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PostPosted: Tue Dec 07, 2004 9:43 pm 
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Malevolent God of the Schlockiverse
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Posts: 4409
Location: Orem, UT
Hey, y'all.

I've had numerous requests for link banners. Here they are:

The full paths and file names are:
http://www.schlockmercenary.com/images/ ... onance.gif
http://www.schlockmercenary.com/images/ ... ctTape.gif
http://www.schlockmercenary.com/images/ ... oxtrot.gif
http://www.schlockmercenary.com/images/ ... tBrass.gif
http://www.schlockmercenary.com/images/ ... bThree.gif
http://www.schlockmercenary.com/images/ ... geball.gif
http://www.schlockmercenary.com/images/ ... odNews.gif
http://www.schlockmercenary.com/images/ ... eOfGod.gif
http://www.schlockmercenary.com/images/ ... Crater.gif
http://www.schlockmercenary.com/images/ ... cience.gif
http://www.schlockmercenary.com/images/ ... herEye.gif
http://www.schlockmercenary.com/images/ ... hetics.gif
http://www.schlockmercenary.com/images/ ... 2Wrath.gif
http://www.schlockmercenary.com/images/ ... Scorch.gif
http://www.schlockmercenary.com/images/ ... erkill.gif
http://www.schlockmercenary.com/images/ ... sHummm.gif
http://www.schlockmercenary.com/images/ ... TheFun.gif
http://www.schlockmercenary.com/images/ ... nHands.gif
http://www.schlockmercenary.com/images/ ... dPills.gif
http://www.schlockmercenary.com/images/ ... Galaxy.gif

Feel free to deep link these (assuming you're using them one-at-a-time). Don't bother copying them to your own host. They're each less than 5k, and some are less than 3k.

--Howard

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Creator and Cartoonist, Schlock Mercenary


Last edited by Howard Tayler on Tue Aug 28, 2007 12:03 am, edited 4 times in total.

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PostPosted: Tue Dec 07, 2004 9:48 pm 
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Malevolent God of the Schlockiverse
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Posts: 4409
Location: Orem, UT
And now, for your viewing pleasure, here's what they look like...


Image

Image

Image

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Image

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Image

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Image

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 Post subject:
PostPosted: Tue Dec 07, 2004 10:17 pm 
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Irrational Number
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Wooo! Go Howard!

You make me wish I had a website so I could link you somewhere.


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 Post subject:
PostPosted: Tue Dec 07, 2004 10:50 pm 
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Malevolent God of the Schlockiverse
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And here is the rotating banner javascript, for you script-kiddies.

(A big thanks to DarthParadox, Raif, and Erik on the IRC channel!)
Quote:
<script language="JavaScript">
<!--
document.write('<a href=http://www.schlockmercenary.com><img src="http://www.schlockmercenary.com/images/Bnr' + Math.floor(Math.random()*21) + '.gif width=486 height=60 border=0></a>');
//-->
</script>
<NOSCRIPT>
<A HREF=http://www.schlockmercenary.com><IMG SRC=http://www.schlockmercenary.com/images/SchlockQuoteBanner-TravelTheGalaxy.gif></A>


Just paste that into your web-pages, and you'll get a fresh new banner on each reload. W00t!

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 Post subject:
PostPosted: Tue Dec 07, 2004 11:09 pm 
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Arctic Exhibit
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Joined: Tue Dec 07, 2004 11:06 pm
Posts: 88
hi. new poster. been reading for ages though.
me thinks this would make a great line for those banner thingys

Its not extortion if they pay you before you get a chance to properly extort them

http://www.schlockmercenary.com/d/20010415.html
last panel


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 Post subject:
PostPosted: Tue Dec 07, 2004 11:11 pm 
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Malevolent God of the Schlockiverse
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deaded wrote:
hi. new poster. been reading for ages though.
me thinks this would make a great line for those banner thingys

Its not extortion if they pay you before you get a chance to properly extort them

http://www.schlockmercenary.com/d/20010415.html
last panel


Yup. Keep 'em coming. I want to hear your favorites.

(note: you misquoted that one. The penultimate word is "threaten," not "extort.")

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Creator and Cartoonist, Schlock Mercenary


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 Post subject:
PostPosted: Tue Dec 07, 2004 11:19 pm 
Time to test this obnoxious thing out. ;)

I'd suggest a quote like "In the end we all die. You decide who dies first."


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 Post subject:
PostPosted: Tue Dec 07, 2004 11:44 pm 
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Monkey House Exhibit
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Joined: Sun Dec 05, 2004 1:27 am
Posts: 492
So, no JavaScript in signatures? Makes sense; there's just too much opportunity for abuse.


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 Post subject:
PostPosted: Wed Dec 08, 2004 12:08 am 
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Concession Worker
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How about:
"Judging from the sounds of general panic, I want a gun like that!"

