&Toanna> "Ok Alex but...."
<&Toanna> "Just don't lead us astray."
<&Toanna> "Or someone'll have to float."
<+[Alex]> "Well, if I fail, there's always Faen."
<Daphne> "... Right, Alex is never allowed to fail."

Thanks captain!
* Nalia puts her laptop down folding it up, stands up, then gives Toanna's leg a big meaty hug "Thank you for being Captain."
* &Toanna pat-pat's nalia, "Your welcome.."

Filthy pop-ups
<Faen> "They swarmed me!
<&Toanna> "What did?"
* Faen points at the popups
<&Toanna> "...oh..."

No, really?
<Faen> "I think you are a good captain, not many people could handle this group of crazies"

Good to know, nyark nyark
<@BishGM> "LawyerAssist is available on certain planets."
<Amyanin> "What about space?"
<@BishGM> "There is no law in space."
<Amyanin> "...wonderful."
* Amyanin kind-of-grins

Sure, blame the others
<Nalia> "I take no responsibility for my actions."
<Amyanin> <Sure, blame the captain.>

Shush already
<Daphne> "This simply WILL NOT DO!"
<Daphne> "THIS IS A TRAVESTY! A SCIENTIFIC TRAGEDY!"
<Amyanin> "Shush, the ship is talking."
<Daphne> "I'm going to need UPGRADES! SO MANY UPGRADES!"
<Daphne> "The ship needs more SCIENCE."
<Daphne> "SCIENCE!"

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