The Nightstar Zoo

Just starting this topic as a place to put generally funny snippets of dialog, logfiles, or other IRC chat.

[17:09:25] * Ivan-Sheltie starts eating the whore.
[17:09:32] <MSminion> O.o
[17:09:36] <Emperor_Jackal> o.O
[17:09:44] <DoomLord9> smart dog
[17:09:49] <MSminion> Ivan, don't eat a whore, it's fuckable
[17:09:49] * Ivan-Sheltie snorts at MSminion's senseless request.

That bot ain't right.

Slightly sliced to give it a non-conversation-filled context.

[03:02:43] <BGIDSquall> heh.. there comes a point when an issue is so thoroughly run into the ground that it almost is a server issue.
[03:08:06] * Yin-Tzu blinks at BGIDSquall
[03:08:53] * BGIDSquall blinks back out of courtesy
[03:10:35] <Yin-Tzu> '<BGIDSquall> heh.. there comes a point when an issue is so thoroughly run into the ground that it almost is a server issue.' ...wha?
[03:12:20] <BGIDSquall> When almost everyone knows about something, and its been a constant issue from several parties, one would assume it becomes a problem for the greater powers.
[03:13:01] <Yin-Tzu> When said greater powers have No Fragging Clue, someone should enlighten them.
[03:13:29] <Yin-Tzu> I suggest ritual sacrifice of a lamer in the name of Syloq, followed up by grovelling and chanting.
[03:13:29] <BGIDSquall> They do, actually.
[03:13:39] <Pi> That could work.
[03:14:00] <Pi> Though I fear that Syloq is too much lamer for the average human to handle.
[03:14:13] <Yin-Tzu> Well, then an intermediary is required.
[03:14:16] <Yin-Tzu> I suggest Pi.
[03:14:35] <Yin-Tzu> Not to mention that Pi doubles as a handy sacrifice when all is said and done.
[03:14:57] <Pi> Freud is better. As close to a half a Syloq as you can come.
[03:15:20] <Yin-Tzu> Point there, but isn't a half-syloq of lameness fatal to 80% of users?
[03:15:35] <Pi> Probably.
[03:15:45] <Pi> But one Pi is more than a half Syloq
[03:15:57] <Yin-Tzu> Shhh! We knwo this, but they don't.

Slightly edited to remove Prontos lols.

[13:13] * Pi wanders around the channel drawing pictures on the walls
[13:14] * Pronto follows him, adding obscene little bits.
[13:14] * Schlock follows him, eating the walls.
[13:16] * Pi follows him, putting up curtains.
[13:19] * Pronto follows, putting windows behind the curtains.
[13:20] * Samalander follows, putting peeping toms behind the windows
[13:21] * Kiontar follows, putting fake noses on the peeping toms

Simon_Jester has quit IRC (Quit: Faster than a speeding rock! More powerful than a bag of Funyuns! Able to trip over small children in a single bound! Awaaaaayyyyyyyy!)
[23:19] <Pronto> Awaaaaayyyyyyyy-THUD!
[23:20] <IICV> I prefer "SPLAT".
[23:21] <Pronto> Dealers choice.
[23:21] * bizzybody deals the cards and gets two THUDs and three SPLATs. A Full House!
[23:22] <Pronto> My 4 Ka-Boomies win!
[23:23] <Pronto> Unless someone has a Royal Ka-FWAP?

One of my coworkers took this call, then emailed me the official notes filed for said call...

<b>Here are the notes from my last call. You'll find this amusing....
also unwritten he dropped the phone into the sink as he did the
dishes..... BLOOP, and then nothing, and then "Oh, shit! I dropped
the phone into the sink."

Anyways, Enjoy!

_______________________

The client called wanting to know if we had an IDLE Disconnection
time period because he will get connected and can stay connected,
then he leaves his pc online downloading files while is is gone
and it disconnects after a few hours.

Informed the client that the IDLE Disconnection timer is 12 hours.

Client thinks that this timer is set lower. Informed the client
that it wasn't and that it is more than likely due to changing
conditions on the phoneline.

Client didn't except this as being the cause and wanted to know
what could be done to fixe the issue.

I said that I could re-install the network and Communications, but
I doubt that would fix the problem.

Client said that he re-installed the OS recently.

Client again asked what could be done to fix the issue. I told him
that other than checking his phonelines, there is nothing I can do
or suggest and I doubt he has any real constant linenoise on the
phoneline.

Client said that he was going to enable to disconnection logger
and track it over the course of a week and call back to get his
account credited. Then he wanted to know what I thought about
that.

Informed the client that he is free to handle the situation as he
sees fit.
</b>

What I find humorous is the fact that we actually don't have an idle disconnect time.