And perhaps a condensed version of the "unnessesary violence" exchange from here:
http://www.schlockmercenary.com/d/20010304.html


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 Post subject:
PostPosted: Wed Dec 08, 2004 12:57 am 
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Monkey House Exhibit
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Posts: 437
And of course, you could use several of my bumper sticker ideas here. Right, howard? Right? :)

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I tell bad jokes and write bumper stickers.


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 Post subject:
PostPosted: Wed Dec 08, 2004 1:01 am 
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Monkey House Exhibit
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Posts: 437
Howard Tayler wrote:


(note: you misquoted that one. The penultimate word is "threaten," not "extort.")


Rule 17: My quoting skills are like my plasma cannon. Messy, violent, and imprecise.

;)

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I tell bad jokes and write bumper stickers.


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 Post subject:
PostPosted: Wed Dec 08, 2004 1:09 am 
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Vorpal Bunny Slipper
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Posts: 2703
http://www.schlockmercenary.com/d/20020528.html

"Guys, c'mere. This is funny." It works on so many levels!

Okay, two levels. That's still plural levels.

http://www.schlockmercenary.com/d/20020919.html

"This 'bright side' of yours is gloomy and smells funny."

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Scharr, scharr, verscharr das Gebein, grab es tief unten im Keller ein.
Später dann graben es andere aus, und nennen dein Haus das Knochenhaus.
Scharr, scharr, verscharr das Gebein, leg auch ihre weißen Schädel hinein.
Mit Beton gießt du es aus, das Fundament vom Knochenhaus.
Scharr, scharr, verscharr das Gebein, da ist noch Platz, da paßt noch wer rein.
Hier tobte sich der Teufel aus, unten im Keller im Knochenhaus.


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 Post subject:
PostPosted: Wed Dec 08, 2004 5:36 am 
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Monkey House Exhibit
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Posts: 485
Location: You can know who I am, or where I am, but not both.
I can't find the link right now, but the Rule:

"Only cheaters prosper."

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Cogito Cogitem Ergo Cogito Sim.


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 Post subject:
PostPosted: Wed Dec 08, 2004 11:24 am 
wraithzero wrote:
I can't find the link right now, but the Rule:

"Only cheaters prosper."


Mercenary Strip Search is your friend:

http://www.mercenarystripsearch.com:967 ... rs+prosper

"Rule #31: Only cheaters prosper."


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 Post subject:
PostPosted: Wed Dec 08, 2004 11:48 am 
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Monkey House Exhibit
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Joined: Tue Sep 21, 2004 2:42 am
Posts: 485
Location: You can know who I am, or where I am, but not both.
Hey, I'm at work right now, so I can't really go looking at webcomics (at least, not when I think I could get caught), I can only just get away with the message board.

Oh, and another good line:
"Always make a backup copy of yourself before opening fire."

I'll find the strip and edit in the link after I get home.

EDIT: There we go.

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Cogito Cogitem Ergo Cogito Sim.


Last edited by wraithzero on Wed Dec 08, 2004 1:10 pm, edited 1 time in total.

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 Post subject:
PostPosted: Wed Dec 08, 2004 1:03 pm 
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Concession Worker
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Joined: Sun May 12, 2002 1:30 am
Posts: 1490
Location: Ka'ashi
Ouch. That javascript totally wrecks my page layout and validation. I'm going to write a server side rotator sometime here for my page. :)
Code:
<script language="JavaScript" type="text/javascript">
<!--
document.write('<a href=http://www.schlockmercenary.com><img src="http://www.schlockmercenary.com/images/Bnr' + Math.floor(Math.random()*21) + '.gif" width="486" height="60" border="0" alt="Schlock Mercenary" /></a>');
//-->
</script>
<object>
<noscript>
<a href="http://www.schlockmercenary.com">
<img src="http://www.schlockmercenary.com/images/SchlockQuoteBanner-TravelTheGalaxy.gif" alt="Schlock Mercenary" /></a>
</noscript> </object>


Here's a few bug fixes. It fixes all validation problems. Yay. You may want to strip off the /'s from the /> if you are not using xhtml, other than that it should work in old html 4.0 as well.

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 Post subject:
PostPosted: Wed Dec 08, 2004 6:15 pm 
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Monkey House Exhibit
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Location: Somewhere, SD
I /so/ need the 'stupid pills' quote in a T-shirt form.

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Indeed.


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 Post subject:
PostPosted: Wed Dec 08, 2004 11:52 pm 
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Arctic Exhibit
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Joined: Fri Aug 27, 2004 1:53 pm
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Location: Somewhere out there...
Seconded. That quote is beautiful.


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PostPosted: Thu Dec 09, 2004 9:50 pm 
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Curator
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Location: Stop the world! I want to get off.
Schlock eats it.

They are the product of the hopelessly adolescent imagination of a sick, twisted cartoonist.

I'm fresh out of painkillers, Captain.

I've never seen a toilet spit that far before.

