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PostPosted: Tue Dec 07, 2004 9:43 pm 
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Malevolent God of the Schlockiverse
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Joined: Sat May 11, 2002 1:55 pm
Posts: 4408
Location: Orem, UT
Hey, y'all.

I've had numerous requests for link banners. Here they are:

The full paths and file names are:
http://www.schlockmercenary.com/images/ ... onance.gif
http://www.schlockmercenary.com/images/ ... ctTape.gif
http://www.schlockmercenary.com/images/ ... oxtrot.gif
http://www.schlockmercenary.com/images/ ... tBrass.gif
http://www.schlockmercenary.com/images/ ... bThree.gif
http://www.schlockmercenary.com/images/ ... geball.gif
http://www.schlockmercenary.com/images/ ... odNews.gif
http://www.schlockmercenary.com/images/ ... eOfGod.gif
http://www.schlockmercenary.com/images/ ... Crater.gif
http://www.schlockmercenary.com/images/ ... cience.gif
http://www.schlockmercenary.com/images/ ... herEye.gif
http://www.schlockmercenary.com/images/ ... hetics.gif
http://www.schlockmercenary.com/images/ ... 2Wrath.gif
http://www.schlockmercenary.com/images/ ... Scorch.gif
http://www.schlockmercenary.com/images/ ... erkill.gif
http://www.schlockmercenary.com/images/ ... sHummm.gif
http://www.schlockmercenary.com/images/ ... TheFun.gif
http://www.schlockmercenary.com/images/ ... nHands.gif
http://www.schlockmercenary.com/images/ ... dPills.gif
http://www.schlockmercenary.com/images/ ... Galaxy.gif

Feel free to deep link these (assuming you're using them one-at-a-time). Don't bother copying them to your own host. They're each less than 5k, and some are less than 3k.

--Howard

_________________
Creator and Cartoonist, Schlock Mercenary


Last edited by Howard Tayler on Tue Aug 28, 2007 12:03 am, edited 4 times in total.

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PostPosted: Tue Dec 07, 2004 9:48 pm 
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Malevolent God of the Schlockiverse
User avatar

Joined: Sat May 11, 2002 1:55 pm
Posts: 4408
Location: Orem, UT
And now, for your viewing pleasure, here's what they look like...


Image

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Image

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_________________
Creator and Cartoonist, Schlock Mercenary


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 Post subject:
PostPosted: Tue Dec 07, 2004 10:17 pm 
Wooo! Go Howard!

You make me wish I had a website so I could link you somewhere.


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 Post subject:
PostPosted: Tue Dec 07, 2004 10:50 pm 
Offline
Malevolent God of the Schlockiverse
User avatar

Joined: Sat May 11, 2002 1:55 pm
Posts: 4408
Location: Orem, UT
And here is the rotating banner javascript, for you script-kiddies.

(A big thanks to DarthParadox, Raif, and Erik on the IRC channel!)
Quote:
<script language="JavaScript">
<!--
document.write('<a href=http://www.schlockmercenary.com><img src="http://www.schlockmercenary.com/images/Bnr' + Math.floor(Math.random()*21) + '.gif width=486 height=60 border=0></a>');
//-->
</script>
<NOSCRIPT>
<A HREF=http://www.schlockmercenary.com><IMG SRC=http://www.schlockmercenary.com/images/SchlockQuoteBanner-TravelTheGalaxy.gif></A>


Just paste that into your web-pages, and you'll get a fresh new banner on each reload. W00t!

_________________
Creator and Cartoonist, Schlock Mercenary


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 Post subject:
PostPosted: Tue Dec 07, 2004 11:09 pm 
hi. new poster. been reading for ages though.
me thinks this would make a great line for those banner thingys

Its not extortion if they pay you before you get a chance to properly extort them

http://www.schlockmercenary.com/d/20010415.html
last panel


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 Post subject:
PostPosted: Tue Dec 07, 2004 11:11 pm 
Offline
Malevolent God of the Schlockiverse
User avatar

Joined: Sat May 11, 2002 1:55 pm
Posts: 4408
Location: Orem, UT
deaded wrote:
hi. new poster. been reading for ages though.
me thinks this would make a great line for those banner thingys

Its not extortion if they pay you before you get a chance to properly extort them

http://www.schlockmercenary.com/d/20010415.html
last panel


Yup. Keep 'em coming. I want to hear your favorites.

(note: you misquoted that one. The penultimate word is "threaten," not "extort.")