<Uncle_Ogredude> I want the 1996 Volvo 850 wagon, no turbo
<Uncle_Ogredude> has about 180 hp
<Tora-Chan> 4 cyl?
<Uncle_Ogredude> 5 cyl
<Uncle_Ogredude> if I put an aftermarket turbo & intercooler in, it'll get about 500hp or so
<Tora-Chan> 5?
<Uncle_Ogredude> yep
<Tora-Chan> weird
<Uncle_Ogredude> five
<Tora-Chan> whoa
<Uncle_Ogredude> mounted facing the front
<Uncle_Ogredude> yeah, whoa
<Uncle_Ogredude> I just love the idea of me at a stoplight next to some dipshit in a riced-out Honda...
<Uncle_Ogredude> He revs his engine, **VROOM!!!!** **VROOM!!!**
<Uncle_Ogredude> I rev my engine... *purr...* *purrrrr...*
<Uncle_Ogredude> light turns green...
<Uncle_Ogredude> SHAZAM, I'm halfway down the block before he even starts
<Uncle_Ogredude> in my STATION WAGON
* ElliKitty giggles
<Uncle_Ogredude> with a wife, 2 kids, and a dog in the back.
<Uncle_Ogredude> see how you like THAT, rice boy.
<Tora-Chan> lol
<Uncle_Ogredude> of course this doesn't take into account the kids yelling "Make it go faster, Dad! Faster!"
<Uncle_Ogredude> and the wife with the white-knuckles grip on the dashboard
<Uncle_Ogredude> and the dog in the back trying to figure out why there's suddenly a 100mph wind in his face...
<Tora-Chan> lol
<ElliKitty> ^_^
<Uncle_Ogredude> I kinda feel sorry for the dog.
<Uncle_Ogredude> Not the wife, she needs to loosen up a little.
* ElliKitty giggles
<Tora-Chan> heh
<Tora-Chan> rofl

_________________
Fandemonium 2010 -- No Boundaries.
http://www.fandemonium.org
Friday - Sunday, August 6th - 8th, 2010
Nampa Civic Center - Nampa, Idaho (Only 20 minutes from the airport!)
(Idaho: It ain't just potatoes anymore.)

[18:50:01] <UPC747> Og may I PM you?
[18:50:10] <Ogredude> yah
[18:51:26] <^^DeAmOn^> Og, may I smack you?
[18:51:36] <Pi> Og, may I DoS you?
[18:51:59] <Wulfsbane> Og, may I annoy you?
[18:52:32] <Schlock> Og, may I eat you?
[18:52:41] <Simon_Jester> Og, may I violate your dog?
[18:53:02] <Vorn> Og, may I... aw, jeez, I'm not following that.
[18:53:03] <Tora-Chan[furball]> ...
[18:53:08] <Tora-Chan[furball]> Og, may I kill them?

Gee. An AOL user. I would never have guessed.

-DeltaArc.TX.US.Nightstar.Net- *** Notice -- Client exiting: Seifer (Seifer@ACA0D90F.ipt.aol.com) [Quit: WE ARE MERCENARIES BLOW STUFF UP!!! OH NO?! TEH CONTROLLAR IS MARFUNCTION? WE RISE BREAK TEH OPPRESSAR! BUG?! A FIGHTING. BLOW TEH REACTAR!!!!!!!]

<Syloq> ya know I HATE it when ppl think im JUST picking on them, and im picking on them cuz of who they are or what they are....im picking on ppl cuz i FEEL like it....fuckin whiny bitches

* Dark_Tiger has this image of Ogre driving some battlemech-like Taxibot.

I think I have more in common with Syloq than any of the rest of you...

I just read this whole thread, and laughed myself silly. Thanks, you guys. I needed a good chuckle.

I love you all to pieces.

[13:18:03] * Joins: Demon ()
[13:20:00] <MSminion> You need something, Demon?
[13:20:26] <Demon> y?
[13:20:38] <MSminion> You need to not randomly private message people that you don't knwo. For all you knwo I might be a psychotic lunatic with an o-line and a very short temper.
[13:21:09] <Demon> ok . 666
[13:21:16] * Quits: Demon ()


[14:25:35] * Chalain reads the backscroll.
[14:25:48] <Chalain> I wouldn't call you a lunatic, MSminion. You don't get better when the moon isn't full.

<KemloCaesar> Oh, look! My spam is offering me Steaming_Teen_Buttholes! How can I possibly resist!
<drewster> Yummy!
<JeremiahSmith> ...
<Karen> Umm...
<JeremiahSmith> Ewwww.
<drewster> I hear they're much healthier than fried buttholes...
<Karen> I'm gonna go out on a limb here, and say: I can resist.
<Dr_Nick> I know I cant.
<Dr_Nick> After all, I am a proctologist.
<Pi> Man, all I get is an offer of $34M from some guy in Nigeria.
<Pi> Yeah, right. Like there's that much in the whole country...
<Pi> I need to get me some more believable spam.
<Pi> Like a sorority of teenaged asian sluts that all want my cock.