How many zeros do you think you'll need to express your gratitude?

You want I should start shooting these things out sir?

Explosive decompression sucks.

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Schrodinger's cat is <BLINK>not</BLINK> alive.


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 Post subject: Gotcha covered boss....
PostPosted: Fri Dec 10, 2004 4:24 pm 
Its one my site http://www.netsllc.net/users/mseve

Thanks ever so much for the encouragment to follow my dreams, and start my own comic. But it will be quite a while before I have time to start one. as I just started working on my undergraduate degree.

Keep on Schlocking.....

p.s. 'The Original Smiley' (c) 1978-2004


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 Post subject:
PostPosted: Sat Dec 11, 2004 6:33 am 
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Concession Worker
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Location: 'da jungle
On a related note, anyone have the "shoot the lawyers" banner game thingie?
It had plasgun lawyer-drone goodness.

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I look good in fur,
-The Dark Tiger

This month's avatar is lifted from Tonja Steele, who remind you to please, pet the Tiger.
No, it's not dark. No, I don't care.


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PostPosted: Sat Dec 11, 2004 6:56 am 
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Safari Exhibit
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Joined: Tue Oct 26, 2004 7:22 pm
Posts: 136
your right pi, seeing those banners gives me the sudden urge to make my own web sight.... sadly i am a privet person, so it cant be a me page, my art sucks worse than explosive decompression, so it can't be comic, no one realy wants to look through pictures of someon elses collections, and being a conservetive pritty much eliminates me from the blog circles, my spelling/grammer/punktuation 'creativity' anialates online noveling.... hmmm... pictures, of grass growing? maby my bed, which i should be using....


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PostPosted: Sat Dec 11, 2004 5:51 pm 
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Arctic Exhibit
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Joined: Wed Jul 16, 2003 11:13 pm
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Location: The Great White North
SuicideJunkie wrote:
How about:
"Judging from the sounds of general panic, I want a gun like that!"

And perhaps a condensed version of the "unnessesary violence" exchange from here:
http://www.schlockmercenary.com/d/20010304.html


"Broadening the definition of 'Necessary Violence' since 1998."
http://www.schlockmercenary.com/d/20010304.html

"Mercenaries are bright enough to resort to violence long before last resorts are required."
http://www.schlockmercenary.com/d/20000825.html

:D

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'Minimal collateral damage' and 'entire star system' do not belong in the same sentence.


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PostPosted: Sat Dec 11, 2004 6:13 pm 
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Arctic Exhibit
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Oops. Premature posting. Pardon moi.

I like all the Seven Habits. Truly excellent banner-ad material.

And another one from the very first strip, paraphrased:

"We don't do interspeciated workplaces. We do hurting people and breaking things."
http://www.schlockmercenary.com/d/20000612.html

Damn, I love this comic. :D

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'Minimal collateral damage' and 'entire star system' do not belong in the same sentence.


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 Post subject:
PostPosted: Sat Dec 11, 2004 7:22 pm 
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Intern
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red beard wrote:
my spelling/grammer/punktuation 'creativity' anialates online noveling


I think you'd be suprised how many authors aren't the best at spelling.

Anyway, my favourite comic is probably the plan C one, not really all that quotable though.

How about some of the footnotes? I think a couple of them have good jokes in.

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 Post subject:
PostPosted: Sun Dec 12, 2004 12:30 am 
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Irrational Number
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For when Howard starts taking personal requests....

Oh, I knwo he's irrational. I just thought Doctor Bunnigus had him medicated.

I can always use a new sig. :)


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PostPosted: Fri Dec 24, 2004 4:31 pm 
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Arctic Exhibit
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Joined: Fri Oct 08, 2004 8:58 pm
Posts: 71
http://www.schlockmercenary.com/d/20010425.html


Take quotes from there.

P.S. it took me a whileto figure out who howard taylor was, i had to stop and actually look at the strip before i figured it out.


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PostPosted: Mon Dec 27, 2004 9:08 am 
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Monkey House Exhibit
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Reckless_wanderer wrote:
http://www.schlockmercenary.com/d/20010425.html


Take quotes from there.

P.S. it took me a whileto figure out who howard taylor was, i had to stop and actually look at the strip before i figured it out.


You know Howard Taylor? Cool, when do the rest of us meet him, I'm sure our esteemed author would like to meet the twin who misspelled his last name at some point as well!

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Indeed.


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 Post subject:
PostPosted: Mon Dec 27, 2004 8:53 pm 
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Reptile House Exhibit
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"For boots like those, Id grow feet"
http://www.schlockmercenary.com/d/20010306.html

"Checkmate in 21 moves"
http://www.schlockmercenary.com/d/20010323.html


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 Post subject:
PostPosted: Sun Jan 02, 2005 12:27 am 
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Entertainment
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Location: The Republic of Texas
Repeat after me: "Morality pays poorly."


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