_________________
Creator and Cartoonist, Schlock Mercenary


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 Post subject:
PostPosted: Tue Dec 07, 2004 11:19 pm 
Time to test this obnoxious thing out. ;)

I'd suggest a quote like "In the end we all die. You decide who dies first."


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 Post subject:
PostPosted: Tue Dec 07, 2004 11:44 pm 
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Monkey House Exhibit
Monkey House Exhibit

Joined: Sun Dec 05, 2004 1:27 am
Posts: 493
So, no JavaScript in signatures? Makes sense; there's just too much opportunity for abuse.


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 Post subject:
PostPosted: Wed Dec 08, 2004 12:08 am 
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Concession Worker
Concession Worker
User avatar

Joined: Mon Sep 02, 2002 4:15 pm
Posts: 1446
How about:
"Judging from the sounds of general panic, I want a gun like that!"

And perhaps a condensed version of the "unnessesary violence" exchange from here:
http://www.schlockmercenary.com/d/20010304.html


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 Post subject:
PostPosted: Wed Dec 08, 2004 12:57 am 
And of course, you could use several of my bumper sticker ideas here. Right, howard? Right? :)


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 Post subject:
PostPosted: Wed Dec 08, 2004 1:01 am 
Howard Tayler wrote:


(note: you misquoted that one. The penultimate word is "threaten," not "extort.")


Rule 17: My quoting skills are like my plasma cannon. Messy, violent, and imprecise.

;)


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 Post subject:
PostPosted: Wed Dec 08, 2004 1:09 am 
Offline
Vorpal Bunny Slipper
Vorpal Bunny Slipper

Joined: Sun May 12, 2002 2:54 am
Posts: 2707
http://www.schlockmercenary.com/d/20020528.html

"Guys, c'mere. This is funny." It works on so many levels!

Okay, two levels. That's still plural levels.

http://www.schlockmercenary.com/d/20020919.html

"This 'bright side' of yours is gloomy and smells funny."

_________________
Scharr, scharr, verscharr das Gebein, grab es tief unten im Keller ein.
Später dann graben es andere aus, und nennen dein Haus das Knochenhaus.
Scharr, scharr, verscharr das Gebein, leg auch ihre weißen Schädel hinein.
Mit Beton gießt du es aus, das Fundament vom Knochenhaus.
Scharr, scharr, verscharr das Gebein, da ist noch Platz, da paßt noch wer rein.
Hier tobte sich der Teufel aus, unten im Keller im Knochenhaus.


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 Post subject:
PostPosted: Wed Dec 08, 2004 5:36 am 
I can't find the link right now, but the Rule:

"Only cheaters prosper."


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 Post subject:
PostPosted: Wed Dec 08, 2004 11:24 am 
wraithzero wrote:
I can't find the link right now, but the Rule:

"Only cheaters prosper."


Mercenary Strip Search is your friend:

http://www.mercenarystripsearch.com:967 ... rs+prosper

"Rule #31: Only cheaters prosper."


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 Post subject:
PostPosted: Wed Dec 08, 2004 11:48 am 
Hey, I'm at work right now, so I can't really go looking at webcomics (at least, not when I think I could get caught), I can only just get away with the message board.

Oh, and another good line:
"Always make a backup copy of yourself before opening fire."

I'll find the strip and edit in the link after I get home.

EDIT: There we go.


Last edited by wraithzero on Wed Dec 08, 2004 1:10 pm, edited 1 time in total.

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 Post subject:
PostPosted: Wed Dec 08, 2004 1:03 pm 
Ouch. That javascript totally wrecks my page layout and validation. I'm going to write a server side rotator sometime here for my page. :)
Code:
<script language="JavaScript" type="text/javascript">
<!--
document.write('<a href=http://www.schlockmercenary.com><img src="http://www.schlockmercenary.com/images/Bnr' + Math.floor(Math.random()*21) + '.gif" width="486" height="60" border="0" alt="Schlock Mercenary" /></a>');
//-->
</script>
<object>
<noscript>
<a href="http://www.schlockmercenary.com">
<img src="http://www.schlockmercenary.com/images/SchlockQuoteBanner-TravelTheGalaxy.gif" alt="Schlock Mercenary" /></a>
</noscript> </object>


Here's a few bug fixes. It fixes all validation problems. Yay. You may want to strip off the /'s from the /> if you are not using xhtml, other than that it should work in old html 4.0 as well.