*blinks repeatedly*

Umm, yeah, what he said...

[11:33:39] <MSminion> The world has changed.
[11:33:41] <MSminion> It will never be the same again.
[11:39:39] <Karen> Why is that, Minion?
[11:40:15] <MSminion> Oh, it's just one of the side-effects of time.
[11:40:37] <Karen> <snicker>
[11:41:16] <Karen> The preceding has been brought to you by the Committee to Name Reasons Why I Love Pi.
[11:42:02] <theM> Reasons found so far: 1

[10:50:12] <jon787> anyone see CNN today?
[10:50:22] <JeremiahSmith> No.
[10:50:25] <JeremiahSmith> We're all oblivious.
[10:50:34] <jon787> is that sarcasm?
[10:50:55] <JeremiahSmith> Do I need a sign?
[10:51:03] <jon787> no you need the <sarcasm> tags

* JeremiahSmith curses loudly and creatively
[GlobOps] DeepThought.NY.US.Nightstar.Net: No response from Escher.ON.CA.Nightstar.Net[24.215.6.162], closing link
*** Samalander (samalander@65.123.190.ns-21923) has left IRC (Escher.ON.CA.Nightstar.Net DeepThought.NY.US.Nightstar.Net)
*** DarthSleep (DarthParad@Nightstar-22904.reshall.umich.edu) has left IRC (Escher.ON.CA.Nightstar.Net DeepThought.NY.US.Nightstar.Net)

(more netsplit quits deleted)

<JeremiahSmith> Wow. I should swear like that more often.
<Ogredude> quite definitely.
<Ogredude> Well, let's put it back together now.
* JeremiahSmith uncurses loudly and creatively.
[GlobOps] DeepThought.NY.US.Nightstar.Net: Link with Escher.ON.CA.Nightstar.Net[escher@24.215.6.162.4797] established.
*** PinkFreud (WhyNot@Admin.Nightstar.Net) has joined #Schlock_Mercenary
*** Rhamphoryncus (rhamph@Nightstar-19982.ed.shawcable.net) has joined #Schlock_Mercenary
*** Schlock (~schlock@Nightstar-15992.microsoft.com) has joined #Schlock_Mercenary
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(more net rejoins deleted)

<JeremiahSmith> Whoa.
<JeremiahSmith> I am SO GOOD at that.

_________________
Fandemonium 2010 -- No Boundaries.
http://www.fandemonium.org
Friday - Sunday, August 6th - 8th, 2010
Nampa Civic Center - Nampa, Idaho (Only 20 minutes from the airport!)
(Idaho: It ain't just potatoes anymore.)

Ok, first, a disclaimer.

Nero's Neptune = Jen = Wulfy's girlfriend.

[20:02:52] <Nero`s_Neptune> Could you kill Wulfy for me?

There is only one possible response.

[20:02:59] <Vornicus> Why?

Vorn

Funny, I was thinking of a response more along the lines of:
<Pi> Slice and dice, or extra tasty crispy?

(Discussing the formation of The Red Menace alliance in BlackNova Traders Mk II)

<Ogredude> I seriously think it should be just the 3 of us
<JeremiahSmith> Yeah.
<JeremiahSmith> Three is a good size for a conspiracy.
<JeremiahSmith> In the worst case, there's lots of people to kill.
<JeremiahSmith> Plus, I suspect no one else is going to have quite the efficiency we will.
<Ogredude>
<Ogredude> or should I say
<Ogredude> mwaaaaahahahahaha
<JeremiahSmith> They'll be all "Help! I'm being attacked by the Reds!" and no one else in their alliance will help, because they'll all be busy doing their own thing.
<Ogredude> yep
<Ogredude> whereas we'll be on them like... like... damn, my metaphor generator's broken down again.
<JeremiahSmith> And meanwhile, we'll be plotting. We'll be like the Borg Hive Mind.
<Ogredude> Do you have a spare MPU you could loan me? (Metaphor Processing Unit)
<JeremiahSmith> I would let you use mine, but it's being serviced like a US President.
<Ogredude> damn. And yours is one of those high-grade ones with a good CSF rate. (Coke Spew Factor)
<JeremiahSmith> What can I say?
* Ogredude wipes his monitor

_________________
Fandemonium 2010 -- No Boundaries.
http://www.fandemonium.org
Friday - Sunday, August 6th - 8th, 2010
Nampa Civic Center - Nampa, Idaho (Only 20 minutes from the airport!)
(Idaho: It ain't just potatoes anymore.)