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 Post subject:
PostPosted: Wed Dec 08, 2004 6:15 pm 
I /so/ need the 'stupid pills' quote in a T-shirt form.


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 Post subject:
PostPosted: Wed Dec 08, 2004 11:52 pm 
Seconded. That quote is beautiful.


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 Post subject:
PostPosted: Thu Dec 09, 2004 9:50 pm 
Schlock eats it.

They are the product of the hopelessly adolescent imagination of a sick, twisted cartoonist.

I'm fresh out of painkillers, Captain.

I've never seen a toilet spit that far before.

How many zeros do you think you'll need to express your gratitude?

You want I should start shooting these things out sir?

Explosive decompression sucks.


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 Post subject: Gotcha covered boss....
PostPosted: Fri Dec 10, 2004 4:24 pm 
Its one my site http://www.netsllc.net/users/mseve

Thanks ever so much for the encouragment to follow my dreams, and start my own comic. But it will be quite a while before I have time to start one. as I just started working on my undergraduate degree.

Keep on Schlocking.....

p.s. 'The Original Smiley' (c) 1978-2004


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 Post subject:
PostPosted: Sat Dec 11, 2004 6:33 am 
On a related note, anyone have the "shoot the lawyers" banner game thingie?
It had plasgun lawyer-drone goodness.


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 Post subject:
PostPosted: Sat Dec 11, 2004 6:56 am 
your right pi, seeing those banners gives me the sudden urge to make my own web sight.... sadly i am a privet person, so it cant be a me page, my art sucks worse than explosive decompression, so it can't be comic, no one realy wants to look through pictures of someon elses collections, and being a conservetive pritty much eliminates me from the blog circles, my spelling/grammer/punktuation 'creativity' anialates online noveling.... hmmm... pictures, of grass growing? maby my bed, which i should be using....


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 Post subject:
PostPosted: Sat Dec 11, 2004 5:51 pm 
SuicideJunkie wrote:
How about:
"Judging from the sounds of general panic, I want a gun like that!"

And perhaps a condensed version of the "unnessesary violence" exchange from here:
http://www.schlockmercenary.com/d/20010304.html


"Broadening the definition of 'Necessary Violence' since 1998."
http://www.schlockmercenary.com/d/20010304.html

"Mercenaries are bright enough to resort to violence long before last resorts are required."
http://www.schlockmercenary.com/d/20000825.html

:D


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 Post subject:
PostPosted: Sat Dec 11, 2004 6:13 pm 
Oops. Premature posting. Pardon moi.

I like all the Seven Habits. Truly excellent banner-ad material.

And another one from the very first strip, paraphrased:

"We don't do interspeciated workplaces. We do hurting people and breaking things."
http://www.schlockmercenary.com/d/20000612.html

Damn, I love this comic. :D


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 Post subject:
PostPosted: Sat Dec 11, 2004 7:22 pm 
red beard wrote:
my spelling/grammer/punktuation 'creativity' anialates online noveling


I think you'd be suprised how many authors aren't the best at spelling.

Anyway, my favourite comic is probably the plan C one, not really all that quotable though.

How about some of the footnotes? I think a couple of them have good jokes in.


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 Post subject:
PostPosted: Sun Dec 12, 2004 12:30 am 
For when Howard starts taking personal requests....

Oh, I knwo he's irrational. I just thought Doctor Bunnigus had him medicated.

I can always use a new sig. :)


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 Post subject:
PostPosted: Fri Dec 24, 2004 4:31 pm 
http://www.schlockmercenary.com/d/20010425.html


Take quotes from there.

P.S. it took me a whileto figure out who howard taylor was, i had to stop and actually look at the strip before i figured it out.


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 Post subject:
PostPosted: Mon Dec 27, 2004 9:08 am 
Reckless_wanderer wrote:
http://www.schlockmercenary.com/d/20010425.html


Take quotes from there.

P.S. it took me a whileto figure out who howard taylor was, i had to stop and actually look at the strip before i figured it out.


You know Howard Taylor? Cool, when do the rest of us meet him, I'm sure our esteemed author would like to meet the twin who misspelled his last name at some point as well!


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 Post subject:
PostPosted: Mon Dec 27, 2004 8:53 pm 
"For boots like those, Id grow feet"
http://www.schlockmercenary.com/d/20010306.html

"Checkmate in 21 moves"
http://www.schlockmercenary.com/d/20010323.html


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 Post subject:
PostPosted: Sun Jan 02, 2005 12:27 am 
Repeat after me: "Morality pays poorly."


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