More work stuff:

[07:59] <JP_Tech> can i ask a favor of someone here
[08:00] <lisab_tech> sure
[08:01] <JP_Tech> someone kill me before I get old
[08:01] <JP_Tech> please
[08:01] <lisab_tech> No.
[08:01] <JP_Tech>
[08:01] <JP_Tech> y not????
[08:01] <lisab_tech> Not on work time, that's something you'll have to deal with off the clock.
[08:01] <JP_Tech> lol
[08:01] <JP_Tech> right on
[08:01] <lisab_tech> good enough answer?
[08:01] <JP_Tech> yeah
[08:01] <JP_Tech>
[08:01] <lisab_tech> Okay...next question that you have?
[08:01] <JP_Tech> dont really have one
[08:02] <lisab_tech> okay
[08:02] <JP_Tech> that was the question

[19:33] <Consul> Chalain: I don't know if it'll work under OS X, but it may be worth a try. Some other time, when I'm not in a lousy mood.
[19:34] <Chalain> Heh, k... and when I'm not so fried that I can't tell the difference between <insert two items that are humorously incongruent>.
[19:34] <Vornicus> apples and battleplates?
[19:34] * Vornicus is now known as Vorn-is-a-Cthulhu
[19:34] <Consul> Watermelon and babies?
[19:35] <Tora-Chan[draw]> crabs and nukes?
[19:36] <Voldemortina> Vorn and me?
[19:37] <Consul> Sex and Consul?
[19:37] <Consul> Oh, wait...
[19:37] <kreely> book and furry pr0n?

[19:48] <Fredirc> so, what have I missed in the many months of my absence?
[19:49] <kreely> lots.
[19:50] <Fredirc> figured so
[19:50] <kreely> let's see...deamon asked bookworm to marry him, but it turns out that bookworm's a priest who thinks computers and programmers are evil...he's also a barber and likes to cut chalain's hair
[19:51] <Fritzy> Fredirc: plus kreely has mad kreely disease.. Howard hired a colorist, and Chalain eats babies.
[19:51] * ^^DeAmOn^ dies
[19:52] <Fredirc> ahhh.. so business as usual all around except for that colorist thing
[19:52] <Pronto> Pi has taken to summoning lesser Demons....
[19:52] <Pronto> But they keep diying on him.
[19:53] <Fredirc> Pronto: well, at the very least he could eat his failures, like cooks do.

Thanks a lot, kreely, you could have corrected my typo.

Why would I need to eat them? That's what I have Chalain for.

Oh, and the ones that die - these are NOT failures. That's the expected behavior. I value my life, and these are lesser demons, remember.

It's the ones that live that you have to worry about.

But the typo makes it that much more unique!

Why? Do they spawn and becomes processes?

[11:49:55 02/11/03] *** soldierboy (~seydadolu@Nightstar-8462.dial-in.ttnet.net.tr) has joined #nightstar
[11:50:10 02/11/03] <ShadesFox> hello soldierboy, what can we do for you?
[11:50:40 02/11/03] <soldierboy> thanks
[11:51:18 02/11/03] <soldierboy> can u write a channel name cause ý m from turkey and ý dont know
[11:51:52 02/11/03] <soldierboy> yes can u
[11:52:19 02/11/03] <Raif> sorry if this is offensive but do turkish keyboards have no i
[11:52:20 02/11/03] <Raif> ?
[11:52:27 02/11/03] <theM> #nightstar_bar
[11:52:30 02/11/03] *** soldierboy (~seydadolu@Nightstar-8462.dial-in.ttnet.net.tr) Quit (Quit: )
[11:52:39 02/11/03] <JeremiahSmith> You just HAD to ask, didn't you?
[11:52:42 02/11/03] <Raif> I really wanted to knwo too. =(
[11:53:00 02/11/03] *** soldierboy (~seydadolu@Nightstar-8462.dial-in.ttnet.net.tr) has joined #nightstar
[11:53:09 02/11/03] <soldierboy> no no no
[11:53:23 02/11/03] <soldierboy> ýt is not important
[11:53:35 02/11/03] <Raif> ah, they do have an i.

_________________
Scharr, scharr, verscharr das Gebein, grab es tief unten im Keller ein.
Später dann graben es andere aus, und nennen dein Haus das Knochenhaus.
Scharr, scharr, verscharr das Gebein, leg auch ihre weißen Schädel hinein.
Mit Beton gießt du es aus, das Fundament vom Knochenhaus.
Scharr, scharr, verscharr das Gebein, da ist noch Platz, da paßt noch wer rein.
Hier tobte sich der Teufel aus, unten im Keller im Knochenhaus.